Page 52 of Deadly Knight
My fingers trace over the red and white scars, both old and new. “I’m worried being around Caleb will have me doing this more often, if he really is reminding me of the past.”
“Or he’s someone to let in. Another level on your wall. Someone to help you forward, to be there when things get difficult.”
“Maybe…” The thought of another person beingthat—being another version of Ava in my everyday life—should be welcoming, albeit scary. Instead, it makes me want to curl up and never speak to him again. Like he’s replacing something—someone—irreplaceable.
“You don’t have to decide anything about Caleb today. Take your time. Get to know him if you want. Ignore him if you want. Maybe take the week to consider it. Begin exploring your thoughts without being rushed. If you come up with an answer soon, great, but if you don’t, do not stress.”
“I’ll do that,” I agree, thankful she instantly removes the suddenness of needing all the answers.
Sometimes, other people’s advice hits better than my own ideas.
Every second Sunday,Katya finishes her therapy session and takes three buses to the outskirts of the city to her parents’ house for lunch.
Ihatethe fact she attends therapy to address all the shit my love for her brought to her life. She shouldn’t feel so broken that she seeks others to fix her, even if I get it’s best she doesn’t bottle everything up. It’s healthy to talk about it. But fuck if it doesn’t tear me up that she requires this kind of support.
“And then there’s us.” She sighs. “If my first instinct is to run away, what kind of Bratva wife would I be to you in the future? You need someone strong.”
If this is making her feel stronger, maybe she’ll come back to me one day. I’ll wait a lifetime until she realizes she’s always been perfect.
Even her changed career path bothered me at first. While admirable, the single event swapped her goals. In another life, if I had known the levels my father would be willing to go to, I could have prevented it, and she would have gone on to do what she’d always dreamed of. The only thing that makes it all betteris the fact she seems happy in her new role, able to twist the bad in kids’ lives and assist them through their own horrors.
After her session, she hops on the bus outside her therapist’s office and begins the journey out of the city. When the bus is out of sight, I return to my car and follow her there.
A few minutes into the drive, I tap Lev’s contact information on my phone. The connecting ringing sounds distract from the constant honking and shouting from the traffic forever plaguing Toronto streets.
“Da,”Lev says in greeting.
“Please tell me you found something.”
“Nyet.”
“Fuck.”
“I really am trying. Continuously pinging cell towers.”
“I know you are. It’s frustrating being stuck. Unless I stalk every inch of the city, he could be anywhere.”
“Zeno’s reaching out to every contact in the Cosa Nostra, and those he has around the globe. Seeing if anyone’s had eyes on Ivan. We’ll let you know if anyone reports anything.”
“Thanks. I have a second request. Could you get me the names of all the male staff at Emerald Youth Centre in Toronto, Canada?”
He grunts, a noise befitting Lev, who’s more content to watch and observe than speak. His own lessons learned from years beneath his father’s thumb. “Your requests get stranger and stranger by the second.”
“I’m aware. Can you do it?”
“Give me twenty.”
Click.
Papa, you can’t hide forever.Not with Zeno Mancini and his connections helping scour the fucking planet. Although I’m not convinced he’s anywhere outside of Toronto, Zeno’s efforts are appreciated.
He’s a Cosa Nostra Capo, the Italian mob made up of the Five Families—five bloodlines ruling Italy, other places in Europe, and some of the United States. His presence in our lives has been a surprise, but no less than Vanessa’s.
For a long time, Vanessa was merely my younger cousin by a year, most often sent away to boarding school in other parts of Russia. When she was home, I did my best to be there for her, since neither of us have siblings and her closest connection was Anastasia, Lev’s twin sister, who wasn’t always allowed in the mansion.
A year after Katya’s absence, when I had to get more involved in the organization, Vanessa graduated and moved back home, allowing us to become closer in our shared grief of managing what life in the Bratva is like. Ursin, my uncle and the Pakhan back then, treated her like shit, forcing her to make nice with politicians’ and businessmen’s daughters and smile for the kind of men he planned to wed her off to. It was a role she had no desire to be in and didn’t allow her to train in the business she felt was ingrained into her system. So I took it upon myself to teach her on the side, in private so neither of our fathers realized.
Losing Ursin to Erico Rossi of theFamigliaa few years ago was both heartbreaking and a relief for her, and as his only heir, she was determined to become the Bratva’s next Pakhan, despite her gender—something that bothered the Bratva’s ex-Elite members. She succeeded and wiped out the era that hurt Katya and me, my father included, moving us into a new time.
