Page 50 of Fighting For You
The night died down and I felt the shift in me. I couldn’t focus on my friends or the frenetic energy pulsing in the bar or town. I couldn’t keep my mind on the conversation here or make idle small talk with the Blackthorne team after discovering Kurt was a central part of it and feeling him haunt whatever corner of the bar I studiously kept my attention from.
So I left a little early, promising I’d see them all soon, and promising myself I’d confront Beast with full honesty after the gala. We’d planned on it, and I’d tried to keep my distance because I couldn’t find the right words. For a woman who was fairly even-keeled, I couldn’t find a middle ground between angry and hurt. I just ping-ponged between them and felt. Felt.Felt.
It was exhausting, but soon, work would get too busy to think about anything else. And the next time I had a break, I’d get answers from Beast and finally put all of this to bed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Jude
The gala wound down and the internal clock that’d started ticking when Jess told me we’d talk after the event grew louder.
Tick.
Tick.
Maybe I was actually losing my mind because I could’ve sworn I was actually hearing the sound. My blood pressure had been high, focus had been a struggle, and any time I caught a glimpse of her in her black suit, my chest tightened.
For the most part, I hadn’t seen her. She’d been assigned to Jack McKean and had also done some building and event security. We were all working long hours and the fact that we both had an open window this evening felt as close to serendipitous as it possibly could be.
Tonight, we’d have it out. She was angry with me—stillsnapping whenever we interacted despite the apparently fleeting peace we’d struck at the cabin.
And evidently, she didn’t appreciate my admission of past feelings. Depending on what questions she asked tonight, she’d be even more unhappy.
But I’d said she could ask me anything she wanted, and I’d meant it. I didn’t want this useless hatred between us anymore. I wasn’t going to give it back to her if she continued to dole it out—if she needed to keep loathing me to protect herself. And there was no mistaking that part of the narrative she’d spun these last few years was exactly that—a way to protect herself.
“Hey, I’m going to sweep one time, then I’ll relieve you,” Kenny said, full of energy despite the late hour.
I nodded. Jess wouldn’t be relieved for another twenty minutes so I was in no rush.
“Damn, she can wear a suit, can’t she?”
Kurt’s voice cut into the far more pleasant live jazz band playing at the far end of the ballroom, his attention pinned on Jess, who’d just walked into my sightline with McKean.
I didn’t comment because yes, she could, but no, I wasn’t about to talk to him about it.
“I can see you haven’t learned to speak any better than you used to.” He chuckled like he was funny.
When I stayed quiet long enough, he walked away. In years gone by, he would’ve kept talking and trying to provoke me into responding, but maybe he sensed nothing he could say would do that now, or maybe he’d actually matured.
When I saw him cast a sly smile to a very young woman, I had the confirmation that no, he had not.
“Everything’s looking good. Have a good night, man. I’ll see you bright and early?” Kenny patted my back.
I dipped my chin.
He lowered his voice and his eyes shifted from side to side like he was checking we didn’t have an audience. “And it’s happening now?”
I nodded again.
With one more pat, he sent me off. “Be brave. Be all the beast we know and love but, like, for telling her how you feel.”
I cut him a scowl and made my way to the ballroom entrance. She’d likely be handing Jack off to whoever was replacing her—I couldn’t recall but I thought maybe Bruce was on him since they had worked together before.
After a moment in the bathroom to give myself a few seconds of quiet, I washed my hands, then entered the stylish lounge filled with polished wood and red leather club chairs and a stage where a man strummed a guitar and a woman sang.
My heart skipped when I saw Jess at the end of the bar, already seated. She’d taken off her jacket and wore a sparkly strapless black top that showed off her toned shoulders and a rattling amount of her back.
Damn, she’s gorgeous.
