Page 74 of Almost Home
I pulled back to see her eyes flutter open and pin me. A look so familiar and yet something I’d never seen before had me pressing a kiss to her lips again before easing back more fully. “Let’s eat some of those appetizers and order dinner. I want to tell you about last night.”
And even though a little furrow notched between her brows, this was right. This wasbetter.That stutter and flash of desire I’d seen were sign enough she was as lost to the moment as I was. As good as every point of contact and moment of connection between us felt, we’d always done this. We’d always had the physical and it had been decadent and perfect before. Of course, we were kids, but Sarah and I had never been a childhood love story. We’d started our adulthood together, the beginning of facing reality in a way that never recedes. The lives we lived after each other—all of the messy years after—had begun with each other. The more time I spent with her, the more I learned about her, the more convinced of that I became.
And if that was true, then there was no rush to have everything right now—no reason to push past a steadier pace. We were older and wiser now, but the last time we did that, it’d come crumbling down so quickly, I’d never seen it coming. Age and wisdom might help, but some things couldn’t be avoided if you ran past all the warnings and logical benchmarks to keep them steady.
So we’d slow down. We didn’t have to race into things. We were working our way back to rightness together, and shouldn’t let our hands outpace our heads. She’d agree with me as soon as we had a moment to breathe, and in the end, it’d be better. This way, we’d have staying power. This time, we’d last.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-SEVEN
Sarah
We moved around each other a little awkwardly after he set me away so easily, and I did my level best not to feel hurt. Really, I tried.
But… had I done something wrong?
“This is really good,” he said after chewing a bite of the sundried tomato goat cheese.
“It’s from my favorite farmer’s market stall. The market just started back up today, and I was so glad to see them back. They have all kinds of cheeses. I tell them every time I visit that they need to open a gourmet cheese shop.”Aaaaaand stop talking! This man does not care about the cheese stall at the market!
But he nodded as he chewed another bite, then said, “That they should.”
We chatted about the farmer’s market for a bit—or, I should say, I babbled about it outwardly, while inwardly, I tried to identify what had made him stop kissing me. Certainly, his body language and intensity and thewayhe’d kissed me right up until he’d made space between us had seemed like we were both on track.
“Sarah?”
I shook myself from those musings. “Um, yes?”
“Did you want me to get the door?”
A blush threatened to creep into my cheeks. Had I missed the doorbell? Good grief, the man had addled my brain with his sincere apology and delicious kisses, and now I could hardly stay present for our conversation.
“I’ve got it. You pour us some more wine.” I forced my eyes away from his handsome face staring back at me with a look that said he was working a problem. And knowing Wilder, it was to figure out what the heck was going on in my head, because I was being a weirdo.
A minute later, I returned with our takeout, and we served ourselves and found our places at my two-person table. I’d thought about getting something bigger so I had more seating and space, which would mean I could eventually host girls’ nights, but a new table sat fairly far down on the list of priorities.
“Did you still want to tell me about last night?” I hadn’t wanted to push, but I very much wanted to hear about his time with his brothers. And since that’d been the topic that inspired him to break our kiss and back away, I wanted to dive in there and see what I could learn.
He finished his bite and seemed to be sifting through his mind for the right words. “It was good.”
I bit my lip to stop the laugh that wanted to worm its way out, but I couldn’t. It snuck out in a breathy chuckle, which immediately elicited a chagrined expression from him.
“I don’t mean to laugh. You just…”Drive me insane in the best way.But I wouldn’t say that.
“Itwasgood though. In a lot of ways. I told them about my buddies who died. And we actually talked about our dad, which was unexpected but really kind of… healing.”
“I’m so glad. I’m sure they were so happy to be there with you.”
One brow flared up. “I don’t know abouthappybecause the night was pretty somber, but it felt good to be with them. I realized how my habit of isolating myself from them while I lived away had translated to things like not talking to them about anything real, even stuff between each other like missing our dad or whatever. Things had been getting better, but I feel like it’s actively positive now instead of not negative, if that makes sense.”
“It does. I’m—” I swallowed the next words, but he pinned me with a look that said he wanted them. So, I complied. “I know I don’t have any right to say this, but I’m proud of you.”
He squinted as though to see me better but nodded. “I could say the same for you.”
I made apshhsound and waved that off. “I’m not sure there’s anything to say that about for me.”
He caught my waving hand and linked our fingers. “Don’t say that. You’ve made choices, good and bad like everyone. But you’re here, building a life for yourself based on what you want. I see that as eminently commendable and something I hope you are proud of.”
“I am. Honestly, I think that’s part of what made me mad yesterday.”
