Page 53 of Right With You
What if we didn’t stop everything once my family left? What if we let ourselves linger over each other, take our time and see if, maybe, out of this foolish choice of mine, something good might emerge?
Seeing Aurelie and Michele had a way of reminding me of both what our father had lost and how we’d not only mourned our mother but the loss ofhimbecause he’d completely unraveled when she passed, but also making me long.
Seeing Beast and Jess did this. Watching Bruce and Nikki, Tristan and Winnie, Jo and Adam, Wilder and Sarah, the Washingtons, and even the glimpses of Liz and Kenny I’d gotten… witnessing their love had needled into me and made me want.
I’d crushed the impulse, having promised myself a long time ago I wasn’t going to fall prey to the kind of agony I’d watched ruin my father. Because I knew I was like him, totally his son where matters of the heart were concerned. We Devereaux men fell and fell hard—love was all or nothing, life or death, ecstasy or agony. No in between. We didn’t do that, didn’t know how to.
Now I’d set myself up with a woman I’d thought was untouchable, but was she? Was she really? The confusing mix of hope and fear mingled in me and spread out to each of my limbs.
There it was again, a pang of something like longing formoreand yet, a pain knuckling against the bones of my sternum. A harsh, vivid feeling attempting to force my face into the reality that my grandfather not only didn’t care for my choices but didn’t know me. And neither did my father. And while I was lying to her, neither did my sister.
But I was working toward a place where at least my grandfather would have a chance to, if he wanted to take it. Losing my maternal grandmother had reminded me he was all I had left of that generation. He wouldn’t be around forever. I wanted to repair this with him, to have something of a relationship before his time was gone. I hoped he would, but after tonight, it seemed hard to imagine. Aurelie would, for sure, once all this was over.
That maybe, right now, the person who was coming to know me in the purest sense might be Elise.
In fact, itwasElise. She’d seen me grapple with my grandfather, my past, my service, and even the parts of me I was working to make peace with. She could laugh with me, then at me when I was being an ass. She was a spring breeze and morning sun and every little wildflower that would soon bloom in the fields at the base of Silver Ridge Peak.
I didn’t want to think of that for another second and thankfully, there were more immediate matters to attend to.
Inside, we both went to the bedroom to change clothes, and my pulse quickened the instant we both stood there realizing this was a shared space.
Then I cleared my throat and grabbed some clothes from the dresser. “I’ll change in the bathroom—think I’ll grab a quick shower. Take your time.”
“Could you help?” she asked, turning and lifting her hair.
My throat convulsively swallowed. “Of course.”
Tugging at the little zipper, I slid it down over the first ridge of her spine, then the next, down between her shoulder blades and all the way to her lower back. The dress gaped just enough for me to see inches of her smooth skin uninterrupted by anything all the way down to a glimpse of black lace toward the bottom, the fine curves and lines of her bones and skin and a constellation of freckles so beautiful I had to forcibly keep myself from pressing my lips to each one.
“Voilà,” I said, clearing my throat and turning instantly toward the door for fear of losing my grip on logic.
Inside the bathroom with the door firmly closed instead of wedged open like I’d momentarily imagined doing, I shrugged out of my suit and made quick work of a shower. No allowing myself any time to think about Elise right outside slipping out of that gorgeous black dress, or what more hid underneath the fabric.
What I’d seen was beautiful, but it was no surprise. Everything about Elise was beautiful, from, yes, her physical appearance, to the way she considered others. Her work ethic, her drive, her passion for her store and the quality of her product but also her friends.
Her kiss. Now that was a beautiful thing, too.
I scrubbed a towel over my hair to dry it and took a moment to focus before I left the bathroom. At some point, Aurelie and Michele would be back. We still needed to have something to eat, and I had another long day tomorrow before the gala. Another evening seated next to my grandfather and Odette since he’d bought a table, and then we’d be free.
“What’s wrong?” Elise asked as she opened the fridge and pulled a carton of eggs out.
“I—” My mouth shut as I searched for words. I couldn’t tell her how I’d wanted her to join me in the shower, or how I’d wanted to slip my hands into that dress and—no. That would do nothing to help the situation.
“My grandfather only sees me as someone who’s failed his checklist. He’s got a standard I haven’t lived up to, and while I’ve chosen not to, it hurts. He wasn’t always so hard with us—exacting in some ways, yes, but he was… at one point, he was simplyGrand-père,too. I fear I’ve only made that version of him disappear faster.”
She rinsed her hands and rounded the counter to look me in the eye and revealing fire in her own gaze.
“I know you’ve not been perfect, but you’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
I grumbled pathetically. “I’ve given myself more credit than he ever will.”
“I can imagine wanting him to accept you, but please don’t diminish what you’ve done. You could’ve lived a life of incredible ease but instead, you chose to serve. And not just do a quick tour—you spent years in an elite unit doing… well, aside from breaking and entering, probably some important stuff, right? Getting bad guys and… saving people?”
Bon sang, this woman was adorable. “There were bad guys neutralized and yes, we saved people, too.”
That’d always been my favorite, and in some ways, my forte. Getting into a building covertly and saving someone before the bad guys ever knew andtheneliminating them? Even more fun.
“That matters. That’s honorable. And not only that, but you’re now part of a community. You’ve helped and protected some of my friends. You—you’ve made Jenna Halter feel safe! I mean, I don’t know that for sure, but I guess I assume if Bruce keeps assigning you to her, it means she thinks you do a decent job and she trusts you.”
