Page 115 of Deadly Knight
Maybe then I’d be worthy of the only man I always hoped to be worthy of, but never was.
That I still am not.
Only this time, I don’t care.
The sun bringsto light how long I’ve sat in my living room, staring at nothing. Drilling imaginary holes into the floor towards Dimitri’s apartment, a place he’s had for so long.
It’s shocking I never knew. All these years with him beneath me, and I’ve never seen or heard him coming and going.
I phone into work, not wanting to leave in case Vanessa arrives when I’m gone. And also knowing I’d be useless to provide therapy to others, let alone unlock my office door without breaking down.
Hunger eventually wins out and I manage to sip a bowl of soup while staring out the window, seeking some sign of Vanessa’s arrival.
A black SUVpulls up to the curb and Iknowit’s her. I leap from my place by the window and run for the door, counting the seconds until Vanessa’s knock comes. I have the door open before she’s even finished.
She stands there, fist mid-air, dressed in cargo pants and a tight top. Her hair’s bound up in a braid resting over her shoulder. For all the right reasons, she looks completely average, but there’s no telling how many weapons she has strapped to her.
To her right is Anastasia, dressed similarly, only her blonde hair has been left down. She grins. “Long time no see. Missed you around the mansion.”
Vanessa turns to the small army of five men standing behind her, all dressed entirely in black. Menacing in their own ways, shifting as though uncomfortable in the hallway.
“Come in.” I wave them in, backing up to make room. “Maybe they should as well, so no one gets freaked out. You guys don’t exactly blend well.” Vanessa nods and gestures for them to enter first. “They’re not exactly subtle,” I murmur to Anastasia as she enters after them. “No Lev?”
Anastasia shakes her head. “He wanted to, but he’s protecting someone else who takes precedence.”
“Zeno stayed behind too,” Vanessa comments. “Though he didn’t want to. Figured we already shouldn’t be here, but adding a Cosa Nostra capo to it won’t help anyone’s case.”
Even politically, as a leader, she needs to protect her partner. Like two equals. It’s admirable.
With seven extra people in my apartment, it makes the average-sized space feel tiny, and though the soldiers manage to squeeze themselves into my kitchen area, leaving Anastasia, Vanessa, and me to spread out elsewhere.
“Nice place.” Anastasia drops onto my couch, hooking one foot over the other as she scans my living room. “It’s so…normal.”
“Not the time, Ana.” Vanessa cuts her a look. “The people who took Dimitri didn’t hide their tracks well, though I suppose they weren’t trying to. The note you found was written by men who worked alongside my papa. It was a matter of figuring out exactly who and how many were behind Dimitri’s kidnapping. Two; Andrei and Mikhail. Lev tracked their cells to an abandoned prison in the city. They’re working with other soldiers who joined Dimitri’s father a few months ago in an attempt to overthrow me. Men who defected when I got into power. Now that Ivan’s in prison, they’ve turned to Mikhail and Andrei. They want Ivan free, which isn’t happening, so they’ll put up a fight. We’re not certain how many there are exactly; if seven of us will be enough.”
“Eight.”
Vanessa sighs, sharing a look with Anastasia who simply holds up her hands as though to sayI’mnot getting involved.“Look, Katya, you really need to think about it. He’ll understand why you don’t come. Fuck, he’llwantyou to stay here. It’ll be a risk; we’ll be battling through whatever’s waiting, but we’ll do our best to cover you.” She glances towards her soldiers who all nod, seemingly unsurprised by me joining them. “Your job will be to get Dimitri out. It might not be pretty, but?—”
“I don’t care. He’s seen me at my worst. This is no different.”
“You’re probably the only one he’ll want to see, if I’m honest. We don’t know exactly where in the prison they’re keeping him, but I’m assuming a cell.”
“I’m coming,” I decide with absolute resoluteness. More certain than any decision I’ve ever made. “You can’t leave me behind. I understand the risk and I’m willing to take it.”
Something passes over Vanessa’s gaze before she nods. “I see that. What’s changed between now and a month ago?”
“I realized what I’ve been running from, not only then, but for years. Realized that the past doesn’t always have to define the future. That believing I wasn’t strong enough didn’t have to define my future. I was caught up in old fears and trauma, convinced that if I stayed away from him, no one would harm either of us. That distance was required to heal, but it’s not. And he’s in trouble, so staying away has had no benefit to either of us.”
I’ve been more miserable in the past month than ever, and he’s in danger. If anything, distance is the source behind our issues.
Her smile, if it can be referred to as that, is almost warm. She turns to the open doorway of my bedroom after scanning my day-old jeans and blouse I haven’t changed out of from yesterday.
“Come. We need to find you more appropriate clothing.”
Ten minutes later,she has me in yoga pants and a shirt, a zippered sweater thrown over top, and sneakers she dug out of my closet.
“Some rules,” she begins, leading me back towards the others. Anastasia’s busy flicking through my movie collectionand looks up when we rejoin them. “If I say run, you get the fuck out, no questions asked. Do not look behind you. Do not worry about Dimitri, Ana, me, or anyone else. You get yourself out. I swear I won’t make you go unlessabsolutelynecessary, if something goes majorly wrong.”
