Page 25 of Deadly Knight
What about us?
Her eyes shut for a solid five, long seconds. I count every single one of them, because if this is truly ending, those are five seconds I’ve now lost to gaze at her beautiful eyes.
When she finally opens them, it’s not Katya across from me. My girl doesn’t look this way—this empty, this accepting.
But it is her. A new version. Because what happened inevitably changed her.
“I love you, Dimitri, with every bit of my heart, my soul, my entire being. The past few years have been amazing. You’re a remarkable person. A light within the darkness. When you told me about your family, I convinced myself my feelings for you could overshadow anything else. That it’s a job and nothing more, and won’t change who you are deep down. I still feel that way…aboutyou.Onlyyou. Not the rest.” She forces a staggering breath, the pain she’s masking slipping through the cracks. It mirrors the agony tightening my lungs as she’s reaching her hand into my chest and ripping my heart from its cavity.
How does one survive such a thing? I don’t know. I’d like to figure it out, because I’m not surviving this.
She continues talking—destroying me. Each syllable strips another layer away, leaving me a shell of the man I was. She’s ripped my heart out already, but with her continued words, her nails chip away another chunk, discarding the dead organ between our feet.
“What those men did…what theytook…” She shivers, the soft brown of her eyes flickering in the afternoon sun. “While Iregret not listening to you at the party, fact is, your father never wanted us together. So if not then, what’s to say it wouldn’t have happened another time?”
She knows.
“It was him. Your papa,” she whispers. “He was…there…with us in the warehouse. You need to know, he was behind it all.”
Yebat’!It keeps getting worse. Knowing my own father did this was one thing, but the fact he wasthere. He watched her get raped four times over, all at his command. The sick fucker swung the executioner’s ax and stayed to witness his orders followed.
“You know that already.” It’s not a question, prompted by my silence.
My hands tighten by my sides, the desire for my father’s murder growing with every bit she talks. I’ll happily make myself an orphan to rid the world of him.
“Not that he witnessed it, no. When you were in the hospital, I went to him for help and figured it out then. He hired those men, and I’m so fucking sorry for his actions.” Sorry can’t fix the torment he’s spun. “Hewillpay, I promise.”
“I lied at grad. You asked why your father was there. He offered me money in exchange for breaking up with you, but I couldn’t do that to us.”
Except I think you’re about to.Him attempting to bribe her doesn’t surprise me. In another scenario, I’d be thrilled she chose me over money, but now I wish we could go back in time and I could ensure she took the payout. At least her mind, body, and soul would have been spared. She would have walked away with a padded bank account and a broken heart, but she’d be safe, and it’s preferable to what actually happened.
Her expression pinches. “Knowing the actual depths he’ll go…I ask again. If I went back to the bonfire, would they have found another way to get to me?”
Questions I’ve been asking myself as well, and the answer isprobably. Papa isn’t one to let shit go. If she wasn’t by my side, I’m almost certain their orders were to wait for us to be alone. One way or the other, it would have happened.
Her tongue peeks between pressed lips and she nods once, taking my silence as the response. “Exactly.”
“Do you blame me?”Iblame me, because I was bred from the monster who called the shots on this. I let darkness from the city’s underworld into Katya’s peaceful life. But I ask because I have to know what level of self-hatred I will be wallowing in after this.
She shakes her head, brows dipping like my question is the stupidest thing ever. “Never. You didn’t want that either. It was an unfortunate consequence of our relationship. Your father is very determined.”
Determined. Consequence. Does she hear herself right now? The more she talks, the more her tone loses life. She’s waning before my very eyes, and I don’t know how to help her.
“It’s your world, but I think this has shown me it isn’t a place for me. And I’d never ask you to leave it behind.”
This hurts.
So. Fucking. Much.
If I could, I’d leave itallbehind. My family, friends, my Pakhan—everything. I’d run as far as I could, to the ends of the earth. End my life as a criminal and turn away from the Bratva, which is traitorous to even consider. My Pakhan would have my head, if only to reach into my decaying brain and retrieve these thoughts himself.
Doing so, offering that future… It isn’t a life for her or me. It’s a death sentence. The Bratva’s reach is far, and they’d track me no matter how well I hid our tracks. They’d go after her family, friends, anyone she’s ever interacted with. We’d be on the run,constantly looking over our shoulders. She’d be in more danger than ever, much more than any time during our relationship.
If only I never met her, then none of this would have happened.
And you’d be half a man.
“I want to,” I admit, my strained voice a mere whisper. “God,yebat”—fuck—“I want to take you away from all this, Katya. Abandon the Bratva and make you my entire world.”
