Page 48 of The Enemy's Defector
This was what I’d been waiting for. This was exactly what I’d always dreamed of.
Nik Ivanov, choosingmeto be his wife.
When I was a girl, Maxim, Damon, and Saul teased us about it. That it would be Katerina and Nikolai, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First would come marriage and then a baby.
It turned out we were doing that classic childhood taunt backward. He’d knocked me up andnowhe was asking me to marry him.
Or demanding it.
I couldn’t do anything but hug him as his offer continued to rock through me. I was suspended in disbelief that he’d actually mentioned marriage. Every day we’d been on the run and hiding while I hacked and searched and he wondered and strategized, I’d been experiencing this weird unease. With one foot in and one foot out, I’d been nervous what his long-term intentions might be toward me after I’d run from my uncle and he’d gotten out of captivity.
It seemed that I had my answer now.
As he slowly released me, he lowered to both knees in front of me. He really was proposing. On his knees before me, like this, I couldn’t feel inferior or dismissed. His brown gaze was locked on me, but it wasn’t only hope or the hint of love that shone in them. Instead, he stared at me with an expectant determination. Like he counted on me to cooperate about this.
“Katerina?” He cleared his throat, looking not afraid or shy but roguish as he peered up at me. That stubborn lock of dark brown hair fell over his brow—like it always did and added to his sexy appearance as a bad boy—and I brushed it aside.
If this was the one and only time I’d ever be asked to marry someone, I wanted to have a clear line of sight of his eyes.
I sighed, wishing my heart would feel happier and lighter with this happening.
All my life, it had lurked in the back of my mind. Nik was the boy I’d chased after when we were childhood friends. He was the fellow teenager stuck in the Mafia lifestyle who commiserated with me at parties and galas we both had to attend. And he was definitely the man I’d wanted to give up my virginity to.
But… something held me back from fully smiling at the sight of this strong Ivanov spy on his knees, looking at me so earnestly as he held my hands.
“Will you marry me?”
Hearing the words aimed at me struck me with how much my life was changing. Killing my uncle’s favorite soldier was a life-changing event. So was risking it all to save Nik. Having sex with him was also a milestone of so much change because our baby would be here and counting on me—or us—to keep him or her safe.
Change was a given. It was the only thing guaranteed in our existence because nothing ever lasted forever, the good or the bad. Nik asking me to marry him was just one more shift in my life, but I felt pressured to interpret his motivation behind it.
He’d called it a marriage of convenience.
And that stung.
If he hadn’t worded it like that, if he’d at least allowed me the loose hope that there could be real love between us and not just hot sex, I bet I wouldn’t have felt so stuck and awkward.
If he hadn’t emphasized the urgency of our marrying for the purpose of safety, no reservations or hesitations would have crossed my mind.
Don’t. Don’t do this, Kat. Don’t sabotage it all.
This is Nik.
The only guy you’ve ever tolerated and wanted.
I swallowed hard and tried my best to smile.
Even though it broke my heart to realize he only wanted to marry me because of the baby, I wanted to latch on to the thread of optimism that, maybe with time, he’d love me. It was hard not to worry that his goals to unite us officially were out of necessity, not love, but I had to do what was best for this new life.
Time would tell whether the Ivanovs would truly respect that I was Nik’s wife. I doubted they’d trust me after learning that I was literally expected to marry into their family to be a spy.
But if they could welcome me and extend their protective services to me and my child, then I’d be a fool not to go for this.
I owed my baby the best and safest life possible, and that would be far more realistic with the Ivanov force behind me. Not staying on the run as a single mother.
“Yes.” I whispered it in a rush. Before I could second-guess it any further, I gave Nik my answer with that one stark word that would change the rest of my life.
He stood, kissing me swiftly, and I wanted to believe that myyesto marry him meant that the rest of my life would change for the better.
