Page 39 of Made for You
“That’s not—we’ll talk about that,” I said as she disappeared up the stairs. She’d played me like a fiddle, the mini con artist, and I couldn’t do anything but appreciate it.
I reheated some leftovers and ate them in a kind of daze, my mind replaying the conversation and teasing through every piece of information she’d let slip through her quips, and more so, those things she’d taken time to think about before saying.
She had this soft heart she didn’t want me to know about, like revealing it would make me love her less. Like if I knew she wanted me to be happy, it might bother me, or if she explained why it bothered her that I’d wait to date, I’d be mad. It had to stem from the way she’d grown up—feeling like a burden, and then ultimately, becoming one, or so she thought.
Having her here wasn’t a sacrifice, though what stuck between my ribs was the realization that I’d been thinking of it like that. Shame twisted around my heart and squeezed, a ratchet strap drawing tighter and tighter at that truth. I’d been thinking about waiting to start my own life, at least the part of it geared toward finding a partner and making a family beyond me and Ki, as a sacrifice.
I didn’t think I’d actually consciously thought of it like that, but there it was—the ugly truth. Kiley had seen it and called me on it, and though I hated that she had a reason to, she’d given me a gift tonight.
She’d made me see myself without spin, and she’d given me permission to do something I didn’t realize I’d needed her go-ahead for until she’d given it.
Her blessing.
And she’d given it, even if it’d come in a joking way, and even if it’d ended with a spin that made it seem like all she was after was more timewithoutme.
Finally, my thoughts shifted back to Nikki. It’d been an effort not to let my mind and body sink back into the memory of her warm body, her lips, the way her breath caught, and how good she felt in every way. I’d held it off as long as I could, but as I sank onto the side of my bed and flopped back onto the soft comforter, I cut the leash.
Her hands on my shoulders, the back of my neck, in my hair. Her mouth responding to mine, opening for me when I demanded and answering every press with one of her own. She’d wanted the contact, wanted me close, as much as I’d wanted her.
But had she felt it?
Had she been thunder-struck by the realization like I had?
I’d only heard of things like this happening. It’d become a fable of sorts, a kind of lore passed down in dark times to give us hope.
Someone had whispered of it on a mission in the black of night while we waited without comms to infiltrate an enemy compound. We’d arrived at dusk and had to sit for hours until the dead of night, and he’d told our team about the legend of the operator’s love match. I’d been annoyed, had only half-listened as he spouted some story about how the operators who were pure of heart always found their soul mate. It’d been a throwaway in my mind at the time.
I hadn’t believed it until I’d seen Wilder and Sarah, though even then, they’d already had a history, a story that needed an ending, and I’d assumed it was that.
But when my lips touched Nikki’s, something cosmic shifted into place. I’d never thought about stars aligning or fates at work, but this felt so unbelievablyorchestrated, so completely full of magic and purpose and rightness, I believed.
I’d found my soul mate, and now, I just needed her to recognize it.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Nikki
Gram sat nestled into her favorite chair in the living room by the time I dragged myself out of bed the next morning. I’d lain awake for hours turning over every minute of my time here, and especially the time just before I’d gotten in bed. Any hope of using those late-night hours to make progress on the game had fallen by the wayside after that kiss.
“You look like you’ve been on a journey.” Her brows arched high as she sipped her coffee.
I plodded into the kitchen, legs leaden, and poured myself some of that very necessary caffeine. “I think I traveled a thousand miles in my head last night.”
Her gaze tracked me as I moved to the couch and got situated, alternately clutching the almost too-hot mug to me and taking sips. All the thinking I’d done last night had turned my mind to mush.
Or maybe that had been Bruce Camden busting the basic algorithm of my being.Yeah, either way.
“Did you make new friends? Those girls are lovely.”
For some reason, this irked me. “How do you even know them?”
“I see Dove at the clinic, and she and Catherine both have grandmothers about my age and we’re friends. But you forget that I’ve lived here nearly all my life, and I know most everyone who was here before the boom.”
“Boom?”
She grinned. “A few years back, we had a boom. It’s continued to this day. There were a few factors. First, the state opened a road they’d previously closed, thereby making the commute from Salt Lake City Airport about half of what it was. Second, Jonas Bauer moved in and took the reins on the resort and ended up expanding it, though it was a bit of a battle. And third, Julian Grenier partnered with the little Morrison boy to start the neighborhood where all the celebrities live now.”
A guffaw tripped out. I couldn’t recall ever making that sound, but the way she’d saidthe little Morrison boyas though Jamie Morris was an eight-year-old playing in the front yard instead of the grown world-renowned rock star deserved the response.
