Page 65 of Starting Over at Halesmere House
There were more changes she’d have to make in her life. Managing the gardens at Halesmere and the work required to keep the meadow in shape would be a challenge as her pregnancy moved on, and she would have to speak with Max as soon as she’d delivered the news to Zac. A new Cumbrian School of Horticulture was opening soon, and she wondered about finding someone part time to take on the most physical tasks for now. Max had been approached with a view to lecturing at the school and he’d turned it down as he simply didn’t have the time.
During the week leading up to Isaac’s christening, Alice felt more anxious about telling Zac about their baby with every day that passed. His moving away had been difficult for both of them but it simply wasn’t possible to maintain a relationship with three hundred miles between them. Online messages and calls were fine, and they still caught up now and then. And on Sunday she was going to give him an almighty shock and bind their lives together in some way through their child.
Ella and Max were holding a gathering after the church service in the barn at Halesmere and the house had been made available for family and friends to stay for the weekend and this, Alice knew, included Zac. He’d casually dropped in that he was travelling down on Saturday, and she’d put him off before he suggested that they get together. Much as she couldn’t wait to see him and had missed him every day, she didn’t want him at the barn and discovering her news before the christening. She wanted that safely out of the way before he heard what she had to share.
On Sunday, Alice arrived at church almost at the last minute, hoping to avoid bumping into Zac until afterwards. But he was standing beside the porch as she walked up the path, the lovely spring sunshine keeping others outside too. He looked wonderful and she had to gulp back the worry blended with a blast of joy at seeing him. Her hand was resting on her new little bump, reassuring them as much as herself that they would be fine, however this day turned out. She’d never seen him in a suit, and the navy blue worn with a white shirt suited his colouring beautifully. His hair was a little longer than she remembered, the dark curls tamed, beard the same.
He turned around and his wide grin had her swallowing again. All these weeks without him and she wanted to rush over, tell him how much she’d missed him and wished he could come home. But she would say none of that; it wasn’t how their lives would be. All she needed was for him to accept the baby in some way and play a role in their future so that their little one had a father they knew.
‘Alice!’ He was jogging down the path and her own smile was an uncertain one. ‘You look amazing; I’ve missed you!’
‘Hi, Zac.’ She wasn’t expecting his arms around her, and she had to force herself not to melt. He felt so familiar and yet strange, as though he was a song she’d played over and over, and now she couldn’t quite remember the lyrics.
Would he feel the bump in her stomach and notice she felt different? Did she have that pregnancy glow she’d heard about? When, really, she felt tired more often and sometimes still sick, too. Was it written all over her face, this secret she couldn’t keep for much longer and needed to share with him?
‘You look great too. The Highlands obviously suits you.’ Alice eased herself free. She had to protect herself as well as the baby, and emotions, hormones, whatever it was racing through her mind, weren’t helping her cling to the reality of six hours between them. Distance didn’t seem to matter when she was looking up in the face of the man who’d teased her, laughed with her and supported her into this new life.
What if he’d met someone else and not told her? Why would he? It wasn’t necessary; it was none of her business. But still she glanced around in a moment of panic in case he’d brought a guest who was waiting for him.
‘You think?’ Zac huffed out a laugh, checking over his shoulder as someone called his name. ‘I’ve got to go; they’re about to start.’ He took her hand. ‘Can I see you afterwards? I’d love to catch up so we can talk.’
‘Of course.’ That helped – she wouldn’t have to make a point of trying to waylay him alone now he’d asked first. ‘After the christening, back at Halesmere?’
‘Sounds great, see you then. I’m driving back tonight so I can’t be too late leaving.’
And he was gone, running into the church to take his place as Isaac’s godfather. The baby also had two more: Jamie, Ella’s brother, here with his husband; and Stan, who’d apparently been silent for ten whole minutes together when Ella and Max had asked him. He’d stumped off to his workshop without replying to gather himself, and knowing him as well as they did, they’d taken that for a resounding yes.
Lizzie was Isaac’s sole godmother, and the whole group looked wonderful as they made their solemn promises of care in front of Sandy and a packed congregation. Prim had been allowed to join them and she sat very quietly at Lily’s side, only barking once at the end of a hymn, and frightening a pair of elderly ladies who squawked in alarm.
The service was over in less than an hour and most of the guests were making their way outside for photographs. Neil was walking down the aisle with Zac and Alice suddenly felt lightheaded at the sight. This wasn’t just her baby she held. This little one already had grandparents, aunties and uncles, and four fierce little cousins. The baby connected all of them now, and Zac was their father.
Her legs trembled as a wave of nausea hit her and she gripped the back of the pew in front. She just needed some fresh air. She turned, swaying. But the ground suddenly seemed an awful lot closer, and she heard a roar.
‘Get out of me way! She’s expectin’!’
Alice’s bemused glance was on Stan, trying to guess at the focus of his attention as he shoved his way through the throng. She swayed again and his arms caught her before she fell.
‘How did you know?’ she said faintly.
‘I lived in an ’ouseful o’ women an’ I’m surrounded by ’em. I wasn’t born yesterday, lass; I know you’ve stopped drinkin’ tea. I’ve got you – sit down. Take a breath.’
Alice eased back onto her pew, mortified by the fuss she’d caused and very thankful that Ella and Max had tactfully gone outside and taken most of the guests with them, leaving her with Stan, Sandy and Neil. And Zac, who was standing, white-faced and frozen, a few feet away.
‘You all right now?’ Stan stepped back. ‘Sorry if I blurted out summat I shouldn’t, lass. You looked like you were about to keel over.’
‘I’m fine.’ She was still quivering, with nausea or anxiety, she wasn’t sure which, terrified of what Zac might, must be thinking. ‘Thank you for catching me.’
‘You’re very welcome.’ Stan patted her shoulder. ‘I’ll be outside if you need anythin’ else.’
‘I’m sure I won’t.’ Alice carried ginger biscuits everywhere and she took one from her bag to nibble on. She breathed in and out, closed her eyes. Maybe when she opened them again Zac would be gone, and they wouldn’t need a conversation to talk about the future. Then she would understand his response to the news Stan had blurted out to save her from falling.
‘Do you want me to stay?’ Sandy hunched down in front of her and Alice shook her head.
‘Thank you but no.’ Her smile was a weak one. ‘I’ll see you back at Halesmere.’
‘Okay. Here if you need me.’ Sandy stood up and Neil came over.
‘Alice,’ he said quietly, glancing at Zac, who still hadn’t moved. ‘Oh, love. It’s lovely news, it really is.’
