Page 47 of Snowfall Over Halesmere House
‘No, you’re right.’ She laughed, a light, brittle sound, as their hands separated, and she returned to the sofa and the blanket. ‘It’s your kitchen, you can make what you like in it. Sorry.’
‘And don’t apologise either, I know you were being kind. I appreciate it.’
‘Okay. Thanks.’
‘That’s your thing, isn’t it?’ His voice dropped, and Ella was glad of the blanket and Prim coming over to distract her, as though the blanket could shield her from his gaze, suddenly piercing. ‘Taking care of people,’ he went on. ‘Encouraging them, helping them grow. You haven’t been here long and already Stan’s strutting around like he’s ten feet tall because you’ve taken the time to recognise his skill and find him more to do. You’ve made connections at the village shop, got the landlord of the local pub offering me a discount on his craft beer and suggesting we build a meal at the pub into our retreat packages. My mother’s persuaded you into one of her gowns to sit for a portrait and Pearl’s giving away tables for the Christmas open day faster than I can keep up with her messages telling me so. And then tonight, taking care of my children and my mother the way you did.’
‘Anyone would have done the same.’ Ella hesitated, thinking of Noelle’s distress earlier. ‘How is she?’
‘Frightened. Apologetic and frantic, and we both know there’s a difficult conversation to be had. She’s not really cut out for taking care of them, however much she tries.’ He sighed, running a hand across his face. ‘She told me how calm you were and how you looked after them all.’ He paused. ‘She also told me I’d be crazy to let you go.’
The colour drained from Ella’s face and the hand stroking Prim’s head trembled as the soothing piano notes from the speaker drifted around them. ‘I’m not really here, Max,’ she told him quietly. ‘And it’s probably time to let you get some rest.’
‘Back to an empty house you don’t want to be alone in?’
‘That’s not fair. I don’t have any choice while I’m here.’ She gently lifted Prim’s head and threw the blanket off.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’
His gaze was unflinching, and Ella saw the sudden truth written on his face. He didn’t want her to leave either.
She jumped to her feet and was at the door before him, shivering in her T-shirt the moment she pulled it open. The icy air reached in, wrapping her in its grip, the heat in his gaze moments ago no longer enough to keep away the cold.
‘Thank you for everything you did tonight.’
She wanted to tell him it was fine, but the words caught on a sob that clutched at her throat. She saw again in her mind the ambulance arriving to take Lauren away, her dad staying behind to look after her and Jamie while her mum, white-faced and still, clutched Lauren’s hand as she was rushed outside. Ella had never been able to forget the long hours waiting for news, praying for improvement, hoping for the best and fearing the worst as time moved on and her family’s world ground to a shocking and horrifying halt.
It hadn’t been the same tonight, with Arlo, but her fear, the fright, the possibility of a future for Max and Lily without him were the same in those first terrifying moments when she’d found him slumped on the floor of the flat. Ella’s shivering worsened into tremors reverberating through her body and she couldn’t make her feet move towards the house. Didn’t want to leave Max and the understanding she saw in his gaze. He reached out, swiftly pulling her against him. She hated that grief had found her once again, even as she clung to him and her tears dampened his shirt.
‘Ella, it’s all right, I’ve got you.’ His lips were against her hair and gradually her sobs subsided as they held one another. ‘I can’t make it okay but I’m here. I’ve got you.’
She knew what would happen the moment she tipped her head back and saw his eyes, urgent on hers. She felt the push and pull of what they were about to do, and her stomach fell away as longing slammed into her. Her breath was already catching as they waited, almost daring the other to act first. Then his mouth landed on hers and she wanted nothing more than to give herself up to the kiss his eyes had been promising for days. His hand was in her hair, the other hard on her back as they kissed with frantic longing. It was a fierce, life-affirming, consuming kiss that had her pushing him back inside until he was against the wall, their lips refusing to relinquish one another.
His wide shoulders were firm beneath her hands, and she slid them down to his chest. She was dazed, dizzy, lost in the passion they’d unleashed as his hands ran down her arms, thumbs skimming her breasts until they edged beneath her T-shirt to rest on the bare skin at her waist. Max dragged his mouth from hers, their eyes heavy with desire, lips crushed, breath snagging as it left her body, limbs trembling and unsteady.
‘I’ve been wanting to do this since that night I found you on the drive,’ he muttered hoarsely. ‘I hate the thought of you being alone when I want you beside me.’
‘Please don’t say something you’ll regret in the morning.’ His heart was thudding beneath Ella’s hand, and she held back a gasp as she felt him tracing a pattern on her skin beneath the T-shirt. She ought to step away but instead she lifted her hands to his face. Felt the scratch of his stubble against her palms as she saw the wonder, the glimmer of tears hovering. ‘We’re both tired and stressed after what happened, Max. It was just a mad moment. And now…’
‘And now, what?’ His gaze was loaded with a surprising certainty, and he blinked back the brightness from before. ‘I don’t regret anything I’ve said or done, Ella. But maybe you do?’
‘You know I don’t.’ She couldn’t offer words that differed from the reply to his question her body had already given him. Her pulse was still soaring, and she let her hands fall to rest lightly on his shoulders. She wanted more, longing to unfasten the buttons on his shirt so she could uncover the reality of what she’d been imagining for weeks. Her fingers went to his chest, the first two buttons already undone, and he dragged in a breath. His hand covered hers, sliding it to the next button, but she stilled, his skin hot against hers already blazing.
‘We can’t do this.’ Her voice was a muttered whisper, an attempt at reason full of regret. ‘It would change everything and working together would be so much worse when it ends. I don’t want some casual fling I have to hide from everyone else, most especially your children.’
‘Neither do I, Ella. And it’s complicated, I get it. They can’t be hurt again.’ Max sighed as he lifted her hand, slowly kissing her fingers one by one, and she attempted a smile.
‘Can you please not do that either, not unless you plan on closing the door and telling Prim to go away.’
‘What?’ His glance fell to see Prim, waiting expectantly next to Ella. ‘I didn’t even know she was there.’
‘That’s because it’s not your foot she’s standing on.’
‘Actually, it’s because I was thinking about the incredible woman in front of me and whom I very much wish didn’t have to leave.’
Prim was wagging her tail and whining softly. ‘Bugger off,’ he hissed, and Ella stifled a laugh when the dog tilted her head to one side, as though asking him to repeat the instruction. ‘You really are a bloody nuisance sometimes,’ Max muttered as he stepped aside, and Prim followed him happily into the family room. He closed the door firmly and Ella straightened her T-shirt.
‘I think that’s my cue to go.’
