Page 60 of Starting Over at Halesmere House
‘Hey.’ Zac’s grin lit up his face and she knew hers was telling the same tale. ‘I was about to call you.’ He stepped back. ‘Do you want to come in?’
‘Tell me why you were going to call me first.’ If he’d decided to err on the side of caution then it wouldn’t help her resolve if she was in his space, close to him.
‘It’s maybe not what you’re expecting. Ella and Isaac are home, and Max wondered if we’d like to see them.’
‘We? You and me?’
‘It’s not such a strange thought. He knows we’ve been spending time together – everyone does; we haven’t exactly been keeping things a secret. Stan saw us leaving the flat yesterday and I think us kissing before we even got in the van might have given something away. But I understand if you’d rather not go.’
‘Oh Zac, I’d love to see Isaac, of course I would.’
‘Sure?’
‘Certain.’ She swallowed. ‘He’s your godson, and I’m thrilled for all of you. They must be expecting loads of visitors; it’s very good of them to think of me.’
‘Shall I say we’ll come over now?’ Zac’s hand found hers to squeeze it firmly. ‘If they’re okay with it?’
‘Absolutely.’
At the cottage, Alice took a deep breath as Max opened the door to Zac’s knock and Lily was right behind him, bouncing excitedly with Prim. Zac was holding Alice’s hand and she knew she could’ve made him let go, but she appreciated his support and his understanding that this might be a happy occasion tinged with some sadness for her. More than anything, more than whatever hormones or emotions might do to her now, she was going to celebrate with others and delight as they did in their children and families. Life would be too hard otherwise.
Arlo was busy with his toy sheep as it was too dark to do anything more with the real ones tonight. Ella was tucked up on a sofa in the family room, a Moses basket beside her. Lily and Prim trotted in first, followed by Alice and the two men. Alice gave Ella a hug, congratulating her before she peeped in the basket at the tiny baby. He was asleep, his head dusted with fine dark blonde hair, miniature fists pink and scrunched.
‘Oh, Ella, he’s beautiful,’ Alice gulped. ‘Absolutely exquisite.’
‘Thank you.’ Ella’s blonde hair was longer than her usual pixie cut, falling towards eyes shadowed with tiredness, and she smoothed a gentle hand over Isaac’s head. ‘We definitely think so and he’s got Stan entranced already.’
‘Congratulations, Max.’ Zac hugged him and kissed Ella after taking a peek. ‘He’s not got his dad’s nose so that’s something.’
‘It really is.’ Max’s look at Ella was adoring. ‘Who wants a hold?’
‘Please don’t disturb him if he’s sleeping,’ Alice said quickly. ‘I’m sure you need to make the most of every peaceful moment.’
‘No, really, it’s fine, cuddle away.’ Ella leaned gingerly towards the basket and Max was quicker.
‘Let me.’ He lifted Isaac and the baby whimpered as Max held him. ‘Alice?’
‘Oh no, let Zac go first as he’s Isaac’s godfather.’
Alice wasn’t expecting the blast of emotions charging through her as Zac held Isaac over his shoulder, patting his back gently as the baby grumbled. ‘I’ve had some practice with Hayley’s girls,’ he said, his smile for Alice understanding.
Max disappeared to answer another knock at the door and Lily and Arlo were engrossed at the breakfast bar with iPads, Prim curled near Ella’s feet.
‘We ought to go,’ Alice said at the sound of more voices in the hall. ‘You must have so many visitors wanting to pop round and meet Isaac. He’s gorgeous.’
‘There’s no rush, Alice.’ Ella was smiling. ‘Not if you’d like a cuddle before you go.’
‘I’d love one,’ Alice said wistfully. She held out her arms, clinging on to another gulp as Zac transferred Isaac across, and she stared at his tiny round face. She hadn’t held a new-born since her nieces, and back then she’d still thought she might one day hold her own. She couldn’t quite process the wonder, the tenderness and still a little hurt, the never-ending shadow of sadness she lived with. But holding this precious and so very loved child was a gift, and she tried to soothe him as he wriggled, a grizzle threatening to become more, rocking him in her arms in the age-old way.
‘I think he might be ready for another feed,’ Ella said. Max’s mother, Noelle, had appeared, and she’d brought gifts for the children to celebrate their new brother, exclaiming over the beauty of the baby and how clever Ella was as Alice returned him to Ella.
‘Thank you for including me,’ Alice said quietly. ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I’m so happy for you all.’
‘Thanks, Alice, that’s very kind.’ Max followed her and Zac to the door, and she hugged him after Zac had done the same. Max was saying something about holding a christening in the spring and she must come, but her thoughts were still with the baby. The warmth and feel of him in her arms, the wonder on Ella and Max’s faces.
Outside, Zac looked at her as they strolled through the arch towards the courtyard. ‘Are you all right? I know it can’t have been easy.’
‘I’m fine. Thank you for asking. He’s utterly adorable; no wonder they’re besotted.’
