Page 227 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 10
Friday
I’d tried my best to drink her away. Or rather, I was still trying. But nothing tasted as sweet as her. I lifted the bottle of scotch to my lips again as I sent off the email to cancel class.
It was 7 in the morning and I was shit-faced. Classic. It was like I was reliving my college years.
A month ago, I thought I had complete control over my life. And then Penny slammed into me and turned my world upside down. I was slipping. I could feel myself slipping. Hell, who was I kidding? I’d slipped as soon as Penny and I went from an if to a when. We never should have even been an if. I was a fucking mess. I’d never had control of anything.
There was a knock on my office door.
“Go away.” I snapped. Ellen had been bugging the crap out of me. She was worried that I hadn’t left my office all of yesterday. But the rest of my apartment smelled like Penny. This was the only place that didn’t reek of her delicious perfume.
Another knock and then the door opened. Ian was standing there with a scowl on his face.
It was tempting to throw the bottle at him, but I had a feeling he’d throw it back. And my reflexes weren’t exactly great right now. “What do you want?”
“Ellen made an appointment for you with Dr. Clark this morning.”
“I’m not going to see him.” I saw him on Sundays. Not Fridays. Besides, I had things to do. I turned back to my computer and watched the video feed of Penny’s dorm building. I just needed one glimpse of her. Just one.
“Great. I’ll have him call you then.”
Before I could protest, Ian closed the door. I didn’t need therapy. I just needed more to drink. I took another sip of scotch, feeling dizzier than before. I was just tired. So fucking tired.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been staring at my computer screen before my phone rang. Dr. Clark’s name flashed across my screen. Better to get this over with now. It took me a second to remember how to answer it. “Dr. Clark.” I ignored the way my words were slurred.
“James. I was hoping we could talk. How about I come over in about an hour?”
Now he was making house calls? And how much was he going to charge for that shit? He just wanted more money. He didn’t care about me. “No need. We can do this now.”
“Do what?”
There was a movement on my screen. I stared at the person exiting Penny’s building. Some girl that wasn’t her.Fuck.
“James, are you there?” Dr. Clark asked.
“Mhm.” And just then Penny appeared on the screen. I reached out and touched her. She looked sad. And small. Young. I pulled my hand away and watched her disappear off my screen. A small piece of me hoped that Tyler would be with her. That she’d moved on. I wanted what was best for her. And that wasn’t me. And yet…she was alone. She was always alone. And my resolve was slowly breaking. I was slowly breaking. I tried to take a deep breath, but it felt like the air didn’t reach my lungs. “You were wrong. About all of it.”
“About what exactly?”
I looked down at the bottle of scotch on my desk. It was supposed to numb my pain. But it did nothing. Nothing. I could barely see straight and still all I could feel was this all-consuming need. A need I was all too familiar with. And I couldn’t satisfy it with alcohol. Or anything else that wasn’t her. I had nothing left to say to Dr. Clark. I was about to hang up when he started speaking again.
“I thoroughly believe that we’ve made a lot of progress.”
“We? There’s no we. I’m in this alone. That’s the whole point.”I’ll always be alone.
“That’s not…”
“Don’t give me a lecture about how you care, Dr. Clark. You care about a paycheck, just like everyone else in my life. You can cancel the rest of my appointments on your calendar. I won’t be returning.”
“James…”
“You should have stopped me. You should have and you didn’t. And now I’m worse off than I was before.”I have nothing.That feeling of emptiness was creeping back into my chest, suffocating me. I didn’t realize I’d thrown the bottle of scotch at the wall until I heard the glass breaking. I watched the liquid run down the wall.
“James, are you drinking? You’re better than this. You’re stronger than this.”
No, I wasn’t. I hung up and leaned back in my chair, almost tipping the whole thing over. I wanted another drink. Not that it would help. It wasn’t what I needed. I knew the difference between want and need better than anyone.
Obsessed - Chapter 43
