Page 142 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 10
“Don’t you think you could add one or two date nights a week to your routine? Most couples hang out on Friday and Saturday nights when they’re first dating. You can easily adjust your schedule to accommodate change.”
And where would I take my student? To the bar down the street?Dr. Clark didn’t understand. I looked down at the leather armrest again. It wasn’t just about the change of routine. That wasn’t it at all. It was the feeling that I wasn’t in control. I’d fucking kissed her outside her dorm building. Anyone could have seen us. For a second I had forgotten what we were. A professor and his student. It was like I lost all reason around her. And that wasn’t acceptable behavior. Not for someone like me.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Dr. Clark said. “That’s why you’re here.”
I ran my hand down my face. What was there left to say? I’d already decided to stop pursuing Penny. End of discussion.
He wrote something down in his notebook, the scribbling sound of the pen against the paper slowly driving me insane. “Did you two go on a date?”
He wasn’t letting this go easily. “Not exactly. I gave her a lift home the other night.”
“And how did you feel when you were alone with her?”
I thought about Penny’s broken heel and the blood dripping down her knees.Infuriated.And then I thought about how she smelled like cherry blossoms and how beautiful her blue eyes were.Intoxicated.“Conflicted.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere. What were you conflicted about?”
Whether to turn the car around and kill whoever had ditched her on the side of the road. Or to lean over and kiss away any bad memories of her night. Whether or not I should cross the line of our relationship in the classroom. Whether or not our different ages would be an issue.I was conflicted about every single thing. “All of it. She’s out of my league.”
Dr. Clark laughed. “I doubt there are many women who’d consider themselves out of your league. I’ll ask you again…why were you conflicted? Does this have to do with Isabella?”
“No.” I shook my head. Sometimes Dr. Clark seemed really dumb. “It has nothing to do with her.”
“We haven’t talked about her since our first few sessions.”
“Because there is nothing left to say.”
“Do you think you’re over her?”
Why was he pressing this? “My relationship with Isabella was built off obligation, not love.” Our parents had pretty much arranged for us to be together since we were born.
“But you went along with it for years.”
“You know perfectly well I wasn’t happy.”
He shook his head like he didn’t believe me. It didn’t matter if he did or not. Isabella was nothing to me. And none of my hesitancy about Penny had to do with Isabella. If I liked Isabella at all, I’d still be in NYC with her. I’d still be sharing a bed with her. I wouldn’t want to throw up at the mention of her name.
Dr. Clark jotted something else down in his notebook and then looked back up at me. “It just seems logical that you might be sabotaging your relationship with this new woman because you still have feelings for Isabella.”
That definitely wasn’t it. I had been waiting impatiently for this session. But now that I was here it seemed pointless.
“Maybe it’s your whole life in New York that’s making you sabotage your fresh start here. You left all your friends and family behind. Don’t you think that might be holding you back from embracing your new life here?”
I shook my head.
“Then what did you feel conflicted about when you were driving your colleague home?”
I was done talking about this.
“You know the answer.” His voice was stern. “You’re paying me to talk through your issues with you. If you won’t talk to me, then what are you doing here, James?”
I pressed my lips together.
“Tell me why you’re conflicted.”
What the hell did he want me to say?
“You were conflicted being alone with this woman because…”
