Page 83 of Whirlwind
“And spur-of-the-moment hockey trades?”
“That, too.” I rub my nose against hers. “Thank you for coming to this with me.”
“All my friends are here,” she says, shrugging and grinning slyly.
“You’re angling for that spanking, aren’t you?” I whisper. She drops her head to my chest and nods. “I love how brave you are.”
“I don’t feel brave. I feel like a scared rabbit most of the time.”
Lottie and Kit share that personality trait. Self-awareness is hard. Kit is more in tune with herself than she gives herself credit for. I’m not sure I’ve known anyone who is as honest about everything as she is—including how she’s feeling at any given time. Which is brave as hell.
“Admitting that is brave, Kit,” I say, just before the MC asks for us to take our seats for dinner.
We end up at a table with Zander, Cillian, Damian, Isla, and Willa along with Brom and Wallin, who are both here solo tonight. Letty is solo, too, but he’s attached to Gavin and Odette, who sit at a neighboring table.
Dinner is served while we watch a presentation by the director of the domestic abuse shelter. She speaks on the statistics of abuse toward women and children. I notice when Kit grows vacant. I think it’s something she does when she needs to remove herself from the moment—or she’s remembering a painful moment of her childhood. I rub the small of her back, hoping it gives her some sort of comfort.
There isn’t much else I can do. If I could, I’d take it away—change her past to nothing but happy memories. Every kid deserves that.
The presentation turns heavier as some of the women the shelter has helped share their stories. One woman, a mother of four, needed the shelter before her oldest child was six years old. For years, she wanted to leave, but over and over again, he promised he would change. Then, he’d remind her that she didn’t have a job, no money, no local family to help her out. She felt trapped. The decision to leave only came after he raised a hand to one of her children. That’s when she found the shelter.
Having the women speak proves an effective strategy, because as soon as dinner is over, all of us guys move back to the silent auction items and bid them up higher.
We’re not powerful enough to change the world, but we can help the most vulnerable in our own city, surely. Kit is still quiet. She’s adding to the conversation, but isn’t fully invested, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s thinking the same things I am.
What about all the children in the world that don’t have a parent to get them out of a terrifying situation? What if the only parent you have is the one you need to escape from? We don’t have shelters for children running away from abuse. There’s little option for them, other than to survive eighteen years.
Jesus, what a downer.
As if they sense the shift in mood, music starts to play and trays of champagne get passed around for the last few minutes of bidding. Willa pulls Kit to the dance floor with Hugo and Letty. I watch Kit become lighter, her smile brightening.
“She’s good at that,” Damian says next to me, following my line of sight. “Pulling her out of her head.”
“Was my worry that obvious?”
“Yes, but that only makes me like you more,” he says. “Not everyone would even notice, Kit’s good at hiding it.”
“She can be,” I agree. But I see it. I see her. All the strengths she doesn’t believe she has, all the vulnerability she wishes she didn’t have. They’re all part of her, they’re all what makes her so special. Sweet, kind, sassy, and strong.
She raises her arms above her head, spinning in a circle and jumping to the beat. I know, without a doubt, I’ve fallen in love with her.
When I least expected to find much of anything good, I found great. I found amazing. I found someone I want to take care of and support. Someone who sees me as a man, rather than apaycheck. A woman I could spend a lifetime with and never have a dull or complacent day. I don’t think those are possible with Kit’s natural curiosity.
One of the items I bid an outrageous amount of money on tonight is a trip to Palm Springs. We can check Joshua Tree off her list, first, then work on the others. When I saw the auction item, it seemed like fate, though she’d laugh at that. A week with her, without work, midnight phone calls, or traveling to games across the country, sounds like a dream.
After being traded to this team, the most I’d hoped for was a chance at playoff hockey. Now, I’m getting that with a solid shot at the cup. And it’s coming in second on my list of priorities. Playoffs haven’t crossed my mind all night, until just now. In every past season, it would have been my focus.
I’m not sure what to think about that or how to feel. Until now, I always thought I was the one in control of my life. All the decisions were mine. Now, it’s as if I’m watching my puzzle pieces move by an invisible hand.
My head spins as quickly as Kit does on the dance floor. I’m almost dizzy with it all, can’t tell up from down, left from right. Is this head over heels? Or fear that I’ve moved too quickly into a life-changing relationship? We haven’t talked about the future. There’s a long list of what-ifs that we may not be on the same page with. What if we don’t align on the important things? Are we both willing to make the necessary sacrifices and compromises?
If we aren’t, is it too late to live without her?
“Hey, Cill just announced Isla’s pregnant,” Zander says, coming to stand next to Damian.
“That’s what Willa’s been dying to tell us all week,” Damian says with a wide smile.
“Probably. She was with Isla when she found out, but was told not to say anything until they told Coach.”
