Page List

Font Size:

“What? No.” I reached for it and nearly fell out of my chair.

She started to walk away.

What the fuck was her problem? I slowly followed her, wishing my legs didn’t hurt so damn much from my run. And certainly if I could see in a straight line this would have been easier. By the time I reached the kitchen she was already pouring the scotch down the drain.

The whole counter was filled with empty bottles of liquor. Apparently she’d poured it all down the drain.

“Well, that’s just a waste,” I mumbled.

She turned around with her hand on her hip. “Enough of this. Sober up and then go ask Penny to forgive you for whatever you did to screw this up.”

Why did she assume that I was the one that fucked everything up? “I can’t.”

“Of course you can. You can start with the words ‘I’m sorry’ and go from there. You’re used to giving speeches. Figure it out.”

“I’m not going back to her.”

“Why?”

“Because she lied to me!”

Ellen just stared at me. “Then forgive her.”

“It’s not that simple. She’s 19, Ellen.” My legs were so tired that they gave out. I slumped down onto the kitchen floor.

“So what? My husband was ten years older than me. And you didn’t see me making a fuss.”

I’m not making a fuss.“That’s not all.”

“Then tell me why. Why isn’t it as simple as her forgiving you or you forgiving her?”

“Because I’m a monster! And she deserves better than me.”

Ellen’s face fell. “You are not a monster, James. You are one of the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever met.”

“You only think that because I pay you a small fortune not to leave me.”

She sat down next to me on the floor. “That’s not why. You’ve donated so much of your money to good causes. You gave up your lifestyle in New York to come teach and give back here. And you gave Ian a job when no one else would.”

“Well that’s just because he’s the best at what he does.”

“No. That’s not the reason and you know it. He had PTSD and you were patient with him as he healed. No one else would give him that kindness or that chance.”

“I’m sure someone else would have.”

“Maybe one day. But you did right away. You are not a monster.” She put her hand on my knee. “But you’re not a very nice boy when you’ve been drinking.”

I laughed and she smiled.

I slowly shook my head. “But it doesn’t matter. Penny is still better off without me.”

“That couldn’t possibly be true.”

“For once in my life, I’m trying to do the right thing, Ellen.”

“Right for who? Certainly not for you. You’re a mess. And if Penny feels the same way about you too…I bet she’s just as miserable.

I pictured the dark circles under Penny’s eyes. She looked like she was in pain too.