Page 63 of Silver Linings
“What do you need?”
I shake my head, unable to speak around my rapid breathing or form coherent enough thoughts to be able to figure out what I need. But I reach my hand up and grab her wrist, keeping her hand on my face. Her eyes flit back and forth over me as she continues to stroke my face. I lay there for unknown minutes, waiting for my pulse to slow, the sweat drying on my skin starting to make me feel itchy.
Once my heart settles into a normal rhythm, I’m able to focus on other details around me. The moon gilding a path through the bedroom, Silver’s smooth bare legs peeking out from her cotton sleep shorts, the heat emanating from her hand as she runs her fingers through my hair at a hypnotic pace.
“Do you think I could shower?” My tone is gruff with embarrassment at her seeing me like this, vulnerable and out of my body. Weak. My father’s voice filters in, harsh and unwanted.Men don’t pander to emotions, Hendrix. Get your shit together.
She stands slowly, taking my hand and guiding me into her bathroom. She rummages around in a linen closet and pulls a towel out, setting it on the sink counter for me. When she turns to leave, I halt her with my arm blocking her path.
“Would you—would you stay with me?” I can’t look at her, afraid of what I’ll see if I do, but when she doesn’t say anything, I glance down.
Raised eyebrows greet me, and I realize I’ve just asked her to stay with me when I’m about to strip naked and shower.
I rush to course correct. “Not to get inwithme… Just stay. Talk to me like you do.”
“Like what? Incessantly?” she jokes while huffing out a laugh.
A small smile curves the corners of my mouth. “Yeah, Sunshine. Something like that.”
Vulnerability creeps over her expression, but she doesn’t leave, instead hopping up onto the bathroom counter. When I start to take my clothes off, she turns her head to give me privacy.
After I’ve stepped into her shower, she starts to speak. “Sorry, all my products are pretty girly, so you’re going to smell like fruit.” Her voice rings out trying to cut her nervousness with humor.
“I don’t mind smelling like you.”
Judging by the silence, that might have been too much, but Silver is quick on her toes and picks up the conversation again.
“If you could go anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?” She brings us to neutral territory, back to the tradition we have that feels as natural as breathing. It soothes the unrest inside me to have something that feels so familiar with her.
“Africa,” I answer. “Specifically, the Serengeti in Tanzania.” It was a trip my siblings and I always talked about doing together but never got to. I was always too busy with work whenever Maddox would bring it up. I still hate myself for it, not taking that vacation when I had the chance. “What about you?”
“Morocco. I want to see all the colors in the markets and try all the food and spices.” She wastes no time between her answer and her next question, clearly trying to distract me. “What is your favorite controversial pizza topping?”
Scalding water beats down my back, loosening my muscles as I think through my answer. “Probably tuna.”
“You’re a monster.” I can practically see the way her face puckers in adorable distaste.
“It’s actually pretty good.”
“I can’t believe I’m listening to this.”
We go back and forth like this for another ten minutes while I wash off the sweat and feel my body unknot from the combination of her voice and the hot water.
She leaves to give me privacy as I get out of the shower before I’m standing in her room in nothing but a towel, staring at my sweat-soaked clothes.
“I think I have a pair of Kena’s old University sweats still here… They might be a little small, but you could wear those?” There’s a wobble to her voice as she looks past me at her wall.
I’d prefer small over wet, so I accept her offer, and a few minutes later, I’m in gray sweats that aredefinitelytoo tight on me, chest bare.
Silver’s gaze glides down my body slowly, but she doesn’t say anything. She just pats the bed she made up with fresh sheets, and we both slip in quietly, sliding our backs against the headboard and letting the events of the night settle around us.
Her room is softly illuminated by moonlight, and I take a deep breath in before reaching out and tugging her to lay down with me, grabbing her hands in the process so they rest between us.
“Are you okay?” Her voice is gentle, tentative.
I pull her hand to my mouth and kiss her knuckles. We’ve slowly gotten closer these past few weeks working on the store, but this isn’t something I’ll ever be ready to talk about and have purposefully avoided in the past. But something about her thumb softly stroking the back of my hand makes me want to flay myself open before her.
“Two years ago, my younger brother died.” Silver sucks in a nearly inaudible breath before I continue. “Both my sister and I were there, and we didn’t get to him in time. My mind likes to make me relive it occasionally in a recurring nightmare.”
