Page 26 of Starting Over at Halesmere House
She scrambled inside, feeling nothing like Wonder Woman and more like a scarecrow in her gardening clothes. ‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘I hope I don’t make a mess of your van.’
‘It’ll cope; it’s seen worse.’
‘How did you know I’d gone?’
‘I saw the light go out and I thought you’d do this. I was worried about you.’
‘Sorry. There’s no need.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked, and she almost laughed until she remembered the party and how close they’d become so soon, his words before they’d parted. No, she wouldn’t laugh. He had his own story, and she knew none of the details. Who was she to assume her hurt was worse than anyone else’s?
They were at the barn already and the gate was closed. She had to get out to open it and there was no point in climbing back in the van for the final few yards. Her hand on the door, she went to push it.
‘Can I message you later, to see if you’re okay?’
‘If you want to. But I will be, I am, fine.’ Alice hesitated. ‘It was an anniversary, that’s all. A first. I didn’t think anyone else had remembered and then my sister-in-law sent me a message. We’re very close and she’s probably the only one who really understands. But it’s nearly over now and it won’t hurt so much next time.’ Not a birthday but she would always hold it in her heart and think of the baby with love.
‘I’m sorry. I know what those can be like. Make sure you get warm; you were freezing when I found you.’
‘I will.’ The second she opened the door, the wind caught it, and her thanks was spun away into the air. Clutching at her hood, she tried to keep it on as she found her key and swung the gate shut. She wasn’t surprised when the van’s lights faded only after she’d closed the front door. She was home, and she dragged off her wet things and dumped them in the utility room. If it kept on raining like this, she’d be converting a bedroom into a drying room soon and investing in a pair of waders.
Her shower had never felt better and later, curled up on the sofa withStrictlyand a ready meal on a tray, she found her phone. Alice thanked Jenna for her message, however much it had unbalanced her when she’d seen it. She didn’t have to carry her loss alone and Jenna had helped by remembering. As Alice watched an ex-cricketer ace the most gorgeous Viennese waltz, she knew the worst was over and she would be okay.
When her phone buzzed again, she was expecting plaudits from Sandy about the dance. But it was Zac’s name she saw, and she scanned his brief message.
This is me, checking in. You okay?
Alice was about to reply until she caught sight of her feet, cosy in cashmere cream socks on the sofa. In a moment of impulse she took the image and sent it, and his next came quickly back.
Are you sexting me, Harvey?
He’d added a pair of wide eyes emoji and another one crying with laughter, and she grinned.
Hadn’t intended to but if bed socks are your thing…
Maybe one day you’ll find out. Long as you’re okay?
Thank you, I am x
Alice added the kiss at the end as automatically as she would to anyone she usually messaged, hoping he read no more into it than she’d meant.
Sandy’s parish church was only a mile or so from Alice and in the morning, she walked down in time for the ten thirty start of the service. Before Halesmere she’d driven almost everywhere, and she loved the extra exercise she was fitting into her days. Trees were bright shades of copper, orange and red, hedges sprinkled with scarlet berries and the cold air was sharp on her face now that the wind had fled and taken the rain with it. Not that her body wasn’t making its protests known occasionally, with aching muscles and shoulders sore from lifting. But it would all get easier, and decent weather in spring would help.
The small parish church sat squarely in the centre of a generous plot bequeathed by a local landed family hundreds of years ago, the village school plonked next door, and each had a gorgeous view of the valley spread out before them. The church, its adjoining hall out of action due to a dodgy roof, was busier than Alice expected as people enjoyed a simple breakfast before the service began. She helped herself to tea and chatted with a couple of people she’d met on her previous visits to Sandy.
There had been some surprise in the family when her aunt had left her career in the prison service and retrained for the ministry. Once qualified, Sandy had considered prison chaplaincy before deciding to seek a parish role instead. Alice had always enjoyed Sandy’s services, and her care for people was exactly as it had always been as she opened worship with a heartfelt welcome and a lively song led by a small band.
An hour later, as people wandered off after the service or hung back for more refreshment, Alice strolled outside. Sandy was likely to be busy for a little while yet and she could go to the rectory and get on with the lunch. Surprised, she saw Neil and Zac chatting with Pearl in the churchyard. Had they actually been in church? Alice had sat near the front and hadn’t noticed them before now.
She flushed as her mind raced back to last night when Zac had discovered her chilled and huddled on the floor of her studio. Did he pity her, distraught by that first anniversary? He’d seen her at her worst, brought low by loss. But then he’d set out into the night to find her, so she didn’t have to walk home alone in the dark, soaking and frozen. He’d thought to check in later and they’d made each other laugh with their messages, that image of her socks. This was all leading her down a road she’d never intended to navigate when she’d moved here, and she reflexively took a few steps back, straight into a large plant pot that tumbled over with a crash. Heads turned, including Zac’s, and he grinned as she swiftly righted it.
‘Doesn’t matter, Alice, that shrub is on its last legs. If it’s broken, you’ve probably done me a favour.’ Sandy was at her side, and she offered a quick goodbye to another parishioner on their way past. ‘How lovely that Neil came to the service; I really wasn’t sure he would when I invited him. And he brought Zac with him too – I wasn’t expecting that either.’ Sandy linked an arm through Alice’s. ‘Let’s go and say hello.’
Alice felt almost naked in front of Zac now, stripped bare by his gaze after he’d witnessed her distress last night. Their messages didn’t feel quite so larky as she avoided his eyes and what she might find in them. Only her family and a very few close friends had ever seen her like that. But she couldn’t forget his concern, too, and the hoodie he’d draped over her. He had seen so much and in the sharp autumn day that felt even more revealing than it had in her darkened studio or on her phone back at the barn.
‘Neil, Zac, how wonderful to see you!’ Sandy offered a hand, and they shook hers in turn. ‘I’m so glad you both came.’
‘It was a great service, Sandy; I really enjoyed it. And we couldn’t say no to another lunch, could we?’ Neil grinned at Zac, and he nodded, his gaze drifting back to Alice’s.
