Page 75 of Crew Princess
I surged to my feet. I just had to hold him, have him in my arms. Unlike the last time, he stepped into me. His head went to my shoulder, my neck, and he wrapped his arms around me.
We stood that way a long time before he pulled away, his thumb flicking at the corner of his eye. “Sorry. I—fuck.” He let out a ragged breath, sitting at my side.
“That’s rough,” Jordan said softly.
Cross nodded. “Yeah.”
“Hey!”
Jordan turned around. “Ah. Z’s coming back.”
Zellman was scowling and waving his phone in the air. “Why’s Taz all pissed at you guys? You wouldn’t take her calls or something?”
Cross laughed, and Jordan rolled his eyes, standing again. “Yeah.” He ignored the question, gesturing to Z’s empty hands. “I see you brought a lot back to burn, huh?”
Zellman lifted a middle finger. “Burn this.”
Jordan laughed, smacking Z’s shoulder. “Come on. I have stuff in the truck. Safe stuff we can burn. Help me carry it down.”
“What? Why?”
“Justcome on.”
We could hear Zellman arguing, but he went with him, protesting the whole way.
Once they were out of earshot, Cross leaned forward, his head dropping down, almost between his knees. “Fuck, Bren.”
I couldn’t take away his hurt, but I wanted to. So badly. Instead, I could only rub his back. “I’m sorry about your brother.”
A wry laugh ripped from him. “Dad had a kid, around the same time he got our mom pregnant. Can you imagine that? Two lives almost.”
“Has he known this whole time?”
He stiffened. “I don’t know.” He sighed. “Shit. I should know that before judging him, right?”
I didn’t know how to respond. Cross had been quiet about his family for so long. The little bit I did know had just slipped out over the years. But I knew it tortured him. I knew there was so much anger, and now it made sense, but I had no idea how to talk to him about it.
Did he want me to ask questions? Offer words of comfort? Scheme how to send this half-brother away?
I had no clue, so I turned off my mind and went with my gut.
I started low, in a quiet voice, and moved so our legs were touching. “I can’t speak to finding out your dad has a secret kid, or there was an affair, or how your mom had an affair of her own. I have no clue how that all works in a family. I’m guessing there’s trust that’s been ripped away. Hurt. Pain. Anger.” I was trying, but I had no clue what I was saying.
“Look, I—from what I’ve been hearing, it seems like your parents are both okay with the divorce…”
Cross shoved to his feet. “ButI’mnot okay! Who the fuck decides on dissolving a family? Taz and I didn’t get a say in that. It was—I thought they were good. I think…”
But he didn’t, and I knew he didn’t.
“Cross.” I caught his hand, tugging him back down. “What—”
“They were forcing it. Faking everything.”
I closed my mouth.
“Looking back, I know the exact moment they stopped. And it’s not when they started fighting. It’s when they stopped pretending to be this happy solid unit.” He leaned forward again, his hands catching his head. His fingers slid through his hair. “I’ve been trying to remember a time when they weren’t so stiff around each other, when they didn’t seem like they wanted to tear each other’s heads off, when the smiles weren’t forced, and I swear to God, I can’t remember. There’s always been this undercurrent of hate between them, and I felt it growing up.Growing up, Bren.”
He looked at me, his eyes haunted. “Taz has no idea. She’s hurting, but she’s trying to do this whole charade that she’s ‘being there’ for Mom and Dad, that ‘if this is what makes Mom and Dad happy, we need to support them.’ And fuck that. Fuck her. Fuck THEM!”
