But she was probably thinking the same of me. It was her birthday for Christ’s sake and I was sitting in my apartment alone instead of with her.
I’d resisted for days, but I turned on my computer. I opened up the camera footage from outside her dorm. And I just stared at it. But everyone that was going out for the night had probably already left.
So I rewound the footage. Back to this morning to see her leave for her first class of the day. Maybe seeing her would be the answer I needed. If I could just see her smile…I’d stay away. For her. I’d do it for her. I just needed to see one tiny smile.
A few students came in and out of the dorm, but none of them were Penny.
Was she lying in bed this morning as depressed as me?
I continued to stare at the screen. I just stared and stared until finally, she emerged.
For just a second, it was a little easier to breathe.
She was walking next to Melissa. Melissa was smiling and laughing about something. But Penny wasn’t. I zoomed in on her face and froze the frame.
It was her birthday. And she looked even sadder than she had in class yesterday.
She should have been smiling and laughing and screaming my name with my cock deep inside of her.
Fuck.
I slammed the lid of my laptop shut. What the hell was I supposed to do if this was a lose-lose situation for her?
***
I ran to her dormitory.
Then I ran back to my apartment.
Then back to her dorm.
Then back to my apartment.
I literally ran back and forth, with the envelope in my hoodie pocket, trying to decide what the fuck to do. Until I realized that the best thing to do was try to run the idea of seeing her out of my system.
So I ran farther. Faster. I ran until it hurt more than usual to breathe. Until my lungs ached. Until I knew it was past midnight.
I’d missed her birthday.
I hadn’t said a fucking word.
And I regretted it. But at the same time…I didn’t. Because Penny was strong. She’d move on. She’d find someone new. Someone who wasn’t so fucked up in the head. And then…she’d be happy. Way happier than she would be if she stayed with me.
I collapsed on a bench on Main Street to try to catch my breath.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out.
I had a message from Penny. After days of praying she’d speak to me, now I didn’t even want to read it. But her name lit up on my screen was too much of a temptation to resist. I clicked on the message.
"I had a great birthday. Thanks for remembering, Professor Hunter. I assume you had something super fancy and prestigious to do tonight. Sorry I wasted so much of your precious time. I hope you have a great life."
I’d remembered.
I’d been tormented for days.
And every second I’d spent with her were the best moments I’d had in a long time.
My time wasn’t precious. My time felt endless. That’s what days without her were…an endless hell.