Page 117 of Restless Hawke
She gives me a sympathetic look. “If that’s the way you want to look at it.”
It’s the only way I can.
If I don’t, it will follow me into the room.
We finally reach it, and I make my way over toward the table I’ve been assigned to for the first round, which will begin in just a few minutes.
Glancing back at Bishop, I sigh. “If I don’t think about it like that, there’s no way that I can play today. And if I can’t do that, he’ll come after all of you.”
She presses her lips together in a firm line, her dark eyes narrowing on me. “Are you sure you’re up for this today? After everything that happened?”
“I don’t have a fucking choice, Bishop.”
The casino host, Devin, steps up and shakes my hand. “Welcome, Mr. Hawke. We have your seat right here.”
He ushers me into one, asking if I need anything to eat or drink before we get underway, and I glance back at Bishop, who stands behind me, eyes vigilant, darting across everyone in the room, and to the door, watching for any threats, that now include Allegra.
None of this was supposed to happen.
I wasn’t supposed to actually like you.
Her hollow excuses and empty apologies echo in my head. Taunting me the same way her breathy gasps and moans do.
Fuck.
I scrub my hands over my face and lean my elbows on the table. Sheer exhaustion overtakes me, and for the first time in my adult life, Idon’tfeel prepared at all for this game.
All those rules Dad laid out for me.
All the things he taught me about how to win.
They all mean nothing when my head and heart are filled with Allegra’s bullshit and too many questions to ever sort through.
Butch settles into his seat at the far end of the table, adjusting his cowboy hat to tilt it toward me. “You look like shit.”
Of course he would be here.
“Gee, thanks.”
The Texan smirks. “This have anything to do with your lady friend?”
My back stiffens. “What?”
He winks at me. “Saw you two having a cozy dinner last night, but she isn’t on the player’s list today…”
“No, she isn’t.”
And if she knows what’s good for her, she’ll never show her face at any tournament I’m at again.
His eyebrows waggle. “Trouble in paradise?”
There never was a fucking paradise.
Just Hell.
Only, I never realized I was in it until it was too late.
17
