Page 147 of Beautiful Trauma
Caterina appeared in the doorway then with a twin on each hip. “What do you two think you’re doing? I told you not to bother Mila.”
“It’s okay. We were getting to know each other,” I assured her.
“Mommy, Mila’s gonna play princesses with us,” Julianna exclaimed.
“But not today,” Piper replied.
Julianna nodded. “She needs her rest.”
Hearing the girls keep repeating how much I needed rest made me feel even more tired. “In fact, I think I’ll take a nap.”
Kellan’s blond brows furrowed. “What about eating?”
“I’m not really hungry right now.”
Caterina exchanged a look with Kellan before waving at the girls. “Come on. You can help me get the boys down for their nap.”
“Bye, girls. We’ll play tomorrow, okay?” I promised.
“Yeah!” they happily screeched before running to Caterina. Once they had left, Kellan closed the door.
When he turned back to me, his expression was serious. “Talk to me, Mila.”
“About what?”
“What’s going on with you?”
“I’m just tired,” I lied.
He shook his head. “It’s more than just exhaustion. You only picked at your food last night, and now you’re refusing lunch after not eating breakfast.”
I can’t eat because my stomach is twisted in knots from thinking about siblings and the life I walked away from.I’m worried that it’ll never be enough for my father until I’m dead, or worst of all, until you’re dead.
With a shrug, I replied, “I’m just not hungry.”
“Please, Mila.”
Kellan’s pleading words and expression broke me. But I still couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth. Somehow I knew that even if I did, it still wouldn’t take away the agony within me.
I burrowed under the covers. “I’d like to sleep now.”
“Can I tell Maeve you’ll meet her at dinner?”
“Maybe,” I replied.
And without another word to Kellan, I rolled over on my side, facing away from him. He remained standing there staring atme for several minutes. When I finally heard the door close, I allowed the tears to flow.
After rotting in bed most of the afternoon, I started to feel like if I didn’t get out of the four walls of the bedroom I was going to go crazy.
Since I already felt crazy, I guess it would be even crazier.
When I slipped out of the bedroom, the boisterous voices downstairs made me momentarily reconsider. But then I remembered Kellan telling me about the rooftop terrace that ran the length of the house. As I started down the hall, I searched for the stairs. Even though I’d been there for two days, the house was still a mystery to me.
Once I found them,I headed up. As soon as I pushed open the door, peace overcame me at the feel of the sun on my face and the fresh air entering my lungs. My bare feet padded along the tiled floor as I walked over to the edge.
Overwhelmed by the view of the city before me, I could merely stare in awe. In many ways, Boston reminded me of Philly, which was both painful and comforting.
At the sound of a chair scraping, I whirled around. Behind me at one of the tables was an auburn haired woman. I knew without introductions it was Maeve considering how much she and Kellan favored each other.
