Page 52 of Made for You
Her words were soft and low. Intimate. She released my hand and let my head lean against her stomach, then sifted her fingers into my hair, nails scraping lightly along my scalp.
We stayed like that for a few minutes, me resting against her, literally leaning on her as the ache in my chest dulled by degrees, her hands sifting through the strands of my hair until I pulled back and tilted my chin up. She held me there, supporting the back of my head and looking down at me like she cared.
Maybe I should’ve been embarrassed by how wordless I’d been tonight. I wasn’t introverted, and this was a woman I wanted to spend time with, get to know more every minute, and yet I couldn’t apologize for this.This, evidently, was who I was now.
“I am worried. I don’t want her to hurt any more than she already has.”
She moved to cup my face, her palms gentle at my jaw. “You can’t keep her from pain indefinitely. It’s part of the human experience. But it’s wonderful you want to try—that you’re working on ways to minimize it for her.”
She traced one of my eyebrows with the pad of her index finger, then moved to the other. I could hardly parse out enough of my thoughts to speak, but I managed it after a moment.
“Will you sit with me a while?” That, at least, came through clearly.
Her face softened and she nodded, then bent to press a soft kiss onto my lips. It was so unlike every other time—no heat or intention, no destination or promise. This kiss simply pressed her to me, reminding me she was here with me. It let me know she’d be here, unequivocally, my gut said, and it made me recall another encounter in this very yard between us, when my world had tilted on its axis thanks to her refreshing honesty.
“Of course.”
I leaned back and welcomed her, inching back on the chaise lounge as she found her place next to me. She nestled into my side, and I curled my arm around her. “This okay?”
She gave me a small smile in the dim light and pressed another kiss to my cheek. “Of course.”
Her being here didn’t solve any problems. It did nothing to change the situation with Carl or to help Kiley decide what she wanted. It didn’t take away the potential pain this would cause Kiley or give me clarity on what, exactly, my role was here.
But it settled the wild thing in me that’d been thrashing around for half the day, ramming into reason and logic and the perpetual fixer in me that wanted to just end thefeelingswith action.
It let that beast sit down and rest, lulled to a calm by knowing I wasn’t alone in this. And for as much support and love as I had from Wilder and Tristan and even the book club friends, I’d felt lonely to the point of desolation more than once in the last year. I’d felt it into the marrow of my bones.
Yet, here she was. Not prescribing answers or making suggestions. Not telling me how I should feel. Not trying to talk it through.
She simply sat with me, sharing her warmth and touch. Fingers woven with mine, head resting back against the chair next to mine. She was just here with me, for me.
And what I’d known for an improbably long time in my gut spoke undeniably in this darkness. There was no mistaking this moment for what it was—a challenge in my life as guardian over my sister, yes. But also the moment when I knew, irrevocably and completely, that my heart belonged to Nikki Hastings.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR
Nikki
Ihardly saw Bruce at work the next week.
At some point after one in the morning on Sunday night, I’d gotten up and pulled him to his feet. I’d kissed his temple and told him to get some sleep, sending him and his empty glass to bed. I’d hoped he would sleep.
Bruce was a talkative guy, smooth on his feet and quick with words. The dearth of conversation had told me just how heavily this situation weighed on him. I’d known it was something serious when he’d asked to postpone our date. I’d had no worries he might be backing out or ditching me—we were adults. We were friends. There would be no games like that if he’d changed his mind.
Seeing him so upset had been oddly good. Not that I wanted him to struggle, and I certainly didn’t want that for Kiley, but something about Bruce felt too good to be true. In a weird way, his being overwhelmed by what to do in an admittedly impossible situation brought him back down to earth for me.
That said, the next five days were a small form of torture. I’d see him in the morning, then not again the rest of the day sometimes. He had meetings and phone calls with international companies and check-ins with the guys overseas and off-campus meetings and so. much. going. on.
I was lucky to catch a glimpse of him during working hours, and at least two days this week, his truck hadn’t pulled in until well after eight. Not that I’d been spying. I hadn’t.I’m not.
But he’d texted on and off. Not during the workday, and somehow, I knew that was thanks to his wanting to respect the boss-employee relationship. Well, and because he likely had no time to even breathe let alone tap out texts to a woman he was thinking about dating.
He’d send something simple around nine every night. Just, “Hope you had a good day. See you tomorrow,” or “Two days until our date and I can’t wait.” Little things to let me know he was thinking about me even a fraction as much as I was him.
And then came the call.
Thursday night, not too long after he’d sent the message about two days, he’d called. Thankfully, I knew he wasn’t a psychopath and answered, praying this call wasn’t coming for a similar reason as our only other one, which had come last weekend when he’d needed to cancel.
“Everything okay?” I asked, trying to sound less nervous and more breezy.Mission failed.
