Page 198 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 10
"Technically, yes, but I've already signed the divorce papers. It hasn't been a smooth process. But I have no connection to Isabella at all. We're done. We've been done for a long time."
She stared at me, waiting for me to elaborate. But I had nothing else to say on the matter. Did she need to hear that Isabella was a lying, manipulative monster? That I’d been tricked into the whole thing? Probably not. None of that mattered now. The woman sitting beside me was the only person I cared about.
"Well, what happened?" Penny finally asked.
I pressed my lips together. How could I describe how little that relationship truly meant? How I was at my lowest of lows and I thought I deserved to be unhappy? "We didn't love each other."
"Then why did you get married in the first place?"
"It's a long story."
She pulled her legs up onto the seat. "I have some time to spare."
I leaned toward her slightly and put my hand on the center console. A peace offering. "Do you really want to talk about this, Penny? All you need to know is that it was a mistake and it's over." I didn’t want to hash through all this. There were a million other things I’d rather do. I was so sick of my past lurking behind the shadows. Why couldn’t we just be happy right here right now? Why did it feel like no matter what I did, Isabella would always be there to ruin it?
"Please. I need to know." She put her hand on top of mine.
She met me halfway. I squeezed her hand. "Okay." I sighed. I could meet her halfway too. If she wanted to hear this, I’d tell her. It didn’t seem like I had much of a choice. "Isabella's parents are good friends with my parents. Ever since we were little, our parents always pushed us together. But I just never clicked with her. She was always so cold.
"In high school, I started dating a girl named Rachel. Whenever Rachel came over to my house, my parents were completely dismissive. It was clear that they didn't think she was good enough to be part of our family. They always made her feel so unwelcome. When I finally confronted them about it, they told me that if I didn't break up with Rachel they wouldn't pay for me to go to college. And I'm not proud of what I did. My life with them was all that I knew. I didn't want to have to be on my own. I didn't know how to live without money. I was young and stupid. I broke up with Rachel the next day. And my parents began to make it clear that I was expected to eventually marry Isabella."
I didn’t bother to tell Penny the part where I kept talking to Rachel after I told my parents I stopped. That we used to hang out in secret and I promised we could be together again after I graduated. That I fucking meant every word. That a few years into college Rachel just stopped talking to me. That she never said goodbye.
I looked down at Penny’s hand. I rubbed my thumb along her palm. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered now. I’d thought I loved Rachel. But I knew the truth now. Compared to Penny? Rachel was just a blip. It meant nothing. It had never been easy to breathe with her. She suffocated me too.
"Isabella was the only one they would ever approve of. They said that it was in my best interest to marry someone that wasn't after my money. I was so unhappy. When I told you that I was drunk most of college, I was serious. I completely lost it. I spiraled to the bottom. But my parents just kept telling me it was what was best. So eventually I just accepted the fact that I had to marry Isabella. Instead of worrying about it, I threw all my time and energy into the tech company I wanted to start. And when it blew up, I asked Isabella to marry me, because that was the next step I was supposed to take.”
I could have gone into more detail. But sometimes it was just too damn hard to think about that time of my life. Everything was…fuzzy. I wasn’t sober enough to recall a lot of it. But I did remember feeling like I deserved the hell I was living. That Isabella was my punishment.
“Before I even realized what was happening, the wedding was planned, and everyone had been invited. I knew I didn't love her, but I walked down the aisle anyway. And I made promises to her. I vowed to keep those promises. And I did. I tried so hard to make it work.
"But she didn't love me either. She enjoyed dressing up and playing the part of my wife. Isabella loved the lifestyle, but she didn't love me. She was cold when we were alone. We barely talked. I knew she slept around. I tried to ignore it. I wanted for us to work out because our parents wanted us to be together. Neither one of us were happy. But she was still my wife, so I kept trying to make it work. I was always loyal to her. I tried to make her happy. When I decided to sell my company she freaked out. She couldn't believe that I'd rather spend my days doing something meaningful. And she definitely didn't supportmy decision. It's funny, because my parents told me we should be together because she wasn't after my money. But really, the only reason that Isabella married me was because I had money."
I didn’t have anything else to say. I continued to stare down at Penny’s hand. It was such a pathetic sequence of events. I was a pathetic man. And it was hard to look back and see that I had no spine. It was harder to see that no one cared enough to help me. To stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life. I had nothing. And no one. Or maybe everyone I thought that should have my back thought I deserved to live in hell too. I’d hurt everyone around me. I didn’t deserve to have anyone on my side.
I took a deep breath. I was lying to myself. I barely remembered my wedding day. But I was pretty sure Rob had tried to stop me. Maybe my friends Mason and Matt did too. I couldn’t remember. But clearly I hadn’t listened. This wasn’t my friends’ fault. It was mine. It was all mine. I’d been too far gone to even really care that I was throwing my life away.
Penny squeezed my hand and I looked up at her.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"No, I am. I should have told you. Being here teaching, being with you, this is what I've been missing. I don't want this to mess up what we have."
I looked into her eyes as I continued to rub my thumb along her palm. I felt exactly the opposite with Penny than I had around Isabella. And I wasn’t going to fuck this up. I needed this one good thing. I needed her. "I've always been told what to do. I've never had to make choices. But I chose you. And when I walkedinto my bedroom and you were gone it hurt like hell. My whole life has been painful, living in a way that I didn't want to live. But nothing was as painful as you leaving and not talking to me. Seeing you in class was torture."
"I couldn't see you either. That's why I left class yesterday. I could see that you were feeling all the pain that I was feeling. I've never been so heartbroken."
I leaned over and took her chin in my hand. "Don't do that to me again. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. No more secrets." And I meant it. I’d tell her whatever she wanted to know. I’d told her about Isabella and she wasn’t running away. Maybe she needed me just as much as I needed her.
"Okay." She was silent for a moment. "When did you file for divorce?"
"Last year I walked in on Isabella having sex with someone else in our bed. I filed for divorce the next day."
"And came here?"
"Yes."
"There's a rumor that you got fired from your last job."
