Page 106 of Whirlwind
“Hell, I’m so sorry, Kit.”
We’re interrupted by the server, all of us ordering whatever we see first on the menu. I’m not sure any of us has much appetite.
“We grew up outside of Salem, Massachusetts,” Daniel says. “She was raised by her grandparents—her mother had perished in a car accident when she was young. I’m sorry I don’t have any information about her dad, but I got the impression he was never in the picture. Unfortunately, both her grandparents died within a couple of years of each other, when Nimii was in college.”
“She went to college?”
“She did. Damn, she was smart. She had a scholarship to the University of Maine for mathematics.”
Tyson asks questions, keeping the conversation moving while I take everything in, latching on to the small details that connect me to her. By the end of it, I feel more a part of her than I ever could my father.
“I have pictures.”
Daniel opens a manila envelope and pulls out photo after photo. I study each one for long minutes.
“You’re right, I do look like her,” I say, looking at one of her in a volleyball uniform, her arm wrapped around another girl.
“That’s Hannah, my sister. Hannah moved here with her husband. When she got sick, I came to help, intending to go back to Salem after she died. But then, everything with your mom happened,” he says, his voice growing sadder. “I stayed. The two women I’d loved the most spent their final moments here, and I couldn’t leave.”
“You loved her?” I ask, popping my head up. His eyes shine, and mine begin to water, too.
“I did. I had for years. It was unrequited, but I’d have done anything for Nimii. She was a special woman with a special spirit. I’m sorry you never got to know that.”
“It matters that she was loved,” I say. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
When I’ve methodically viewed every picture, Daniel packages them back up and hands the envelope to me. A gift, he calls it.
The most precious one I’ve ever received, I think, as we walk to the cemetery. He doesn’t stay for that. Once he’s shown us the way, he leaves to give me time.
Another gift from him—because I sob while sitting on the earth above where she’s interred. Tyson sits behind me, arms tightly holding me together as I try to fall apart.
“It’s stupid, she’s not here,” I say. “I know that, but I’ve never felt closer to her.”
“It’s not stupid, love. It’s natural. It’s human,” he says. “Let yourself feel it.”
Tyson
We’ve been home from Montana for over a month. Kit and Daniel have established a friendship, they talk regularly. Any time she thinks of a question about Nimii, she asks him. He loves to talk about her, and I think it’s been healing for them both.
Something else that has been healing is Kit’s therapy. She found someone to talk to as soon as we got home, and she’s learning new techniques to deal with her biggest anxious moments.
She’s also been learning about her heritage. The team works closely with the local Muckleshoot tribe, and she’s connectedwith a few of their members, who are helping her dip her toes in. Plus, Daniel has invited us back to Montana to attend the annual Crow Fair. It will be Kit’s first Powwow experience, and she’s giddy with excitement. She wants to connect with folks from Mi’kmaq at some point, too. For now, she’s soaking up everything she has easy access to.
Every day, she grows stronger, braver.
Every day, I fall more in love with her.
We don’t spend nights apart. That will change when the season starts back up, of course. I’ll hate being away from her, so for now, I soak up every minute we spend together. Cal’s house has become nothing more than a place I store my shit. I’ve practically moved into Kit’s little bungalow.
I’d offer to buy us a bigger space; except we like it here—at Kit’s shoebox home. She said we should construct an outbuilding in the backyard. A yoga studio and gym. A space that’s mine, free of her sensory clutter.
The truth is, I like her clutter. But she wants me to have everything I need, here, and it’s one more thing to love about her.
“Plushie,” Lottie yells into her microphone.
“Fuck yeah,” Kit replies, excitedly. The three of us are in party chat while we playPalia. It’s a cozy game that is not at all my speed, but it’s Lot’s current obsession. If we want to spend time with her, this is how we do it. If it means I run around a fantasy landscape mining ore and hunting magical creatures, that’s what I’ll do.
What the fuck does it matter, as long as I’m hanging out with my two favorite people.
