Page 69 of Starting Over at Halesmere House
‘That’s great. I’m glad you’re happy. And you finding your way was never in doubt; it was only a matter of time.’
‘Thanks, Zac.’ Alice knew she was doing a good job of assuring him that she was settled if he didn’t suspect how she really felt about him. How happy it made her, that he was here now; how difficult she found every goodbye. The first half of her teacake was gone, and she picked up the second. ‘I’ve spoken to Lizzie and Ella about my taking over the mindfulness sessions next year. They were really keen, and I can train online when I’m ready. I use it every day and I want to combine it with nature and the forest bathing. It’s another line of work outside of the garden.’
‘I think you’ll be perfect. It’s great, how you’ve made Halesmere such a home.’
‘Thank you,’ she said wistfully. ‘But what about you? I’ve barely heard you mention your fabulous new job.’
‘That’s because we’ve had other things to talk about,’ he said quietly.
‘True. But how is everything, really?’ Suddenly Alice didn’t want to know all about his new life. What if he’d met someone else and hadn’t found a way to tell her? And what if he wanted to take their child hundreds of miles and six hours north for a long weekend, and she’d be left at home fretting about how he was coping? Or shared those times with a new partner, someone who’d be a stranger to Alice and yet a step-parent to her child?
But she’d just have to cope; those scenarios came with the territory, and they weren’t here yet. Maybe she could bring the baby up for those first faraway visits, and stay somewhere close at hand, if not actually with him. There was going to be so much they’d both miss, parenting separately.
‘It’s fine,’ he said. ‘Busy, long hours.’
‘Okay. And the house, have you found anywhere else yet? It’s not that long until your first six months will be up.’
‘I’ve viewed a couple, but they weren’t right, not now with the baby. They were both projects and I won’t have the time. I don’t want to spend every spare minute doing DIY. I’ll probably be coming down here, begging for a bed for the weekend. The spare one, obviously,’ he finished quickly.
‘There’ll always be room for you at the barn,’ Alice offered. ‘We’d love to see you.’
‘I think you’ll be an amazing mum, Alice. You have so much love to give.’ His voice caught and his hand slid over hers. ‘The baby’s so lucky to have you.’
‘And you too.’ She swallowed. ‘You’ll be the one teaching them how to climb trees and drive a car and ride a bike down a mountain. And so much more.’
‘I hope so.’ Zac’s eyes were bright. ‘My dad’s over the moon; he can’t wait for another grandchild.’
‘I know, he keeps asking me how I’m doing and if there’s anything I need. He’s so sweet. I heard his house has sold and he’s found a new one, near Halesmere.’
‘Yeah.’ Zac sighed. ‘Weird, isn’t it, him being the one to move up here right after I’ve left. He and Sandy seem really happy together.’
‘It’s wonderful.’ Another family thread binding Alice and Zac together.
He checked his phone. ‘I’d better make a move. I’ve booked a couple of weeks’ holiday around the end of August, so hopefully the baby won’t be too far either side of the due date.’
‘Let’s hope so.’ Alice gathered her bag and stood up. ‘I probably won’t have much say in it.’
Four weeks later, Alice was in the Flower Shed, the door wide open to allow in the spring breeze. May was a glorious month and she loved every moment of it. Lush new green life was exploding everywhere, and the days were bright, easing into mild nights. All her hard work in the autumn had paid off and the meadow was thriving. Cold gloomy hours planting hundreds of bulbs were worth every minute when she caught sight of the array of colour greeting her each morning. She loved to wander among it all and pick the flowers and foliage she arranged in the house for guests. The annuals in the polytunnel would go in the ground soon, and she had some help lined up for that.
She was almost six months pregnant now and flourishing, thankful there had been no real complications so far. She made sure to eat and drink well, and she walked every single day, no matter the weather. Since her scan, Zac had been down for a weekend and he’d stayed at the barn, which had been both wonderful and desperately sad as they navigated this different relationship.
She’d lain awake thinking of him across the house, wishing he was beside her, their baby between them. The nursery was finished and they’d gone shopping, choosing the last few bits together. The musical mobile to hang above the cot, with its furry grey elephant and cuddly friends; the matching sleep bag and a pushchair they’d spent hours over, trying to decide what would be best.
‘Hey, Alice.’
Alice looked up from the table and the list of bulbs she was planning to add to the meadow in the autumn. Ella was at the door, Isaac swaddled against her chest in a baby carrier.
‘Are you busy?’
‘Never for you and that gorgeous little guy.’ Alice swallowed; it still hit her every time she saw Isaac that he was Zac’s godson and she got to spend more time with him than Zac did. ‘Please can I have a cuddle?’
‘You definitely can.’ Ella unwrapped Isaac and handed him over to Alice, whose heart expanded with love. It did that often, these days.
‘Gosh, Ella, he’s such a sweetheart. So like Max, and his hair’s so blonde.’
‘He really is.’ Ella laughed as she tugged Isaac’s coat off and he beamed at Alice, making her heart flutter again. One day her baby would smile like that. ‘I’m off to the vet’s to pick up something for the sheep; we can’t stay long. There was nearly a riot first thing because one of them needed the vet and Arlo did not want to leave it.’
‘Oh dear.’
