Page 195 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 10
"You're right, I like you more than ever." I forced a smile on my face, when all I really wanted to do was get down on my knees and beg her to stay.
She shook her head. "I know."
"Then what's the problem?"
"Professor Hunter, I know." She took a slow breath. "I know your secret."
My secret? Which fucking one? I couldn’t come clean unless I knew what specifically she was talking about. Because if one thing was making her run? Imagine if she knew them all. It was my worst nightmare.
"The fact that you don't even know what I'm referring to is disgusting," she said.
I felt gutted. So it was one of the bad ones. I was going to eventually tell her everything. Of course I was. But not yet. Not when we were still so new. Not when I could so easily lose her.
I stepped toward her and put my hand on her arm again. "Penny, let's go to my office to talk about this."Please.
"I'm not going anywhere with you." She took another step away from me, like being that close to me repulsed her.
"Whatever you think you know, you couldn't possibly understand. Just give me a chance to explain."
"No, I think I do understand. And I'm sorry that I let anything happen between us."
"Don't say that, Penny." I was about to lose my temper again like I had with Ray. But she was dismissing what we had because of what? A criminal record? The fact that I got fired from my last job? My confession of being promiscuous before I moved here? What? Or just the fact that I could go on for an hour might have been the problem. I was a fucking mess. She had every reason to end this. Every reason to run. But I wanted her to stay. Ineededher to stay.
"You were right to hide what kind of man you are from me. You're not at all who I thought you were. Don't text me, Professor Hunter."
"Penny!" I called after her as she turned and left the room.Shit.I grabbed my satchel and ran after her. But I lost her in the crowded hall.You were right to hide what kind of man you are from me.I stopped in the middle of the hall, ignoring the students trying to pass me.You were right to hide what kind of man you are from me.What stung was that she was right. And I couldn’t do anything to change my past. I came here to move on. But it would follow me everywhere.You were right to hide what kind of man you are from me.
***
Penny wouldn’t answer my phone calls. So I sent her an email instead. She’d have to open it because I sent it from my work email. She’d think it was for class. It was the only way I could figure out how to communicate with her. I’d delete any trace of the email later. But being caught dating a student wasn’t my greatest fear right now. Losing her was.
Subject: Our discussion isn't over
Penny,
I wish you wouldn't always feel so compelled to argue with me. I told you that I have done some things in my past that I regret. I am not withholding information from you to be spiteful. I'm doing it to protect you. If you will allow me to come talk to you, I can explain.
-James
I read it over once more and pressed send. And then waited. I went for a run in the apartment’s gym so I wouldn’t accidentally run into any students. And I waited. I graded some papers. And I waited. I spent another sleepless night in my office. And another.
I knew it was over. But I couldn’t accept that. The more time we spent apart, the more I wanted her. I was craving her. I needed one more fix. Just one more fix.
Obsessed - Chapter 34
Friday
I walked into my classroom. If Penny hadn’t thought I was a mess on Wednesday, she’d certainly think it today. I’d bothered to put in my contacts this time, but there were dark circles under my eyes. I was exhausted. I hadn’t shaved in days. And I had barely bothered to knot my tie. I was a disheveled mess. I was in pain. And I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to stand here and give a lecture when I just wanted to melt into my chair. Or fucking scream at someone. I really wanted to scream. Which was bad for poor Ray.
Penny didn’t make eye contact with me today. She was acting like I meant nothing. And the thought that it was possible that I had been reduced to so little in her eyes was starting to settle. I’d lost her. And I didn’t know how to accept that. It was like I was starving. I hadn’t known how much I was starving until I met her. And she was all I wanted.
I picked up a piece of chalk and was about to turn to the board when I saw her move in the back row. I watched her grab her things and push out the back door of the classroom. She couldn’t even look at me. She couldn’t even listen to my voice. Whatever she’d found out repulsed her. Which made sense. The chalk snapped in my hand.
***
Another restless night. I knew I had to give her up. I knew it. But I couldn’t. I splashed water on my face.
I’d watched video footage of Tyler going in and out of her dorm after class yesterday. I knew I was supposed to remove the cameras. But what did Dr. Clark know? If I didn’t have the cameras, how was I supposed to know she was safe? How was I supposed to know she was okay while I was fucking falling apart?
