"You better not bring them back to this room," said Tim. "I don't want to end up in Brazilian prison."
"Yeah, that would be awful," said Alex. "Especially for you, Tim. You'd definitely be the first one to be someone's bitch."
Tim smiled, as if Alex had just given him a compliment. "You know, I've always thought I'd be popular in prison. It's the one place where my baby-smooth skin would come in handy. It's a blessing and a curse..."
Alex and I glanced at each other and tried not to laugh. We still weren't entirely sure if Tim was gay or not. He had a lot of girlfriends, but the things he said were just so freaking gay.
I was about to add a comment about Tim's inability to grow facial hair, but my phone buzzing in my pocket distracted me.
I pulled out my phone and read a text from Alina: "I wonder if they'll ever find the mustachioed Canadian responsible for that heinous crime."
Hmm...how to respond.I started typing out a response: "I don't know, but he sure seems like a real bad ass."
"Was that Alina?" asked Tim.
"Yeah," I said.
"Did you ask her out to dinner?"
"No."
"And you thinkI'dbe the bitch in prison? You can't even ask a girl out."
"Oh snap," said Alex. "Tim's right, you are being kind of a bitch about this girl. You've been talking about her all day and then you don't even ask her out?"
"I was just waiting for her to respond." I added, "Where do you want to go for dinner?" and hit send. "There, I asked where she wanted to go for dinner."
Tim put his hand on his head. "You didn't ask her if she wanted to go first? Chivalry is dead."
"I like it," said Alex. "Way to man up."
"Do you even have proper Brazilian evening dress?" asked Tim. "This is a disaster."
"What is this, Downton Abbey?" asked Alex.
Alina's response popped up on my phone: "Wherever you want. Where should Kristen and I meet you guys?"
Damn.Her inviting Kristen was a pretty clear sign that she didn't want it to be a date. Em's advice ran through my head.It's not complicated. Go get her."Well, she thinks you guys arecoming. And her friend Kristen is coming. Who wants wingman duty?"
"Is Kristen her friend from last night?" asked Tim.
"Hmm...I don't know who you're talking about," I said. I wanted to see if I could trick Tim into saying her codename outside of a mission, a clear breach of spy protocol.
"You know. The tall one with the dark hair."
"Oh, you mean Brunette Gir..."
Tim slapped me. "No! No codenames."
I should have been shocked, but slapping was Tim's go-to move when he got upset. Whenever anyone questioned him about it, he insisted that punching was "too brutish."
"Alright, fine. Yes, Kristen is her friend from last night. Now help me figure out where we should take them. We need somewhere real nice."
"I read about a steakhouse in the city that's simply to die for," said Tim. "I think it's called Carne Duro."
"My Portuguese is a little rusty, but doesn't that translate to Hard Meat?" asked Alex. "As long as we aren't going to a gay strip club, I'm in."
Tim grabbed his phone and brought up his trip advisor app. "Oh, my mistake. It's actually Carne Deliciosa. Carne Duro must have been...never mind. Here, I'll make a reservation." He clicked afew buttons and then said, "Done. Tell the girls we'll meet them at the north village exit at 6:30."