Page 68 of Anything for You
Things like a quiet freak-out after an awful nightmare. Things like fear and worry after your dufus brother tries to make you join his cult.
If I waited much longer, this fizzing, brimming feeling would spill over and I’d lose my nerve, so I went for it. “I’ll go first, okay? I’m scared that I’m too inexperienced for you. I’m scared that my lack of a dating history is aturnoff, or even more so, that I won’t know how to be a good girlfriend to you. I’m scared that I’m too weird, that my past is too weird, that my stupid brother and his drama is going to make you not want to bother with me. I’m scared I won’t?—”
He stood and cut me off halfway around the kitchen island, facing me and placing his hands on either side of the counter so I couldn’t pass without ducking under his arms.
“Say it,” he said, not touching me, but energy and presence so palpable it almost felt like he was.
I swallowed, huffed out a jumble of nerves, and said, “I’m scared I won’t be what you want physically. When the time comes. Since I’m, again, inexperienced.”
He knew, but he might not realize the severity of it.
Good grief, what I’d give to read his mind right now, but his expression gave nothing away. He just looked for another few seconds that felt like at least five minutes and then tipped his chin down.
“My turn?”
Heart hammering, I nodded.
“I’m scared I’m not good enough for you. I’m scared I’ll drag you down, or that I’ll end up struggling with my mental health again and be a burden to you. I’m scared that the quiet, simple life I want isn’t enough for you and that I want you too much.”
I stepped into his space, just a few inches away. He was gloriously tall and I had to tilt my chin to look at him, but I wanted to be close.
“I don’t know what’s ahead, but I know if we try, I promise to be honest. I will. And I know it’s easy to say those things won’t bother me, and in reality, they are hard. Complex. But I will tell you I’m not running, and there’s no way you could want me too much.”
His hands found my waist and he hoisted me up ontothe counter, then stepped between my legs. The pine and cinnamon scent that clung to his shirt filled my space and I reached for him, locking my hands around his neck as he slid me to the edge of the counter, bodies locked together.
Holy wow, every inch of me was humming with awareness and need. I could hardly breathe, and I could absolutely not stand another second of waiting for whatever he might say.
“You don’t have to respond to mine, okay? I don’t?—”
His big, rough hand covered my mouth just like I’d done to him hours ago.
“My turn.”
I nodded.
“You ready?”
Another nod.
“You sure?”
My grin broke out, and he pulled his hand away but ran the pad of his thumb over my lower lip before he did.
Oh. My.
“I’m not worried about your inexperience, Dove, because I might be a quiet man, but I can be a greedy bastard and since the moment I saw you, I wanted you all to myself. I’m no relationship guru either, so we’ll have a lot of learning to do. I’m not worried about your ability to be a good girlfriend because you’re already an incredible friend and I’ve seen how you care for the people you value. And honey…” His hand slipped from where it rested on my arm to slide into my hair and grip the back of my head. “There is no part of me that has any doubt I will love every part of you, physically or otherwise.”
And then, ladies and gentlemen, I burst into flame.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Dove
Actually, I remained in a solid, technically uninflamed state.
My lashes fluttered and I was breathing hard. He was just holding me there, held and cherished but also somehow… restrained.
“So, uh, that means you want to continue? Or, you know, see what happens?” I asked, breathless from his proximity and the sheer wanting.
