Page 60 of Made for You
“You arenoteasy to leave. Anyone who leaves you is not only an idiot but obviously incapable of seeing how incredible you are.” I swore violently under my breath, then internally berated myself for using those words in front of her. I’d worked hard to clean up my language, and it was something we’d encouraged in Saint Security—coming out of two decades of military life, the old habit died hard.
“Thenwhy?Mom. My dad. My friends back in North Carolina. Now Marcus and…” She sucked in a breath, pressed her lips into a wobbly line.
My mind had taken on a muffled aspect, almost like how sound mutes after a flash-bang. Disorienting and gone, then distant, this moment had detonated on me.
But I had to know. I had to press into this, though so much of me wanted to tell her the truth—that I didn’t know why people were so awful and there’d never be any explaining why our mom had failed us both in different ways. There would never be a good enough answer to take away this ache in her, and I hated that more than I’d ever hated anything.
“And?” my voice scraped out.
Her lips quivered with emotion as she whispered, “And you.”
I’d never been shot. Other injuries, sure. But this, this…
“No. Ki. I’m never leaving you. I will nevereverleave you. The reaper could walk in here now and I’d wrestle his scythe from his cold dead hands and beat him back until he surrendered. Until he understood what I need you to.” I cupped her face and made her look at me, those pained, devastated eyes spearing me anew. I spoke slowly, every ounce of veracity and love for her pouring into each syllable. “I. Will. Not. Leave. You.”
Her brow pinched and she took it in—my words, my tone, the ferocity of everything in me crying out to her to believe this. To believe that she was loved and worthy of so much more than she’d been given in this life.
“It’s okay if you do, you know. You and Nikki, maybe you’ll want privacy, and—”
“No. I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want you, too. It’s not a question. Not an issue. You will always have a place with me. I alwayswantyou with me. Do you understand?”
Her lashes fluttered, but she nodded.
I huffed, unconvinced yet knowing I couldn’t force her into knowing something her life had taught her the opposite of. “We’ll work on it. We’llkeepworking on it, okay?”
She nodded again, then sniffed. Something about her glance toward her bed, toward her phone, reminded me of where all of this had started.
“And I know this is probably the big brother talking, but I have to say if he doesn’t get how lucky he is to be with you, then maybe it is a good time for a break.”
She sighed, a watery, defeated sound. “It’s not that. It’s… he said I’m too closed off, or something.” She mumbled the last bit.
I stifled a small smile at her eye roll, almost like she knew in some way he was right but was annoyed to have to admit it now.
“Well, I can’t imagine that…”
She huffed and shoved my shoulder, a begrudging smile peeking out.
Relief hit strong and pure, like that first drink of coffee after a bad night’s sleep. There she was, the girl who could see herself right. Who could see her imperfections, yes, but who got that he wasn’t leaving because she wasn’t worth being with. He was asking formoreof her.
That little fathead better not be asking for too much, or he’d hear from me…
I stood, giving her space. “You know, if you want to open up to him, give it a try. As much as it pains me to admit, he seems like a good kid. But Ki, if you don’t want to, then don’t. Only give him as much as you’re comfortable with…”
I cringed, the words clanging in my head. She waited, eyes brighter now, and I cleared my throat. “But not like,give. Just like, talk to him more, open up a little. But if he’s pressuring you about physical stuff, you send him to me and—”
“Okay, that’s enough of the sibling heart-to-heart for one night.” She rolled her eyes, though the soft look she gave me told me thank you. Or at least, I’d snatch that expression and tuck it away as such.
I waved a hand, all casual, not-completely-in-over-his-head brother, and sauntered out of her room. “Fine, fine. But he better know if he—”
“Got it! Thanks, Boo! Night night!”
Her door shut practically in my face, and I laughed, shaking my head and moving down the hallway to my own room, where I sank to the bed and just stared at the ceiling, the gravity of the day and all its implications flooding me.
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
Nikki
At nine the day after my first official date with Bruce, Rosie bustled out of her room dressed to the nines in burnt orange and gold with a set of cerulean flats and matching handmade jewelry that somehow worked in a way I wasn’t sure any other human could pull off.
