Page 46 of The Enemy's Defector
I narrowed my eyes again, angry and hurt.Good. You should feel fucking terrible keeping this a secret from me!
“I realized it right after I found you and we got away. When I saw how much you were bleeding, it triggered me. It was a freak connection to think that I’d missed my period so long ago. I’d felt other little things that I dismissed as stress and being worried. But then when I started feeling cramps, too…” She shrugged. “I just knew.”
“And didn’t think to tell me!” I hated to explode like this, but for fuck’s sake. She was pregnant and putting herself in danger every second she stuck with me like this.
“I wanted to. I almost did. But then you were acting so distant.”
“I was mad, dammit. I was mad that I was taken and mad that I didn’t know who ordered it.”
She nodded. “I know. But you seemed to push me away and?—”
I narrowed my eyes as I pivoted to face her fully. “Is that where all that bullshit came from? When you assumed you’d go your separate way and that I didn’t want you?”
“Hey.” She furrowed her brow. “Don’t act like I’m the idiot here. You were cool toward me. Aloof. I can understand your anger and frustration, but you took it out on me. Maybe you did because I was there. But I didn’t deserve that.”
I huffed out a hot breath, fuming not only at her deception but also that, beneath the emotions and all, she was right.
Fuck.
“I defied my uncle. I ran from all that I had, all that I knew. I’djustfound out that bastard killed my father, who I still miss every fucking day, Nik.” Her eyes glossed over as tears built and clung to the rims as she pointed a finger at her chest. “Think about it. Yeah, you were suffering in captivity and were beaten. But you could escape it if you had to. Youchoseto stay captive and hidden to get intel. I had no such choice. Because there is no one for me to call. I have no one and nothing to lean on going forward.”
“Goddammit.” As she began to cry, likely scorning the tears as they spilled over as she maintained that angry expression, I hurried toward her. Wrapping her in my arms, I tried to give her the secure comfort I wanted her to count on me for but also avoid hurting her wounded flesh.
“No one, Nik. I have no one and nothing,” she said, her voice muffled. She clung to me, breathing hard and hot as she came to terms with this breakdown. It was like the dam had burst. Ifshe’d known she was pregnant all this time and held it in, she’d been struggling alone and silently with how to grapple with this change.
“That’s not true.”
She nodded, not breaking away from me to do so. “I have no family. I will not go back to Anton. I’ve never wanted him to be the leader of my family after Father died. After hekilledmy father. I am hunted, a woman on the run with a hit on my back and?—”
I wrestled to get my hand under her chin to tip her face up toward mine. Silencing her with a kiss was a quick way to annoy her. But this time, she softened and kissed me back, as if she needed it to recalibrate.
“You are not alone,” I vowed once I broke the kiss. Staring into her blue eyes, I felt like I was committing this fact to her soul, sharing this concept with all my heart so she could believe in it.
“You will never be alone so long as I am here, Katerina.”
“You were so cold toward me at first. And each time I hoped you might say something about where I would go after this is over…”
I sighed, hating that because of my mother, I’d still struggle to commit. Trusting women had never come easily for me, but this was Katerina. This was the girl, the woman, I’d always felt drawn to in all ways.
“I will keep you alive at any cost,” I promised. “I will keep this baby alive and safe.” Lowering my gaze to her stomach as I stepped back slightly, I almost wanted to smile.
A baby.
Ourbaby.
It seemed like a miracle, one I couldn’t have ever expected.
“I worried that if I told you, you would react like this.”
I ducked to make her face me again. “Like what?” I couldn’t believe she’d be disappointed. I wasn’t mad?—
Fuck. We’ve got to get better at communicating clearly.Our sarcasm and argumentative ways of dealing with each other could make for fun times, but we had to meet in the middle when it mattered too.
“I’m sorry I reacted like that. At first. I mean, come on. I was shocked, Katerina. I wasn’t expecting to hear that, well, that you’re expecting. But I’m not mad.” Framing her face, I leaned in to kiss her to show her that I wasn’t upset. Stunned and surprised, but not mad.
“But I assumed you would be like this. Ready to take charge.”
“Of your safety?” I huffed. “Of course.”
