Page 93 of Beneath the Mountain Sky
“I eventually had to come back, but I tried every day for a year to get Raven to tell me where you were. I begged for any information. But she stood her ground. She told me you were happy.” His voice wavers again, and he clenches his hands. “Away from me. Away from the mountain. And I believed her. What you do, your candles, I always knew they’d be a great business beyond McBride Mountain, and I figured you’d found that…and maybe someone who could give you what you wanted.”
A sob climbs up my throat as I stare at the only man I’ve ever loved. “All I’ve ever wanted is you, Killian.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not true. You wanted a family, and I wasn’t sure I could give that to you.”
“But why?”
None of this makes sense—his fear of being a father.
The panic it caused.
Killian throws out his hands. “I don’t fucking know!” He shakes his head again. “Because I never had a father. I don’t know how to be one. I don’t know how to be gentle, or control my temper, or?—”
I push out of my chair and march straight over to him, my entire body vibrating with anger. “Bullshit! You had one—it just didn’t look like everyone else’s. Your dad may have died when you were young, but your mother! Good God, she was both parents for you. And then she took in Connor and Liam, and I’ve never seen a family that was as happy as you guys were together. She welcomed anyone into your home and to your table as if they were family.” I fight another sob as my tears rush out completely unbidden. “How many nights did I call your mom to come get me so I could sleep on your couch when my mom came home drunk or high and I didn’t feel safe there?”
He winces, squeezing his eyes closed.
Stepping forward, I shove a finger into his hard chest. “You had a role model, you had a family, so why didn’t you want one with me?”
His eyes flutter open again. “That’s just it. I did. Every time I thought about your belly swelling with my child, holding him or her, watching our baby grow up, I couldn’t stop smiling. I was just terrified that I would fail our child and you, and it would be the end of us.”
The fire crackles beside us, its heat warming me while the chill of his confession still tingles my spine.
“Killian McBride, you’ve never failed at anything in your life.”
“I failed to protect you?—”
A twig snaps loudly in the trees to our left, and both of us whirl toward the sound.
Killian’s arm snaps out and wraps around me, urging me behind him. “Get the fuck back in the cabin. Lock the door. You know where I keep the shotgun and shells. Load it.”
“It’s probably just?—”
“Go!” He glances over his shoulder for a second to ensure I see how serious he is. “If anyone else comes to the door, use it.”
His body radiates with tension that leaves no room for argument.
Whatever he’s sensing, he doesn’t want me anywhere near it.
And no one knows what dangers lurk on this mountain better than Killian.
12
KILLIAN
The sound of the cabin door clicking closed and Willow throwing the lock, safely securing herself inside, finally sets me in motion.
I back away from the fire slowly, keeping my eyes on the trees where the sound came from while sinking into the shadows toward the barn. Willow has my shotgun to protect herself, and I taught her how to use it. But I need a weapon, and there’s only one that will do.
My axe…
It leans against the wall inside the barn where I left it when I unpacked our gear after coming down the mountain earlier this evening.
I just have to get to it before whatever is in the woods gets to me.
Another twig snaps in the thick foliage, and I freeze, tilting my head to listen better. Taking in all the sounds of McBride Mountain at night.
Darkness has fully descended.
