I’ll pay for that dearly, because I don’t doubt my brother hasn’t missed it.
My cheeks blush with shame and as his gaze lingers, I know it only gets worse.
“Little Paitlyn.” Gunther says, smiling in a way that makes me shiver. “My, how you’ve grown.”
I don’t know how to respond. I’m not meant to. I just bite the tip of my tongue and pray that our past interactions are enough for him to disregard me. Only, to my horror he steps between the very tables, manoeuvring himself closer to me.
I can feel his warm breath on my skin as he stares down at my body.
With one calloused hand he reaches out, grips my chin and pulls my face up. Instinctively I look up, meeting his watery blue gaze and a gasp slips from my lips before I can stop it.
It’s been years since I’ve seen this man. He used to meet with my father regularly, but that all changed when I was eight. When my father passed, when me and my mother had to go into confinement and technically retire from good society.
His fingertips brush against my cheek as he forces my mouth open, and he shoves them in there as if he expects any other reaction beyond me choking, but my body trembles more. Shame radiates off me because I know what he’s simulating and it only increases as I feel him take the weight of my left breast, balancing it in his hand.
“You’re very sensitive.” He says as if I understand his meaning. Sensitive to what? Abuse? Violation?
“She’s never been touched by a man, Chapter Lord.” My mother says while the other families beside her scoff.
“All these daughters are pure.” Tilly’s father states almost flippantly. “Every one of these girls is a virgin.”
“That’s not what I meant.” My mother replies boldly, too boldly considering the circumstances. After all, aren’t we meant to be the subservient sex? “No man has ever laid a finger on her until today.” She continues, “Not just her sex, but every inch of her is pure. Even her own father and uncle never touched her skin. Never held her.”
As she declares this, the other families seem to murmur both in surprise and resentment, as if that fact alone makes me suddenly more worthy.
Gunther certainly seems to think so as his eyes light up. His other hand comes down from my chin to grasp my other breast and, as he begins to fully indulge in his ministrations, I have to bite my lip to hold back the curse I so dearly want to say.
Surely such actions, such behaviour goes against all public decency? He’s clearly getting off on this, he’s clearly enjoying every second. I hate the fact that my nipples have hardened, that my heart is racing with the amount of adrenaline pumping through my veins.
I’m not enjoying this, I’m not, but my body is giving every signal that I am and that shame that I couldn’t believe would get any worse engulfs me entirely.
I know what this means. Even as he steps back, even as he fondles the girl next to me and the one beside her, I know that I’ve scored the highest ranking.
It’s everything I didn’t want.
It’s everything I was hoping to avoid.
My heart sinks to an impossible level, and it’s all I can do to hold back the tears. I wanted to be a disappointment. I wanted to be overlooked. Sure, my mother would have been livid, wouldhave almost certainly beaten me for my failure but what is one moment of pain versus a lifetime chained to a man like him?
My mother steps up to me, cloaking my body in a robe and she gives me the biggest grin.
“You’ve done well.” She says. “Very well.”
Like I had any say in the matter.
I don’t want to be Chapter Lady,I don’t want any of this. But what choice do I have? What power do I have?
None, that’s what. Absolutely nothing
Devin
The music rings out, pissing my ears off with its merry little tune.
Me and the other guards are stood, watching from the perimeter of the room. This wasn’t what I imagined, not how I envisioned my day-to-day life to be when I became a Chapter Guard. I grit my teeth, biting down the annoyance that is already settling in.
I imagined drama, excitement, not stood watching a bunch of semi-naked girls twist and turn for our Lord’s amusement. Sure, the sight isn’t half bad. Some of the girls have nice tits that bounce as they move, but if I wanted to see naked women I couldjust as easily go to Oblivion, and at least here, I could have some fun with a slave or two.
“Look at them,” murmurs Lyndon, his voice a low growl. He’s one of the guards who did their training with me. “Like little flowers, waiting to be plucked.”