Page 34 of The Bright Side of Brooding
Chapter Sixteen
Summer
Girls’ night out came at the perfect time.
I’d spent the rest of the day rocking back and forth between thrilled that Nick clearly wanted to kiss me again and dread that he was slowly stacking up things I’d owe him for. When the time came for me to drive to the train station and meet my friends for a night out, I was more than ready. I wanted good food and company, and I didn’t want to think about Nick or his stupid huge biceps or that baffling, mind-blowing smile he threw at me.
We were meeting in the small city of Regensburg, less than a half hour from Kugelfels and the surrounding towns where most of us lived. I’d caught an early train so I could grab a few items at the Asian market before our reservation. The commissary on post often had a nice selection of Asian cooking ingredients, but nothing like an Asian grocery store.
The snow hadn’t completely melted, but it would be gone soon. The air was chilly, but thankfully, not terribly icy. For the very beginning of March, I’d take it. Sometimes, wintry weather lasted another month, and sometimes, we’d have warmer days breaking through—much like anywhere else, I supposed. I’d only been here for two winters before this, but so far, this one seemed to have more snow but less lethally cold days.
“There you are,” Bec Jones said, clutching her purse close to her body in a way that gave the impression she’d snuggled with it. Her high heels made her only an inch or two shorter than Katie Miller, who stood next to her.
“Ooh, what’s in the bag?” Emily Wender asked with a flick of a perfectly manicured nail, eyeing the sack I carried.
“I ran to the Asian market—I’m doing some Korean dishes for the next feast night.” I’d already decided since I’d be gone for this next weekend for the competition and wouldn’t have my normal time to prep.
Bec raised her hand. “Me. Please me. And Thatcher. Can we be on the list?”
“You know, I haven’t ever been to one of your feast nights,” Katie Miller said, a sweet smile on her kind face.
“You can all come. Maybe this should be a girls’ feast night,” I offered.
The resoundingyesmade me laugh, and I warmed. All of me. It’d been years since I’d had a group of female friends like this. Not since my time in the Army, and even then, it had been more situational—work colleagues who became friends due to forced proximity of life. Maybe that was how all friendships started, but I loved that these women had become my friends over the last few months because we’d prioritized spending time together.
“Where are Ariel and Livie? I was thinking maybe you guys were coming together,” Emily said, holding the door to the restaurant open.
“Ah, Livie can’t come tonight—she’s under the weather. Ariel’s on the way. She had to take a later train than she’d planned on—something about her mom? Not sure, but she’s coming. She’ll be like twenty minutes late, so she did give me her order if we want to go ahead.” I swiped my phone open, double-checking the note she’d sent.
“Nah, we aren’t in a rush. The whole point is to relax and be together. Plus, you know the waiter won’t be in a rush.” Bec gave me a smile, and we chuckled, no doubt both thinking of the same thing.
We’d traveled together this past Christmas, just a quick trip to Croatia, but we’d encountered one of the slowest restaurants of all time. A three-course meal had taken two and a half hours. No lie. While Bec and I both appreciated a slower approach, that’d been a stretch. Had it been a meal with more courses? Sure. This was not one of those luxurious, dreamy ones.
Service in Europe was always a huge adjustment for Americans. By now, I was fully adjusted to the slow, leisurely pace of dining out, and I knew it was something I’d miss if I ever moved back Stateside.
Even thinking about moving back made my spirits plummet. It wasn’t like that was a risk for me—I had a job, all my paperwork was in order, and I had the chance for advancement which was incredibly rare at a small post like Kugelfels.
Sometimes, I wondered if being in Germany gave me an added layer of freedom from my past. Like, if I was nowhere near the small town I grew up in, it somehow meant I was that much healthier and happier. And on some level, that might be true.
But I’d never been happier than in Germany, and in many ways, in the last few months. The distance from home was one thing, but I wanted to believe that, more than that, it was that I’d grown and matured. I’d left home more than twelve years ago. I wished I didn’t have to even think about it anymore, but I did, and inevitably, moving back to the US brought up the thoughts of visiting.
I’d be guilted into visiting, even though at one point during college, I’d been officially disowned. Then somehow, that’d been changed—I suspected thanks to my younger sister Jenny. The first time, I’d visited for approximately two hours, and I’d prearranged that. My mother was only fifty-five and my dad sixty, so they still worked. I’d gone on a Saturday, drove up in the car I had then, a used Honda sedan I’d bought in my first year of active duty.
The questions about the car came immediately. The criticism about taking out a car loan first, then the explanation of paying it off—one would think that’d be good news, but instead it made meuppity. They reminded me how little I did for them, how much I owed them for raising me, how I should be grateful they taught me to fend for myself. At twenty-seven years old, I got in the car, drove twenty minutes out of town, and then pulled over and bawled my guts out. And honestly, that’d been one of the more pleasant visits since Jenny had been there, and most of the time had been focusing on her and her new baby.
I breathed deep, reminding myself that moving back to the US would happen eventually, but I had nothing to worry about. If I did move, I’d deal with it. Fine. Done.
I shouldered the yucky feelings out of the room and shut the door on them. No time or place for any more of that nonsense right now.
The host seated us at a carved wooden table, the bench seats built into the wall creating a horseshoe shape. Perfect for chatting with everyone, and fortunately, this place offered small cushions, which helped the comfort factor significantly. I never wanted to own or even work for a restaurant, but I liked to notice things like that—how the seats might influence the dining experience. If you had the best meal in the world, the food of your absolute dreams, but your butt was numb from sitting on a hard, cold seat? No thanks. No one needed that kind of distraction from the food.
Soon enough, Ariel arrived, and everyone peppered her with questions about Livie, her brother, her niece and nephew, and her mom. Then finally, Emily asked what all of us always wanted to know.
“And how’s Nate?”
Ariel kept her attention pinned to her menu. “He’s been gone a lot—long hours, rotation, and busy with work right now. They have the rotation starting late next week so I—” she cut herself off. “So last I saw… much of him… was at Summer’s feast night.” She turned her brilliant blue eyes to me.
There was something pleading in them that made me perk up. Before I could ask her what was going on, she kept talking.
