Page 62 of Finding Home in Hartfell
‘Not just any farm.’ Gil’s voice was low beside her ear. ‘Back in the day, this was the Walker family farm. The one your great-grandmother married into.’
‘This is Ivy’s farm?’ Pippa tilted her head until her eyes found his. ‘Seriously? Ivy and Albert’s?’
‘The very one. Albert took on the lease after his father, and he and Ivy farmed it all their lives. It reverted back to the estate once they passed because their daughter didn’t want to carry on.’
‘Gil, this is incredible! I can’t believe you brought me here.’ Pippa sank onto a low grassy bank, trying to absorb the view of her family’s past. ‘Edmund emailed me some information, and I’d been planning to find the farm. I just hadn’t got around to it yet.’
‘You want to take a closer look? I’m sure they won’t mind.’
Slowly, she shook her head. She didn’t want to share these hours with anyone else. ‘Maybe another time? Today I’d like to enjoy it from here with you.’
He settled next to her, holding onto both dogs, who were disappointed to have their walk cut short. It was nearly far enough for Maud anyway, she’d be asleep by the time they returned. Fells dipped and rose, the occasional tree bent double by the prevailing wind, stone walls green with moss from the years, clouds scudding across the sky. Pippa’s eye roved over the farm as she tried to imagine how – if – it might have changed since Ivy’s day.
‘It’s so beautiful and peaceful,’ she said wistfully. ‘But it must have been a hard life for them out here.’
‘Hard but rewarding.’ Gil slid a warm hand onto her thigh. ‘Pippa, I’m sorry I was angry about the photo album. I’m not really used to sharing my story, but it wasn’t fair to shut you out of your history too. I wanted to say that you can have it back, see what else you can find in the house. That picture of my dad with yours isn’t the only one.’
‘Thank you, I really appreciate it. I understand how special those memories are,’ she told him quietly. It was cool up here and she snuggled close, wanting to keep him near. ‘I’m sorry my dad is making things difficult for you. I have no idea what’s behind it but I’m going to find out why he’s refused to extend your lease. It’s the least I can do.’
‘But maybe it doesn’t matter anymore and I’m wrong to cling to this place. Maybe there is something else out there for me.’
‘So why are you still fighting for it?’ She held her breath. Perhaps her own future might be bound in what he would say next.
‘I guess it’s because living here with my gran is the only home I remember as a kid.’ She was stroking his hand, wanting to keep that connection, to let him know she was listening to every word, felt every memory he shared.
‘We didn’t have a lot, but I knew she loved me.’ He sighed, and Pippa’s heart clenched again. ‘And growing up on the farm, being a vet and carrying on what my grandad had started just made perfect sense.’
‘You’re an incredible vet,’ she said sadly. ‘Your patients and your clients love you and you make a difference every single day.’
She’d seen it often enough these past weeks; his calm and professional warmth, the confidence that he could apply his training and experience to help. She was thinking of the calf born last night, alive because of Gil. The anxious owners coming through the consulting room door every week, leaving with a plan in place and hope in their hearts. How could she be the one to snatch all of this away from him and the community he loved?
‘Thanks, Pippa.’ The hand left her thigh to go around her shoulders, pulling her closer still. ‘But you know what it’s like. You didn’t have it easy either.’
‘It’s strange. To the outside world it looks like we have everything we want, because Dad is successful and famous. But when it’s just us, behind closed doors, he’s part of a family who want the same things everyone does. Love, home, safety, security, all the usual stuff. And it only takes one person to be missing for lives to swerve in a different direction and then you feel adrift.’ There was something else she suspected, something she’d guessed at, and she wondered if he’d share it. ‘May I ask you something personal?’
‘Sure.’
‘Those swimming medals, in the cabinet. Are they yours?’ She heard, felt, him huff out a long sigh and she pressed herself against him. ‘I understand if you’d rather not say.’
‘Yeah. After what happened to my parents, I was terrified of the water for a long time. When I got older, I decided I wasn’t going to let that fear hold me back and took lessons. I worked at it, got better and swam competitively for a while, as you saw. I’ve always been pretty stubborn.’
‘You don’t say.’ She smiled and heard the low rumble of his chuckle.
‘I’m not mad about swimming, it was just a means to an end, that’s all. A way to get past the fear, not a hobby I really loved.’
‘You’re amazing.’ Pippa’s heart was racing, and she couldn’t have said how long they’d been sat up here, sharing secrets on a grassy bank with the landscape that connected both of them rising to meet a sky made softer by wisps of white clouds. She was dreading leaving Gil and Hartfell and returning to work, the end of the summer holidays already in sight. She’d landed in his childhood home, the one that had made him feel safe and secure, and her being here threatened to yank it from him. There had to be another way and she was going to find it. She had to, especially after these last few hours together.
‘I’m really not. I’m a grumpy bugger who’s not great at showing how I really feel.’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she teased, easing them past that moment of sadness. ‘You were pretty clear last night.’
‘Yeah, well, you seem to have got right under my skin, Pippa Douglas.’ He cupped her face, turning it so he could kiss her. ‘I’m telling you things I haven’t shared in years. And I really don’t get how easily we understand each other.’
‘Me neither.’ She hadn’t got a witty reply to that, just a clear sense that he’d spoken the truth. She understood, knew him too.
‘And I’m not saying any of this to try and change your mind about the house, or feel sorry for me in some way. I know it’s crazy, saying this after one night together, but you’re important to me, and I think you feel the same.’
‘You know I do.’ They hadn’t held back last night, and it had been wonderful, making love, talking, laughing together until dawn had risen and brought a new day with it.
