Page 159 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 10
I stared at the video footage until they left the screen. The three of them looked like friends. They were all laughs and smiles. No hand-holding. But there was something about the video that still pissed me off. Maybe it was because I knew I would never have a moment like that with her. I could never go inside her dorm. I could never walk around campus with her. Or go to brunch at the dining hall. We’d never just be us. Our relationship would always be professor and student first.What the fuck am I doing?
“Remove the camera,” I said.
“But…”
“I don’t want to spy on her.” Honestly, I did. And that was the problem. The incredible violation of privacy didn’t matter to me. What worried me was that I would watch her. That I wouldn’t be able to stop.
“You wouldn’t be.I’mrunning surveillance on her. I’ll just tell you if anything important happens.”
“I don’t think…”
“Like if Isabella shows up there,” he said before I could continue.
“She wouldn’t do that.” As soon as I said the words, I didn’t believe them. Honestly, Isabellawoulddo that. She’d never been one to care about consequences. Only results.
“We have no idea what she will and won’t do. You were pretty sure she’d sign those papers, and she hasn’t done that yet. You were pretty sure she’d never step foot in Delaware, but she’s been to your apartment before. Cutting ties isn’t always as seamless as you want it to be. Just look at the surveillance as a way to protect Penny.”
I took a deep breath. “Fine. But you can’t stay in my guestroom anymore.” I pulled a key out of my pocket and tossed it to him. “I’m renting out another apartment in the building for a few months.”
Ian smiled. “I can stay?”
“Just don’t let anyone see you. I’m trying to keep a low profile. And I didn’t buy it, I’m just renting it…so don’t piss me off.”
He laughed like it would be impossible to piss me off. Maybe he didn’t know me as well as I thought he did.
“It’ll be like I’m not even here,” he said. “Except on game nights. And then I’ll be on your couch.”
“Deal.”
“Great. My furniture should be arriving any minute…” he glanced at his watch and then back up at me.
“What? How did you…”
“I told you I set up cameras in the building. I already knew you were letting me move in. Apartment 3B right?” He put the key onto his keychain. “I’ll check in with you later. Unless you’re planning on bringing Penny back here tonight and that’s the reason you’re kicking me out. And if you are…you should consider finally decorating the place. It’s a little…cold.”
I looked past my kitchen into the living room. Everything was white and pristine. The modern furniture was sleek with hard lines. It really was cold. The only room I’d bothered to decorate was my office because it was where I spent all my time. And I couldn’t actually picture Penny in any of the other rooms. She was so full of life, and my apartment was just…empty. It looked the same as it had the first day I moved in.
I could still remember Isabella barging in last semester. She’d looked around and laughed. She’d made some snide comment about how I was nothing without her. But maybe I just liked simple décor. It wasn’t like she’d ever taken the time to get to know me. Either way, the thought of Isabella here made the idea of bringing Penny here less enticing. Isabella and Penny were nothing alike. A stark contrast that just made me appreciate Penny more. Maybe I would do some decorating before I invited her over.
I looked back down at the papers I needed to grade. “I don’t think I’ll be bringing Penny back tonight. So take your time getting settled into your new place.” Ian being here would be a good excuse for me not to bring her back. Because as soon as Penny stepped foot in here? The smell of her would be everywhere. I wouldn’t be able to get rid of the smell of cherryblossoms. It would be all consuming. And that was a dangerous thing if I wanted to stay in control of this situation.
“Does that mean I can eat dinner here? Ellen made lasagna with my name all over it.”
I didn’t bother to tell him he could just take the casserole dish to his place. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
He smiled. “One last thing before I check out my new digs. I emailed you the section of the university’s handbook about professional conduct in case you want to read through it yourself. But there was nothing explicitly stated about professor-student relationships. There were things about sexual harassment, favoritism, that kind of thing. But nothing about actually dating an undergrad.”
“It’s more just a question of ethics then,” I said without looking up. “And I’m not concerned about that. I wouldn’t be pursuing her if my feelings weren’t real.” I frowned at my own words. I barely knew Penny. And I knew how problematic it was that I was already saying shit like that. It was easy to second guess everything when she wasn’t right in front of me.
“You don’t have to justify it to me. Just yourself. And maybe the dean if you get caught. And the press. The press will eat you alive.”
“I’m not concerned about that either.”
“Why?”
I lifted up the paper I’d been trying to focus on so that Ian would get the hint and leave. “Because she’s worth the risk.” The feeling she gave me when I was around her was worth losing everything. All the therapy in the world couldn’t make me breathe as easily as she could. Tonight was just a test to make sure there was potential for more. Because I desperately wanted more. I wanted all of her.
Obsessed - Chapter 22
