Page 57 of Silver Linings
I came because I can’t stop thinking about you.
I came because I wanted to hear your laugh and see you smile.
I came because even though I tried to push you away, you burrowed into my bloodstream, and I can’t excise you. I don’t want to.
“We’re friends. I wanted to make sure you had a good turnout. It would seem I didn’t need to come at all.” I reach my hand to scratch the back of my neck.
She’s looking pointedly away from me but has a slight tinge of pink at the top of her cheekbones.
“Let me help you clean up,” I offer.
She stiffens a little. Barely perceptible, but I caught it.
“Oh…that’s okay. There isn’t much to do, and you’ve already done so much to help me this week.” She tries to brush off the rejection with a nonchalant wave of her hand and a smile plastered to her face.
“I don’t mind,” I attempt to assure her without making her feel pressured.
She plays with the gold chain hanging off her neck, zipping the small pendant back and forth. “I appreciate the offer, but it’s not necessary. You’ve done so much for the store already. You should enjoy the rest of your weekend, free of this place.” I can see the walls going up around her body like a concrete fence. Part of me wants to poke and prod, force her to let me in, but I don’t.
Friends. I’m starting to resent the word.
“Well then, thank you for an…illuminating evening.” She chuckles under her breath and looks up at me from beneath lowered lashes.
“I’ll see you on Monday, Susanna.”
“See you Monday, Hank.”
I say a quick goodbye to Holly and Carmen and step out into the cool night air, even though all I want to do is stay.
I’m a few blocks away from the store when I realize it’s after ten at night, and I’ve left Silver to walk home alone. I’m not an idiot; I know she grew up in New York and knows these streets better than anyone. But something is niggling me in my stomach to turn around and go back, to see her home safely.
Another part of me is screaming that I’m being a territorial brute who needs to back off. She made it clear she wants to be alone, but the voice in my head is persistent, yelling at me to double back and walk her home.
The city is pulsing around me, completely unaware of the internal battle I’m fighting. People stumble in and out of bars,the bass from the music blasting out of cars zooming by, friends arm in arm, laughing with each other as they walk around me.
I’ve stopped dead in the middle of the block and started pacing in circles, brain waring against my heart as uneasiness grips me in its clutches. Go home or go back for her. Maybe I’ll just double back to make sure she’s alright, she doesn’t even have to know I came back to check on her.
Turning around, I head back to Brownstone Books. Back to Silver.
I just have to hope she won’t feel like I overstepped.
When I’m halfway back to the store, I run into Holly and Carmen.
“Hey, Hen!” Carmen shouts at me. “What did you think about tonight?”
“I loved it. I want all future book recommendations from you.” I look behind them, hoping to see Silver coming around the corner after them, but she’s not there. “Is Silver not with you?”
“No, she sent us away. She knows I’m on deadline, and Carmen is on her way to a party. We tried to stay and help, but she insisted she could lock up on her own,” Holly answers.
“Right, okay, thanks. I’ll see you guys next week.” The churning in my gut has gotten worse. The only thing keeping it at bay was the hope the girls were there with her.
I step around them. “She’s probably still cleaning or about to close up. You should be able to catch her.” There’s a knowing glint in Holly’s eyes, but I don’t have time to consider it. It’s obvious she knows I’m gone for her friend.
Everything is okay—it has to be—but the sinking feeling in my gut won’t go away, so I hasten my steps. I’m only a couple blocks from the store, heading towards the quieter and much less populated block the store resides on.
I round the corner of the street and stop dead in my tracks, understanding the gut feeling I had.
My blood runs cold at the sight of Silver halfway down the block, fighting off an attacker, and a fear I’ve only experienced one other time seizes my body before I take off like a rocket toward my girl.
