Because so many of mine are wrapped up in that man.
Nights spent in his arms.
Days spent hiking and enjoying the mountain.
I close my eyes and inhale again, allowing his scent to do to me what it always does. When the sound of the water boiling finally draws my eyes open, I actually feel relaxed for the first time since I woke in that hospital bed. I grab my giant wooden spoon and start stirring the beeswax, watching it slowly melt, the little bits of dirt and other impurities separating from the beautiful gift from nature that I need to create a batch of candles.
Being out here, doing this, always gave me an outlet, the same way carving does for Killian and building chairs does for Liam.
Creating something beautiful from something most people might overlook or even discard. Finding beauty in something Mother Nature gave us and utilizing it to create something else beautiful.
A shadow slips across the door behind me, blocking out the sun, and I whirl toward it to find Killian leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest, making his dark T-shirt pull taut across sculpted muscles. “I thought I might find you out here.”
“Oh, hi.” I shrug, feeling like somehow I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t and need to apologize for being in what used to be my space. “Just needed to do something normal.”
His gaze softens as he steps in and makes his way over to the counter…and me. Those warm blue eyes I get lost swimming in rake across every inch of my body, taking in the exposed bruises, lingering on my side, even though he can’t see the damage to my ribs. Like he’s examining me for any signs that being out here and doing this has aggravated my injuries in any way.
He stops beside me and lifts the scent bottle to his nose.
A grin pulls at his lips.
And hell, he’s fucking beautiful.
It’s so rare to see Killian like this—with his guard down. If anyone else saw it, they wouldn’t believe he’s the same man they know. The one Raven has warned them about when he’s in a foul mood. This Killian is the one I fell so easily in love with.
His voice dips low as he sets the bottle back down. “That’s familiar.”
Oh, hell.
So are the butterflies fluttering through my chest at being this close to him. At hearing the fluctuation in his tone, so full of promise…
I nod, clearing my throat awkwardly, suddenly uncomfortable around the man who has been my comfort zone for so long. Because I don’t know what we are anymore. Friends. Former lovers. Jilted betrothed. Potential mates. None of those labels feel right. “It should be; it’s yours.”
He leans against the counter and watches me stir the wax, that smug grin still playing at his lips. Because he knows as well as I do why I chose that scent to make today. “I have to go into the yard, take care of some things before I go up the mountain again tomorrow.”
The subtle reference to where he’s going without directly referencing why is appreciated, but my gut still tightens. “Okay…”
Those all-seeing eyes of his roam over me again. “I don’t want to leave you alone, and Connor and Liam are already down there.”
That concern in his voice somehow both warms my chest and raises my hackles.
“I’m okay to be up here alone, Killian.”
I can’t rely on other people to watch over me like babysitters, to always be here if I have a meltdown. That isn’t realistic. It’s been a week since Killian found me, and their lives and schedules have already been affected enough.
His jaw hardens. “It’s not you I’m worried about, Honeybee.”
Every time that nickname slips from his lips, my heart stutters a little.
When he first called me that, we were young. Still in elementary school. So oblivious to anything that existed beyond our isolated world on the mountain, to the pain that could come to us from things on it and outside it.
The worst things we experienced at that age were scraped knees and bee stings.
“You really harvested all this honey and maintained the hives while I was gone?”
I earned the nickname due to my ability to handle the hives without getting stung, but Killian has never been so lucky.
They seem to sense he’s a predator at heart.