Page 71 of Made for You
She closed in on me, pressing a warm hand into my cheek. “You made the best decision you could at the time. And I didn’t try to stop you, because it wasn’t the wrong one. In fact, I think staying here would’ve been wrong in a lot of ways. You needed to forge your own path on your own terms. You needed to be able to choose being off on your own instead of being forced into it.”
I nodded, the truth of her statements resounding through my head. That was exactly it. I’d never chosen to be alone. My parents had died and left me alone. I’d been moved from foster home to foster home, essentially abandoned each time I moved. I’d been left and left, and I needed to finally be the one tochooseto leave.
“I just wish I hadn’t needed that. I feel like I’ve lost a decade of time with you.” The words squeezed out of a tightening throat, emotion cinching it closed.
She shook her head slowly, so calm. “No, my love. We’ve talked. We’ve visited. I may not have had as much of you as I would’ve wanted, but that’s life. And now you’re here, and I sincerely hope we’ve got many more years together.”
The brutal hit of fear thinking we mightnotlanced through me, but I nodded, knowing I hoped so much for the same. “Me, too. Thank you for asking me to come, even if it was a sneaky way to get me to take your house.”
She grinned, entirely pleased with herself. “My pleasure. Plus, it wasn’t just for that. It was also to get you near Bruce.” She winked.
My mouth dropped open. “Not even going to deny the matchmaking?”
She just shrugged. “Why? It’s going swimmingly, from what I’ve seen. The man would propose tomorrow if he thought you’d say yes. Luckily, he’s too smart to rush you.”
Her words sobered me, and before I could check myself, the words sprang free. “Really? You think he’s that serious?”
She studied me. “You don’t?”
I started to say no, or I didn’t know, but could I even pretend I didn’t? He’d been so forthright and clear, so completely sure of things. Steady. And I’d been right there with him—at least, I’d willed myself to be. Hearing her say it had shocked me, but not the thought of a life with him.
“I guess I do. I just…” I wasn’t sure I knew how to verbalize the confusing clutch of emotion and reaction hitting when I stopped to really think about things with him.
She took me by the shoulders and pinned me with her gaze. “I won’t tell you how you feel or what you want. And I want to be very clear. I love Bruce, I truly do, and I love Kiley, butyouare my blood. If you decided to never speak to the man again, I might question why, but I wouldn’t fault you for not moving ahead with him for whatever reason.Youget to choose. He is a man who will stick with you, if it’s right between you, but if it’s not? That’s okay.”
I dipped my chin, showing I understood. Showing I heard her, and I did. And the truth inching its way closer to my heart struck its chord louder than ever. The theorem floating around, waiting to see where all of this would go… it didn’t need anything else. The proof had been written, the theorem proved, and there it was.
A man like Bruce would love his woman, his future wife, like that—he’d stick. But the fear I’d battled for a lifetime cropped up, right on schedule.
“What if I don’t know how to do that for him?” I said it so quietly, I wasn’t sure she actually heard me.
She squeezed me gently, then pulled me in for a hug. When we stepped back, she had a soft smile on her face. “If you choose to, honey, then you will. There is nothing you can’t do if you decide on it.”
I chuckled, her unwavering faith in me almost painful at this point. I didn’t want to be sobbing as I left, and I knew she wouldn’t want to part on a sad note even if I would be back in twelve hours to help her get settled. So I shifted gears and took her with me.
“Thank you, Gram, truly. Now, should I be worried you’re practically living with your boyfriend after only knowing him a few months?”
* * *
I’d just finished showering and changing into my comfy clothes when the knock came. My heart leapt, and I didn’t even pretend not to run on tiptoes to the door. When I opened it, Bruce stood there like the paragon of male beauty he was.Pythagorean theorem, he’s beautiful.
“Hello, neighbor.”
I bit my lip, savoring the rich rumble of his voice. “Why, hello.”
He held up a bag. “I hope this isn’t presumptuous, but I thought you could use some company.”
My heart did a complex tumbling pass across my chest. I should really probably get that looked at. “I am always glad for your company.”
Other than Rosie, I didn’t think I’d ever actually felt this way. I’d cared about friends and people I’d dated, but I hadn’t ever felt this potent mix of relief and expectation when I was around someone. And not like Bruce had to do or say something amazing to keep me interested—simply being around him was something to look forward to.
A few minutes later, we’d set up clamshells of pie from Diner, and I’d poured him a glass of wine and grabbed forks for us. He sat next to me on the couch, socked feet looking startlingly pleasing on my rug.
Myrug. I didn’t like the thought, and yet, I’d seen the look of relief in Gram’s eyes. She’d miss this place, but it felt like she’d been planning this and preparing for the move for a while now. Bruce’s large hand on my thigh pulled me from those worries.
“Do you want to talk about today?”
I finished chewing a slice of the apple pie I’d just tasted—tart-sweet apples and cinnamon and buttery crust. “We can. I think I’m still processing it. I guess that’ll take a while.”
