Page 62 of The Bright Side of Brooding
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Nick
I had this fantasy at work. You’d come over. We’d sit on the couch. The minutes would tick by, and I’d just stay there, arms around you, knowing you wanted to be right next to me.
Nothing in my life to this point could compare to the night with Summer.
No, she hadn’t stayed the night, not when we both had to be up early for work. But the hours we spent were so full. I hadn’t realized how much of my life felt empty until she’d arrived and filled it up.
Obviously, the persistent awareness of being alone and grieving had prime placement, so it wasn’t that I didn’t realize how sad I’d been. I knew that well and needed only to flip back through the pages of my current journal, even the several preceding this one, to see it. Until the last few months, where new themes had slipped in.
Going about my day, some of the restlessness I often felt had dissipated. Not precisely because of Summer, but more from having something to look forward to. The sense of endless, unremarkable days stretching out until retirement, and then fumbling toward owning a gym, hadn’t evaporated by any means. It still clung to my heels, nipping at my feet as I walked. But it no longer hung on my back, dragging me down.Thatwas remarkable.
The high from time with Summer ebbed by midday, though I hoped to see her tonight. She’d made plans to deliver a meal to someone and had work for her food drive to do. But we’d said we’d check in after work, and I itched to get to that point in the day. Before that I had to meet with Sergeant Major Allen. Good man, overall, but I didn’t relish meeting with him.
“Sergeant Masters. How’s it going?” Allen waved me into his office, unusually congenial for himself.
“Doing well, Sergeant Major.”
He nodded, an exaggerated movement I’d forever associate with him. “Good to hear. Still eyeing retirement next year?”
“Roger. Working toward getting things organized for what’s next.” For once, that didn’t bring such a fall of dread.
“Good. Good for you.” He squinted, eyeing me like he might puzzle out my true motivations if I sat there long enough.
I knew what was coming but couldn’t fault him. In fact, I knew I should take all of this as a compliment.
“Colonel and I have been talking. We’d love to see you stay on longer.”
I said nothing—didn’t want to refuse immediately and sour things.
“All I’m asking is you think on it. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but you won’t be too far from dropping your packet, then we get to out-processing and before you know it, you’re on terminal leave and staring down life as a civilian.”
A muddled swirl of thoughts hit me then. Relief, uncertainty, and closer than ever before, hope.Hunger, even. “Thank you. I’ll think about it.”
He held up his hands. “All I’m asking.”
I nodded again, and he gave me the go ahead, so I stood. “Have a good day, Sergeant Major.”
“You too, Sergeant Masters.”
I left his office, wondering just how much the new feelings had to do with Summer. I couldn’t pin all the emotions on her—we’d just started. But somehow, last night, our relationship, whatever it was, had progressed. Beyond the physical, we’d connected. We had been, in small ways, for weeks now, but this was more than I’d ever had with anyone, times ten. It wasn’t perfect, but it was ours, and I wanted more of it.
* * *
By the time I knocked on Summer’s door, it was past nine that night. She’d had an issue come up with the food drive, and of course, refused my help. She hadn’t said what it was, and since she’d texted, not called, I couldn’t tell whether it was something big or not. By the look of her when she answered the door, it’d been a rough day.
“You okay?” I asked, stepping into the living room as she shut the door.
She nodded, uncharacteristically quiet and clearly upset. I held up an arm, and she immediately leaned into me and wrapped herself around me. I took the hug and savored it, shutting my eyes with the feeling of her against me. After a moment, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Another minute, and then she released me.
“Thank you.” She looked a little better—more color in her cheeks now.
“Thankyou.”
She pressed her lips together like she might not tell me what was going on, but acquiesced. “I went to check the donation boxes, and they were disappointing. But then I discovered all the flyers had been torn down.”
“Who would do that?”
