Page 8 of Starting Over at Halesmere House
Zac disappeared and Alice busied herself washing up the two dirty cups for Stan. Zac returned moments later with a large cardboard box, unwieldy in his arms. It was unmistakably a bike, going by the name of a large company she recognised splashed across it. She thanked him stiffly as he propped it against a wall. She would deal with it later and decide what to do once she was alone. It wasn’t Zac’s fault the delivery had caught her by surprise and dragged a piece of her past in with it.
‘Do you want me to run it down to your new place?’ Stan was looking at her feet now, and she couldn’t see why her steel toe-capped wellies were so interesting. ‘You don’t look like you could ride it back to t’barn, not in them boots.’
‘I think I’ll just leave it here for now, thanks, Stan.’ Alice flashed him a grateful smile to soften her refusal, blinking away the reminder of her dad in Stan’s cheerful nature. The box certainly wouldn’t fit in her car, and she didn’t want it in the house anyway. ‘I’d need to order a helmet before I could ride it.’
‘You mean the barn that’s just been sold, near Luke’s farm?’ Zac had already made the connection. ‘So you’re the one with the conifers that need sorting out? Max asked me to take a look at them.’
‘Conifers?’ Alice forced her mind away from the bike and back to her new house. She’d totally forgotten that Max had been kind enough to view the garden back in late summer once her purchase of the barn was progressing. He’d offered some expert professional advice, advice she was planning to take when time allowed. But first she needed to find her feet with the new business. ‘Oh, those. I don’t think they’re going anywhere for now.’
‘Are you sure? Max said they’d had it, and they should come out before the weather takes them out. And I’m a tree surgeon, a really good one, according to him.’
‘But aren’t you too busy? I heard there’s a lot to do at the hotel.’ Alice knew about the huge landscaping project Max was leading, and the team working alongside him. Her waterproofs rustled irritatingly as she dried Stan’s two mugs with kitchen roll and handed them back. Tea towels were something else she needed in here.
‘I’m not so busy that I can’t sort out those conifers before they become more of a problem for you.’ Zac glanced around the studio, taking in the bright glow of the fire, the pair of comfortable sofas. ‘Can we sort a time?’
‘Do you mean in the evening, after work?’ The jump in her pulse at the thought of making plans to see him again, even in a professional sense, was a surprise. Unhelpful too, for considering his suggestion to meet. And now she’d made her reply sound like she’d meant something more intimate, like the pub. She really ought to be writing all this down and emailing it to Kelly for interpretation.
‘Actually I was thinking during the day as I’m not great at sizing up jobs in the dark with a torch.’ Zac’s mouth quirked in that grin again and Alice’s face was pink as he raised a brow. ‘But if you’re suggesting…’
‘Maybe pop in when I’m around and you have a minute, so we can arrange it,’ she added quickly, reaching for the tone she’d used at work, and failing. ‘I’ll be here most days.’
‘Throw in a brew and you’re on.’
‘Okay. I just need to buy some supplies first. Stan brought the tea.’
‘You still don’t have any milk?’ Zac crossed one ankle over the other as he regarded her.
‘I’m all out,’ she said smoothly, lips twitching and aware of Stan watching on in puzzlement. It was like having two conversations at the same time, one with words and an entirely separate one with Zac’s eyes, flashing now with laughter.
‘Not having much luck with that, are you?’
‘Come on, lad, time to leave Alice to it.’ Stan gave Zac a pointed look as he made for the door. ‘Some of us, namin’ no names, might ’ave time to stand around all day an’ some of us ’aven’t. I’d better get on before anyone thinks I’m skivin’ or summat.’
‘I could put the bike together for you, if you want?’ Zac rested a hand on the box. ‘Save you buying tools if you don’t have any.’
Politely made, his offer still irritated Alice. It had been quite some time since she’d had to resist assumptions that she needed someone else to fight her battles, or even build her a bloody bike. She could probably put it together quicker than him, given her experience, and was half tempted to suggest it until she remembered that she hadn’t kept her dad’s old tools. It had been hard, letting go of that connection to him, but she wasn’t planning to restore any more cars in the future.
‘Thank you but it won’t be necessary.’ She could order whatever she needed online if there wasn’t a nearby shop.
Zac nodded and outside he casually pointed to a door at the top of a flight of stone steps across the courtyard. ‘So that’s me. See you, Alice.’
‘Right. Bye.’ She couldn’t think of a single reason why she would ever set foot in his flat. They were directly opposite one another; every time he opened his curtains he’d be staring down at her studio. She wasn’t sure howthatmade her feel, but the thought of him being her neighbour had her smile lingering as she closed the door.
Sighing, Alice brushed against the box before dropping on the sofa. She picked up her phone, put it down again. She needed to find the words to thank Ray and her old colleagues for the gift and soon, but right now she had no idea what they would be.
There was some admin to do, including writing the final content for her new website and ordering supplies for the wreath-making courses, but she wanted,needed, to be outside, and she could take care of the admin at the barn. The fire was only embers now and she put her coat on and locked up.
Tending her garden and spending every spare moment outdoors had been a necessary balm to the pace of running her own business and the anguish over her failure to have a family of her own. She’d sometimes wondered if the two went hand in hand, one success and the hours she put in exacerbating problems with the other. But there was no definitive answer and as the distance grew between her and her ex-husband, Gareth, being outside became ever more important.
When her marriage had finally collapsed, she’d been utterly crushed and her dreams of a family in the future had fled with her ex-husband. He’d stormed out, informing her that he couldn’t live with her expectations and sorrows for another minute. The crash of his car door slamming and the engine roaring as he drove away had reverberated through her mind like gunshots, each separate sound brittle and sharp as they’d sliced through her heart.
Afterwards she’d done what she always had when all else seemed lost: worked, forcing herself into the yard every day, determined to hide her distress and continue as normal. Within three months of Gareth’s leaving, she was running on empty.
Closer in distance – geographically and emotionally – than Alice’s mum, her aunt Sandy had been a constant support. She’d asked Alice to come and stay at Halesmere and each time Alice had refused, until the day Sandy turned up in Sheffield and pretty much dragged Alice back with her. Sandy welcomed her with good food, time alone or company when she wanted it, plenty of rest and, when she was ready, a listening ear.
It was during one of those visits, as she’d wandered around Sandy’s garden and taken long walks immersed in the landscape she’d already fallen in love with, that Alice had realised she didn’t want to go back to Sheffield. She didn’t want to leave this place and other than the business there was nothing much to keep her there now. Some friends had drifted away; others she could keep in touch with online and meet when time and opportunity for everyone allowed, which seemed to be less and less these days. Kelly was a brilliant emotional support too, but her career often took her overseas and time together was rare.
During a mindfulness session at Halesmere – which Sandy encouraged her to try on one of the weekend visits that were becoming more frequent – Alice had discovered forest bathing and her mental load had finally begun to lift. Encouraged to walk slowly, let her senses take over and ‘bathe’ herself in beauty and nature, she’d felt a powerful, unexpected sense of connection to the ancient wood and the strange wisdom of the age-old trees around her.
