Page 73 of Made for You
I reveled in the crease in her cheeks bracketing her smile and the way her eyes lit up. She was gorgeous and she was mine.Mine.I’d never felt it for anyone else, not ever, but sitting here, laughing together before we took this step, it was written on the stone of my heart, and no amount of time would ever wash it away.
And I needed her to understand that. Maybe we wouldn’t sayallthe words now, but I desperately needed to make sure we were on the same page. I’d learned both in my professional and personal life how assuming often led to disaster. Her “substantial” feelings for me might simply be that she felt anything at all in my direction, while I was ready to tattoo her name across my chest and put a ring on her finger.
Okay, well, at least one of those things.
Well, in truth, both.
So I pressed her hands between mine, stilling my own laughter and sobering a bit. “But…”
That did it. She straightened and her face fell. “But?”
Nerves clawed at me, but I pushed them away. No amount of anxiety would keep me from honesty with her. “I need you to understand that for me, this means something. It meanseverything, honestly.I know the words will come eventually, but I have to make sure you know you’re it for me, Nik. And I don’t want to stay and assume we’re on the same page if you’re not at least in the same book.”
Her gaze stayed hooked into mine and she nodded. “I—I understand.”
I swallowed, waiting. Internally begging her to say more, to sayanythingto appease my need for more of her. But looking at the cruel mix of desire and fear in her eyes, I could see that any more words would be too much. It would break this moment wide open and potentially push her too far, too soon. So I nodded, accepting what she gave and not asking for more.
It would come.
I had to believe it would come.
Her eyes fell to my mouth, her lips parting and spearing through the ache. I wanted her words but right now, I neededher—her touch, her body against me. I needed to show her the page, let her read the chapter, and look forward to writing the ending together.
* * *
Waking next to Nikki felt like something out of a dream, except I’d never had a dream this good. Nothing that would compare to the last twelve hours we’d spent together, some restful and some far from it and absolutely more than I’d hoped for when I’d showed up with pie last night after Kiley went to her friend’s for an overnight, ready to comfort Nikki and help her not feel so alone.
But like she had every day since I’d met her, Nikki kept me guessing.
In an easier version of this story, she would’ve laid out her feelings right there before we made love. I wanted to see them in her eyes, feel them in her touch, but she couldn’t say them.
It hurt. Man, but it did, because I was ready to fall to my knees and beg her for them. Fortunately, I had a brain and it read the signs she was giving me. She needed a little more time, and I wanted to give it to her. Wehadtime, after all. She was here and planning to stay. I didn’t like thinking about what would happen at the end of the year when she moved over to the accountancy and away from Saint, but we’d handle it. Together.
I hope it’ll be together.
The problem with this heart of mine was that once someone owned it, they owned it. I didn’t give it all that freely, but once given, I’d never have it back. Wilder knew it, Kiley was learning, and Nikki… I had to believe she’d know it eventually, too.
I was a patient man. I could be patient for her.
“Morning,” she said, eyes still closed on the pillow next to mine. Or, hers, but which had become mine last night.
“Morning. How’d you sleep?” She’d warned me she didn’t often sleep very long. I could relate, though from what she described, I got more than she did.
Her eyes finally opened, the glorious light brown of them better than any view I could fathom.
“Very well. I worked on my game a bit.”
I startled at that. “You did? I didn’t hear you.”
She grinned, the genuine smile sending my stomach straight to my toes. “You were out cold.”
“I’m sorry. I would’ve kept you company.” I didn’t love the idea that I’d slept through her waking and doing whatever she needed to, though more than anything, it surprised me. I didn’t often sleep so soundly.
She ran her fingers through my hair and tugged, sending a sense-memory of the night before crashing through me. “I’m not sure I would’ve gotten much done if you’d been awake.”
Heat filled the space between us, and the impulse to haul her into my arms and make love to her again hit me like a slap, but she chuckled and pressed a lightning-quick kiss to my lips.
“I don’t think—”
