Page 106 of Crew Princess
…HOT!
“—fucking gorgeous.” He blinked a few times. “Wow. Holy, just—wow.”
Channing snorted, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Yep. You use that education, son. We’re going inside.” He tugged Heather behind him, and as the door swung shut, we heard Taz asking where I was.
Channing murmured something, but the door shut, leaving Cross and me on an empty porch.
I suddenly felt self-conscious again and crossed an arm over my chest, grabbing my other arm. “Hey.”
He was still taking me in. “Bren.” Cross lifted his head, his voice rough. “We’re not going to prom.”
“What? We aren’t?”
“Nope.” He took my hand, digging in his pocket for his keys. He pulled them out, leading me to the sidewalk. “We’re getting a hotel room. I’m getting us champagne, wine, roses, chocolate dipped things, and we’re spending all night there. No one else. And condoms. I’m getting a fucking Easter basket of condoms.”
I laughed, tugging him back. “Stop.”
He whirled, his hands coming to my hips. Breathing hard, looking all fierce, he peered right into my eyes. “I’m not joking. I’m totally fucking serious.” His hands flexed. “I do not want to share you right now. Or, like, ever.” He groaned as he kissed my forehead. “You are fucking beautiful. I don’t have any other words. I just want to keep you all to myself and—”
He stopped.
I pressed a hand to his chest, smoothing it down.
“Bren?”
I wasn’t looking up anymore. There were tears again, and I was trying to keep them at bay, but he was making it tough.
I loved him so much.
I needed him so much.
I yearned for him so much.
And hearing these words, feeling his need emanate from him, I couldn’t talk.
Finally, after a few breaths, I choked out, “I told Channing and Heather today that I didn’t know why you were with me.”
“Bren. What?” His hand came to my arm. He pulled me close.
“All day today, I was missing having a mom. I was dreading coming here tonight because I’d be the only one without a parent. And I’ve thought it for a while, wondering why you’re with me. I thought it was because you had parents. Normal parents. Even their divorce is normal. And a sister. You and Taz are so close, but you’re normal.” I lifted my head now. I wanted him to really hear me. “I’m not normal.”
“Bab—”
“No, listen to me.” I should’ve moved out of his arms, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So I stayed and poured out my heart, within his shelter. “I’m not. But you are. I used to think I was above the Normals, but today, tonight, I had to stop believing that lie. I’m not above them. I’m not special because I have your love, and Zellman and Jordan’s friendship. Iactit. We act it, but we’re just tougher. We’re meaner. We’re loyal to an extreme. That’s how we’re different, but we’re not above them. I think in some ways, we’re what’s wrong. Not the school. Not the Normals. Us. The crews.”
“Bren.” He shook his head. “Where is this all coming from?”
An image flashed in my head. Jordan with Tabatha. Zellman following Sunday. Taz and Race together. Then Cross and me.
I was holding everyone back.
“You guys never talk about college.” It was the elephant in the room. “I know it’s because of me. You’re protecting me, but I know you guys have all made plans.”
“No, we haven’t. We—”
I stopped him. I had to say this, standing separate. My body against his defeated the purpose.
I took a step away. “I’m holding you guys back. I know I am. I am terrified of moving into the future. I’m terrified of losing you guys, but I will. People change. Lives evolve. And I am too. Iwilltoo.”
