Page 52 of Judge
“Hey, hey, now, none of that,” Lovely coos, wiping a rogue tear from my cheek. “Look, it’s quiet at the moment, why don’t you take a seat and let us know how we can help you?”
I nod as she guides me to an empty seat in one of the larger booths, the girl gang, Pops and Mad Dog all cramming in with me in the center, like the meat in a crazy biker family sandwich.
Taking a deep breath I let it out shakily, “So, I’m guessing all your old men let you know what happened to us?” My eyes dart to theirs before looking away in embarrassment.
“We know what we need to know. If you want to tell us more, you can, if not, we’re all good with that.” Ana shrugs. “We just want his balls anyway.”
“I just, I just feel so fucking ashamed,” I moan, hiding my face in my hands.
“Why?” Chewy frowns, head tipped to the side as if I’m a mystery to solve.
“I let that man into our lives. I let him treat me like that, chipping away at me until evenIcouldn’t recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror. He made me weak,” I end on a whisper.
“And? You’re not anymore, and that’s what matters,” Chewy shrugs.
Lovely pats her on the shoulder, before turning to me. “Sometimes we are put in situations where the only way to survive is to appear weak. What do you think Seth would have done if you had fought back earlier?”
I sit silent, mulling over Lovely’s words. Seth was charming, manipulative, and volatile. My mind flashes back to argumentswhere he’d throw things, the time he shoved me. He’d only gotten fully violent that one night, but that’s not to say that he wouldn’t have sooner if I hadn’t bowed down.
“Ah, now she’s getting it,” Mad Dog says. “Sweetheart, chances are, if this version of you was in a relationship with Seth, he would have hurt you and the kids a lot sooner. Men like that, they crave control and feed off fear.”
“They’re the dangerous ones because they come across as good men,” Lovely says, her voice strong. Her and Blanche know all about bad men masquerading as good men.
“They steal your light and that shit happens so slowly you don’t even notice it. I was with Josh for months before I saw what he was like,” Vi adds.
“Ugh, such a bland ham sandwich of a man,” Pops says with disgust.
“He made me feel so small that I would do just about anything for him just so he would be proud of me. Sure Jules comes across as a grump, but that man works hard to show me how much he values me. It’s not his natural setting to make a fool of himself, but he will salsa dance with me every chance he gets because he knows it makes me happy,” Vi grins.
“Wire knew me long before we ever met in real life. He knew the real me. Knew what my life was like and even when he didn’t know what I looked like, he’d send me messages and gifts to cheer me up. He games with me and wears couples costumes to Armageddon. He helps bring light to my life, he doesn’t steal it.” Remy adds, a soft smile on her face.
“Rhodie does too. He is the person who makes me better,” Chewy adds, with a nod, no fluff.
Looking around at my friends, my new family, I voice the words I had been hiding from myself. “Leo is my light. He always has been.”
“And you’re his,” Pops places a hand on my leg and gives it a pat.
“Soooo, can we now talk about what we want to do about this Seth guy?” Chewy asks and I throw my head back and laugh, blowing away all the seriousness.
“What the fuck is that?!” is yelled out and I spin to find Chelsea Wilson’s kid pointing at the TV on the wall, a dangerous shade of red.
“Haha! Are you crying there? What a pussy!” The red headed kid sitting with Elio, Cove and Jovie yells with a mouth full of food. “Dude, aren’t you like fourteen or something? I bet you sleep on a waterproof mattress,” the kid chortles, as Toby Wilson, the fat bully gapes at the TV.
His friends all jeer, because why wouldn’t they? They’re all goddamn awful too.
“What in the hell is going on?” Nat mumbles, eyes glued to the screen as we watch tubby Toby dance around in his bedroom in his underwear.
“Turn it off!” he screeches, rushing toward the diner TV but freezing in his tracks when Jax stands, arms crossed, feet planted.
“You ain’t turning shit off,” he growls, reminding me so much of his father.
“Hey! What the hell!?” A kid from Toby’s table shoots up, staring in horror at himself, crying on the big screen, begging some girl to go out with him.
The red-headed kid at Jovie and Cove’s table roars with laughter, tossing a fry at the guy, “Dude, that is not how you get women. EvenIknow that and I’m only ten!” he gets dangerously close to rolling out of the booth because he’s laughing so hard, and that’s when I see it.
The remote to the TV tucked beside Elio, his fingers flying over his tablet. He taps something then his eyes fly to the TV just as the scene changes to another of the teens at Toby’s table.
“Those little shits,” Blanche mutters under her breath.
