Page 73 of Almost Home
I wouldn’t say all that to my mom, so I said, “Mostly. Have you?”
Her lips pressed into a smile-frown. “I did a long time ago, but it was different for me. I had to watch you in pain and then watchyouleave.”
My heart pinched. “I guess it should be me apologizing. Can you forgive me?”
She huffed and looked down at her tea. “You never needed forgiving, honey. Never.”
“I think I do. I left as a way to survive. I think at some point staying away, staying so separate, was a way of punishing myself for wanting something else. And by the time I’d gotten over that, I didn’t know how to fix things.”
She reached for me. “But now you have. It won’t be perfect, but look at last night. Look at this right here.” She shook me where she held onto my hand.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done. Thanks for standing by me even when I couldn’t be here.”
She sniffed and cleared her throat. “Always, my son. Always.”
We chatted a while longer and finished our tea, and before I left, she hugged me tight. “Welcome home, Wilder.”
She’d said it before that first time she saw me when I’d moved back, but the significance wasn’t lost on me. I’d physically been home a while, but now, at the risk of sounding thoroughly therapized, I’d come home emotionally, too.
The time finally came to leave for Sarah’s. The heavy clouds that’d settled over Silver Ridge Peak and its sisters finally broke open just as I got halfway to her, and by the time I reached her apartment complex and parked, it had turned to near downpour. We needed the rain to help with summer fire danger so no one in the area would begrudge the precipitation, but it fully hampered my plans for us to walk into town together holding hands. At least I’d brought my car in the first place and didn’t have to run get it.
“Hey! Come in, quick!” Sarah said, laughing as I bolted in the door, and she shut it behind me. “It’s insane out there!”
“Bottom dropped out. I don’t think we should walk.”
She bit her lip, and her blue eyes caught mine. “How would you feel if we ordered in? I made some appetizers and thought we could get delivery and just hang out here.”
Yes. Yes please. Always yes.Did she need to ask? I wanted to be in her space. I hadn’t been inside her apartment and seen what her taste was like now. I hadn’t been close to her enough, and I couldn’t be all that close to her at a restaurant. This was far better than going out, especially on a night like this.
“Sounds perfect.”
Her smiled brightened, then faded a touch.
“What?”
Her gaze swept around the room quickly before she met my eyes again. “I’m not sure if I’m allowed to ask, but I’ve been going crazy wondering how last night went. I don’t want to upset you, though.”
I closed the distance between us and gently grasped her shoulders, ducking my head to say the long overdue words. “You can ask me anything. Always. But before you do, I have to apologize for being such a jerk yesterday. I shouldn’t have said anything about your folks. I know it’s complex.”
She swallowed and nodded, hands holding onto my shirt on either side of my rib cage. “Thank you. It is complex, and I’m almost always defensive about it because it’s still a tender subject. It’s ongoing, but I’m proud of the progress.”
I nodded, understanding that completely. “I get it. Not with my family so much as just… figuring out what life is like now and how to be here.” I groaned at my poor wording. “That sounds stupid, but it’s fairly accurate.”
She grinned. “It’s not stupid. I know what you mean. I was stuck in so many ways before, and over the last year I’ve been learning a lot about myself. Just the distance from my parents and the places and people that were entrenched in my life has given me space to figure myself out. But some of that is still coming to terms with the choices I did and didn’t make.”
I stepped closer, hating the regret in her eyes. “What I mostly wanted to say yesterday but failed to was that you are amazing. If your parents aren’t respecting you, screw ’em. If they’re great and you want to go visit and that’s the right choice for you, then do that. Whatever it is, I support you.”
She yanked on my shirt as she stepped into me, rising to her toes to kiss me in a soft, sweet press. “I support you, too.”
More than happy to prolong this proximity, I kissed her this time—lingering and slow. We had all night, and nothing about the words we’d just exchanged should’ve caused the urgency now shuddering through my limbs. I wouldn’t push her or anything between us, no.
But I would happily take anything she would give, and Sarah seemed dead set on giving me kiss after kiss that drove my logic right out into the rain. Her hands slipped under my shirt at my waist, and her cool skin pressing against my overheating body felt like heaven. She gasped at the connection of her hands to my sides, and her thumbs swept over the ridges of my abdominal muscles.
“How?” she asked between kisses, pulling back to let her ravenous eyes rake over my face before she returned to steal another kiss.
“How does it feel this good to kiss you?” I asked, lips tracking along her jaw and down her neck.
“No. I—w-what?”
