Page 18 of Fighting For You
How did she know anything about Beast when…wait.
Nikki’s head tilted as she studied me. “She knew Mrs. Rawlins. Rosie didn’t spend a ton of time with her lately because she hadn’t been well, but they all know each other over there, even between the retirement community and the nursing home side of things. Bruce and I go see Gram and Amir, and we often saw Beast coming or going. He was extremely devoted to her.”
Of course he was. He… he might’ve messed things up for me and I did still hate him for that, but one thing I knew down to the marrow of my bones was that Beast was a devoted grandson. More than I’d realized if he’d moved his grandmother here.
How had I missed that? How had I not realized she lived here, let alone that she’d passed? In this small community, there had to have been signs. Then again, I made it a part-time job to ignore his existence, to forget that my friends were his and my coworkers were his… I purposefully ignored any mention of him.
I was officially awful for not realizing any of this.
And so far, no mention of Mr. Rawlins, which probably meant he’d passed, too.
Oh, Jude.
Cue the flash flood of intense guilt.
Because I’d piled onto this man’s grief.
Yes, he was a jerk, but wasn’t he allowed to be? He just lost his grandmother and I’d… what? I’d accused him and insulted him. It didn’t matter that the words I said felt true—weretrue—I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have dumped that on him when he was struggling. I didn’tknowit, but wasn’t I a trained operator? Hadn’t I built a career on being observant?
Thinking back on the last few months, he had been particularly grunty. Even less verbal. And these last few weeks… His eyes had been literally darker, not because of some new infestation of broody evil, but because he hadn’t been sleeping—he’d had thick smudges under his eyes. The fact that he’d taken the out-of-town job should’ve tipped me off to something major in his life, shouldn’t it?
All the righteous indignation I’d spewed had emptied me of the packed-full feeling I’d had around him for so long and now… there was space for nuance. Too much space to ignore how much damage I’d just done.
“I’m a horrible human being.”
“No, you’re not. You guys have history, and it came to a boiling point. I would guess if you’d known what was going on, you wouldn’t have said any of that, even if you’ve wanted to for a while.” Jo’s words were filled with compassion.
I didn’t deserve them. And I’d need to figure this out.
There was no going back to the version of me who saw him as an angry beast of a man and nothing else. I couldn’tpretend my actions were justified when, clearly, I’d hurt someone who was already hurting.
Maybe I was giving too much credence to our past friendship or my hope that I was a decent human being, but I couldn’t keep on like this. I’d chosen to ignore someone’s pain, then I’d piled on top of it. I didn’t want to be that person… I wouldn’t. It didn’t mean we’d be friends again, but I wouldn’t pretend he was just an inhuman beast who only served himself.
He’d doted on his grandparents, and he’d lost them.
Whatever version of a heart he had, it must be broken. No one deserved to go through this.
Somehow, I needed to fix this.
CHAPTER TEN
Jude
Isettled Bones into his bed on the corner of the cabin’s living room couch. He kneaded the padding, then curled around himself, tail flicking, before giving me his vengeful eye.
“I know. How dare I disturb your slumber.” I patted his head, which he shrank from, and I let him be despite the niggling desire to pester him just to teach him a lesson.
Sometimes, cats needed to be bothered. That was why they adopted people. That’s what Omi used to say, and I’d taken it to heart.
A pang sliced through me. Familiar, and maybe slightly less jagged than they’d been since?—
Since Omi passed.
A month ago.
Had it only been a month?
Had it already been amonth?
