Page 78 of Right With You
Clearing away the tightness in my throat, I willed myself not to cry again.
“Uh, long story short, he figured out Callum was pressuring me about either selling the business to a donut chain out of Salt Lake, or getting back together with him? And he offered to help. I told him no. Without telling me, he did it anyway—he bought out Callum and now owns part of the business.”
Dove’s mouth opened, then snapped shut.
“I know it seems silly not to just accept his help, but that’s exactly how I got in this situation. I trusted someone—I let him in and he crushed me, Dove.” My voice whittled down into a whisper. “I couldn’t let Luc do that. Even though Luc is ten times—a hundred times the man Callum is. I can’t do it again. I can’t be under someone’s thumb financially.”
Dove nodded, her face full of compassion. “That makes perfect sense. It’s just… do you think that’s why he did it? Why Luc did?”
This was where things got twisted up in my gut. Because in my heart of hearts, the easy answer was no. Thinking of just Luc and how little he seemed to care about money or how much he appeared to be cautious of being like Callum, the answer rang out a clear and resounding no.
But… he’d lied. And the reason we’d gotten together for a fake engagement was all built on a lie to begin with. So why would I look at that evidence and pretend he was someone else?
Wasn’t that exactly what I’d done with Callum? Hadn’t I worked myself into the ground to convince myself he wasn’t being mean and controlling? That he wasn’t holding me a little too tight, being a little too clingy and aggressive?
Luc isn’t like that.
The words echoed through my mind, and I wanted to believe them. I wanted to reach out and grab them and stuff them into my chest and make them true.
“I don’t think it was the whole point for him, no. But I’m not sure if maybe it was part of it.” I hated those words, but I couldn’t look away from them. If I did, then I hadn’t changed a bit.
“Oh, my friend. I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks. I just feel…” I started to say I felt like I’d taken a step backward, but was that true? Was this like anything I’d been through with Callum? Luc had lied, and that wasn’t okay, but did it have to mean I couldn’t trust myself? Did it suddenly mean I’d become my mother, throwing myself at any wealthy man who gave me a second look, because a man who’d asked me to be his fake fiancée had lied and bought out my sole investor?
No. It didn’t mean that.
“You just feel?” Dove asked, gently, but not giving up on me either.
“I mean… heartbroken. Angry with him. But… I don’t think I’m angry with myself.” Tears welled in my eyes. “And I’m proud that I tried. That I let myself be with him like this, even if this moment feels crappy.”
“Yes.Yes.You’ve made huge strides, and he needs to make this right somehow, but it takes nothing away from what you’ve gained through the experience,” Dove said, right as the doorbell rang. Her gaze jumped to the door, and she held out a hand to me. “I’ll get it. You stay put.”
Since the entryway was basically a straight line down the hallway to the couch, I could see Luc’s dark eyes and hair when the much shorter Dove swung the door open. My heart leapt and everything in me wanted to talk to him.
“She’s here. She’s fine. But no, you can’t talk to her,” Dove said, raising her chin and setting one hand on her waist in a defiant pose right as I walked up and put a hand on her shoulder.
“It’s okay. Just give me a minute?”
She narrowed her eyes like I might be making a secret distress signal, then stepped back. I pulled the door closed behind me and crossed my arms, needing the reminder that no, I wasn’t going to go to him or hug him, even though insanely, that was what I most wanted right now.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want him having any leverage to hurt you.”
His voice was rough, like he’d lived a week without sleep between this moment and the hour or less since I’d last seen him. His hair was askew and somehow he looked sallow and more worried than I’d ever seen him.
“I told you I didn’t want your help. I know it might not make sense to you, but I didn’t want anyone else having leverage over me either.” He didn’t know the full extent of how my mom had looked for men to prop her up and how much I hated that was the legacy I had in her, but he knew a little.
His jaw ticked. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I wanted to help and it wasn’t right, but I just kept wondering, what would you have done? What was your alternative? Giving into him and selling the shop? Or letting him start dating you and hurting you again?”
The words came out harsh and his lips formed the closest thing to disgust I’d ever seen on his face.
“No. I wouldn’t ever be with him again. Believe it or not, I’ve been researching other options. An additional small business loan, and even a program through the convention and visitor’s bureau for local small shops. I—honestly, it doesn’t matter what I was going to do because it wasn’t up to you.”
He exhaled slowly as though to calm himself down. “I know it wasn’t. I’m sorry I did this without telling you. I didn’t keep it a secret to deceive you. I just… I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t want one more thing for you to manage.”
“But it’s my business! It’s my life and my livelihood. It is exactly my problem and one hundred percentnotyours!” My voice had notched up, and I pressed the back of my hand over my lips to calm myself. The last thing I needed was a neighbor calling the cops on me for a domestic disturbance to put the cherry on top of the day.
And yet… had I ever verbalized myself so clearly to Callum when we were together? Had I done anything but cower those first few times he’d lied or hurt me? Even this, this heartbreaking disappointment and anger with him was… progress.
