Page 136 of Beneath the Mountain Sky
We’re pushing harder than we did during our last hike, and even though I’m feeling better physically, I haven’t regained my stamina. And I don’t want Killian to worry any more than he already does.
But I can’t hide from this man.
Killian gives me a tight smile.
It shows every ounce of his concern.
He doesn’t believe me that I don’t need a real break.
And maybe he shouldn’t, since he’s the one who held me last night while I sobbed as the memories came rushing back every time I tried to close my eyes and sleep.
Of being taken.
Of being touched…
Even now, I have to shut my eyes and struggle to breathe through the nausea rolling through my stomach.
Killian’s arms wrap around me, and he tugs me against his chest. “Don’t lie to me like that. It’s okay to not be okay.”
I sense Liam and Connor slip past us and continue up the trail, giving us some privacy.
Birds chirp in the trees above us, fluttering from limb to limb, enjoying the beautiful day that I should be able to—but I can’t. Not knowing our reason for being up here.
Killian skims his lips across my temple. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head and suck in a long, slow breath. “No, not again.”
His words from last night still ring in my head.
Crystal clear.
Because he ensured I would hear and remember them. Repeated them to me at least a dozen times as he held me through my tears.
“Nothing he did to you changes who you are to me. Nothing. And none of it was your fault.”
It’s hard to believe that when I’m the one who left. If I had stayed that day to talk things through with him, none of this would have happened. But I know he believes it’s his. That if he hadn’t said what he did to me, if he hadn’t panicked, we would have had the life we always planned.
We could go on blaming ourselves, or each other, forever, and it wouldn’t change where we are right now, though.
It would just drag us into an even darker place.
Neither of us wants that.
Moving forward is the only option.
I pull out of his arms and stare up at him—the man everyone in McBride Mountain gives a wide berth. The one they’re afraid to upset or cross. But Killian is my avenging hero, on a mission to seek and destroy whoever caused me so much pain. I know he won’t stop until he does, and that gives me comfort that his words never could.
He brushes a thick strand of dark hair away from my eyes and gives me a hard smile. “You ready to keep going?”
I nod, and he takes my hand in his and leads me along the barely discernible trail.
We weave through the thick, towering forest, hiking for hours in comfortable silence. Just having him with me, knowing he will always be here for anything I need, watching my back, and giving me his protection, makes it possible to keep moving.
It keeps the darkness at bay.
Somehow out here, it’s easier to concentrate on my breathing, drawing in the fresh, clean air. To feel my feet falling on solid ground that’s been here for millennia, knowing it will remain long after we’re gone. And to watch how confident Killian is as he stalks through the trees with sure steps, carrying his pack on his shoulders as if it weighs nothing, axe strapped across it in case he needs it.
All of it lulls me into an almost trance, allows those things that haunt me to float away as the sun arches overhead and finally starts to lower in the west.
