Page 77 of Made for You
“Good. Then that’s what you need—at least to start. No one’s saying you have to go propose today. But let it unfold. Let yourself be fully known and loved. Let him know how you feel and see what happens.” She patted my hand and released it.
“I want to do that.” I swallowed. Exhaled. Shoved iron and pure will into my spine like I had for lesser challenges. “I can do that.” I huffed out the nerves banding around my chest and added, “I think.”
She chuckled. “You can. I have faith in you.”
Something about that hit me, and before censoring it, I asked, “Why? How can you have such faith when I left you?”
She gave me a soft smile that had my teeth gritting against tears.
“You came back, Nikki.”
I was already shaking my head. “Because it suited me. Just like my parents. I only came for you because it was in my best interest.”
There it was. The fear I barely dared speak aloud.
Her steady gaze didn’t waver, but her voice shook with vehemence when she spoke. “That’s a crock and you know it. You came because I asked. Yes, the timing worked. That was the only reason I asked because I never would’ve taken you from a life you loved. But I could’ve called years ago and asked and you would’ve come. I know that like I know the back of my hand. I know it the same way I know you probably have a piece of the sidewalk in your pocket right now.”
My hand had migrated to it, pressing it against my leg from the outside of my jeans pocket even as surprise hit that she knew about it. “What if you’re wrong? What if I hurt them?”
More than the fear of trying for myself and failing, more than the terror of him leaving me, it was this. The fear that I’d hurt Bruce or Kiley. That somehow, my inexperience and the blood of my parents flowing in my veins might sabotage anything good. I’d never allowed myself to consciously admit that, but there it was, out for both of us to see plain as day.
“That’s for them to decide. Only they can tell you whether you’re worth the risk in their minds, but let me make one thing clear. You are worthy of love, Nikki, and you are capable of great love. In fact, I believe you, like all of us, were made for it. Don’t let your past or your big brain fool you on that count.”
She grinned when I chuckled reluctantly, silently praying I could do that.
“I’ll do my best.”
She nodded, approving. “Well, then, I think we can consider it done.”
CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE
Bruce
Oak, Beast, Barbie, Doc, and even Stone, all stood with weapons on their hips, hands itching to draw. I’d forbidden them to until we knew what we were up against. We weren’t on a mission in another country, and civilians, even highly trained former operators, couldn’t just go storming into a hotel room with weapons drawn. No better way to get someone killed.
Carl might’ve taken Kiley, but I had to assume he didn’t want her dead. That’d been real hurt underneath all that fury the other day—he’d thought he’d made progress with the coffee encounter, apparently, but Ki still had reservations. Of course she had. But he’d been both enraged and upset. He’d handled it all wrong, but I’d seen the gamut of human emotions play on faces in the course of my life and, unless all those senses were failing me now, I didn’t think he wanted to harm her.
What hedidwant with her, we’d find out soon enough, but bulldozing in without much awareness wouldn’t do us any good.
I knocked on the motel door, adrenaline firing through my veins so much, it should’ve had me shaking if I hadn’t trained for decades to maintain calm in situations just like this.
Except no. There’d never been a situation like this. We’d spent an hour combing through Silverton, checking every business. We’d called the police once Marcus had reached all her friends and they, too, had attempted to help by suggesting places she might be. Ultimately, she was nowhere.
Her phone had to have been off, but just as I was about to lose it, we got a ping on her cell. She must’ve turned it on, and we tracked her thanks to the location sharing I had for her—right to where we’d planned to go next. I hoped she saw I was coming for her—that we’d be there soon.
He’d taken her an hour down the canyon to a motel. The dive of a place Carl had been holed up in for weeks now and that Wilder had tracked down in a half hour after Carl’s last ill-advised visit to town, somehow flouting his bail and setting himself up for a nice little trip back to jail.
“Open up, Carl. Let me see that Kiley’s okay,” I said loud enough they had to be able to hear me through the door.
After another minute and another knock, but before I threatened to bust it down, Carl pulled it open. His eyes were red rimmed, and he had that strung-out look I’d seen too many times to count. He hadn’t been high the last time I’d seen him, but no surprise he’d fallen off the wagon.
“Get outta here, Camden. I don’t need you meddling in my family.” He spat at my feet yet again. Such a charming signature move.
“Carl, I need to see Kiley. Once I see that she’s okay and you let her come out here, then we’ll talk about what you need.”
An ignorant observer might’ve heard the calm in my voice and thought Iwascalm. That my words meant I didn’t have violence coursing through my veins.
That observer would be an idiot.
