Page 31 of Almost Perfect
“There is. I told her I just broke up with someone, so… not on the market.”
I hummed, not sure how to respond to this. Maybe because I found the statement confusing. She’d broken up with someone, so her being single, that sounded good. But then hearing her say she wasn’t on the market sent a cold wave of disappointment through me. And none of that made sense, since this woman wasn’t an option for me anyway.
“What’s that? What’s the ‘hmm’ for?”
I snuck a look over at her, the adrenaline knocking through me as I felt the words coming before I could stop them. “I remember reading about a breakup. That part of the headlines was true, huh?”
THIRTEEN
Calla
Well, crap.
I shouldn’t have said anything about that, but I couldn’t just let it hang out there. Especially not with this strange draw to him that’d compelled me to press him for answers. And to admit I’d looked him up.
It wasn’t embarrassment, exactly, but something that felt a little more raw. So I’d made sure he knew I wasn’t interested. But now, I could feel it. I could tell I was about to do something with him I had never done, and it didn’t make sense, but I couldn’t have stopped the words for anything.
“Not really. First, Brian was never my real boyfriend.” I let out a long breath, nerves churning. “It was a publicity move—a favor, really.”
“That was nice of you.”
I laughed. “A favor from him to me.”
His brows rose high on his head, and this told me he really didn’t know much about me. That was both rare and delightful. His admission that he’d looked me up and that what he’d seen had influenced his impression of me should’ve disappointed me. Maybe somewhere deep down it did, but mostly, it made me feel glad we were cutting through that. He’d apologized thoroughly and genuinely last night, and even before. People so rarely did that and meant it, so he’d had my forgiveness immediately.
With his attention on the road, I took the chance to study him, and immediately, my stomach dropped. He was ridiculously handsome. A trimmed blond, brown, red, and just a touch of gray beard shaded his cut jaw. His features were all proportionate and pleasing, and his lips were just… kind of laughable. He was this big, strong man with a bottom lip so plush, I’d thought about it. And I was not in the business of thinking about men like that.
“Forgive me for asking, but why would it be a favor to you?”
He sounded genuinely perplexed.Yeah, definitely has no idea what a screeching pile of failures my life has been in the last few years.
“He’s an old, good friend. He has a great reputation and is hugely successful. He wanted a little bad-boy edge because he was going for—well, none of that matters. The point is, dating me could give him a little less golden-boy aura and a little more edge. And for me, being with someone whose star has done nothing but rise in the last decade, was one of many last-ditch efforts to salvage my career.” Even I heard the bitterness ring out in my voice.
“I don’t see how it needs salvaging. You’re one of the biggest names on earth. You’re… I mean, you’re an A-lister, right? I don’t… I guess I know nothing about all that.”
His hands shifted on the steering wheel, and it hit me that this might be the first time I’d noticed them without gloves on. They were large and nice-looking, long fingers with clean, trimmed nails. I bet they’d be calloused, and maybe kind of rough in the palms. But something told me Wyatt would only ever touch a woman gently.
What in the what are you thinking about?
I shifted my body so I could study the passing scenery of the canyon and not continue that futile train of thought. Then I remembered he’d said something and I should respond. “I guess, technically, yes. But my last few albums have tanked. Everything with Candy has put me in a place to be on the defense. The whole ‘Mayhem’ thing has taken a dark turn lately.”
I’d never felt the bone-deep need to escape my life until the last few months. Right after Candy’s death, I’d been in a fog, so escaping hadn’t even occurred to me. But things with Rad had gotten more and more problematic during the last six months, and his guidance felt like the first in a long line of issues I just had to escape.
So I did. But talking about all of it brought it right back and only bolstered my desire to stay away as long as I could. To be here as Calla, not Miss Mayhem. I could be this version of myself, this girl who’d grown up in a small town and chatted with chap-wearing ranchers. Wantingthatwasn’t so wrong, was it?
Yet, if I’d ever needed more evidence that wanting things was pure poison, I needed only look at my life these last few years.
“So this popstar kid was helping you, but now you’re broken up because of some story even though you were never together?” He sounded… irritated. “Doesn’t that hurt you more than help?”
“It’s a good breaking point. The fact that the illicit affair I was supposedly having was a lunch with my manager didn’t seem to matter to the reporters. I called Brian and told him it was a perfect opportunity for him to split with me and look good doing it, and he actually objected, the idiot.”
I still felt a small, shocked glow in some hollowed out corner of my heart at the memory. I hadn’t earned that kind of loyalty or friendship from him—not really. But he was a good egg, and he’d proven it then.
His publicist, however, had agreed with me and jockeyed hard to take advantage of the moment to break with me. I couldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t want my client’s reputation tied to me either. Especially not with this latest crush of ‘insider interviews’ supposedly detailing my drug abuse and how I’d introduced the stuff that Candy’d gotten hooked on and eventually OD’d from.
Only one person could be blamed for that. Even if I hadn’t provided the drugs or encouraged it—even if I’d done what I could to prevent it. That person was me. All my ambition had led to one foolish decision after another and at the end of that ride had been Candy’s death, my failure, and any number of other injuries along the way.
I could not subject anyone else to that again. Not ever.
