Page 64 of Snowfall Over Halesmere House
‘I really did, more than I expected. The ice skating was nice. That’s something I could take the kids to do in the holidays. I don’t think any of us miss London, just now and again some of the things we did there.’
‘How was tonight, your new tradition with them?’ Ella’s voice had fallen as she pictured Lily and Arlo snuggled up to Max reading Charlie Brown, facing another Christmas without their mum.
‘Yeah, good. I think it’s something we’ll do again. They loved the book and my mac ’n’ cheese turned out okay. I was trying to give them something to hang on to that belongs here. Arlo’s too small to remember that we used to eat cookies and readThe Night Before Christmas.’ Max sighed. ‘I’ve still hung the stockings at the ends of their beds. I don’t want to change everything, just mix it up a bit.’
Ella found his warm hand, resting on his thigh, and he lifted hers to kiss her fingers. ‘It takes time, years really. I don’t think you ever get over it, just used to it.’
‘I’m sure you’re right. So how was your new Christmas tradition, watching the same movie but with me?’
‘Nice. One of those things that makes Christmas feel as though it’s really here.’ Better than nice, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to say that out loud.
‘Ella, what will you do, when you leave here?’ He let go of her hand and his eyes were troubled. ‘Have you thought about it?’
‘Not much.’ She hadn’t mentioned the potential for becoming a teacher to anyone other than Marta. Ella still had research to do and a decision to make. If she wanted to teach young people at catering college then it meant she could at least stay on in Cumbria, whatever happened between her and Max. She hadn’t forgotten her mum’s words about always running away from anything that might hurt, and she was beginning to think she’d found a place where she could put down some roots. She’d enjoyed Brighton, but her flat was more of an investment once she’d been able to afford it rather than somewhere she envisaged living for a long time.
‘What if your role here could be permanent and full-time? I’ve been giving some thought to a more substantial job managing the holiday business.’ He shifted on the sofa to face her, and their hands separated. ‘It’s all your ideas we’re implementing, and you know what you’re doing with it better than anyone.’
‘Max, I’m not sure the business warrants someone full time.’ Ella wanted to share the truth fixed in her heart, about how much she already loved him and his children. But it wasn’t right to rush ahead when he simply wasn’t ready for more, and she found another reason, one which offered a version of the truth. ‘I do love it up here but I’m not making any definite plans before the New Year. I’m still not certain about my career and it wouldn’t be right to accept something until I am.’
‘And what about us?’ His eyes were sharp on hers.
‘You and me?’ Her laugh was light, gone. She had to leave a way out for them both. A way for her to leave in the spring with her heart mostly intact, her job done. And for him to let her go, not suspect the hurt she knew she would carry if that day ever came. ‘We’re just a maybe, aren’t we, Max? Maybe one day you’ll be ready for more and maybe I’ll be ready for that family.’ She stood up. ‘I’d better go. At least one of us has a very early start tomorrow when Santa’s been down that chimney.’
‘So we’re still on for our first date at the ball?’ Max followed her to the front door and Ella raised a shoulder.
‘Sure, seeing as officially I’m just your plus one. Merry Christmas, Max.’ She reached up and kissed him lightly, felt his hands tightening on her waist as he kissed her back.
‘Merry Christmas, Ella,’ he said softy. ‘See you tomorrow.’
When Ella woke on Christmas morning, she felt sad for a few moments, thinking of her parents so far away in New Zealand, their day over and evening about to begin. Her brother Jamie called, and they chatted for a bit, reminded each other of Christmas mornings at home and the long walks they’d take after lunch before flopping in front of the telly. Dylan had hooked up with someone in Chamonix and returned Ella’s messages with the briefest of replies. She was thinking too of Lily and Arlo just across the drive in the cottage, opening their presents with Max and hopefully having a lovely time. The house was quiet when she wandered down to the kitchen in her pyjamas in search of breakfast, until a thumping at the front door had her going to see who was there.
‘Flippin’ ’eck, young Ella, thought you was never gonna let us in.’ Stan crashed through the porch into the hall, his arms full of a huge roasting tray and a large turkey. ‘Gotta get this in the oven sharpish.’
‘I thought you were cooking it at home.’ She watched him stomping to the kitchen and heard the clatter as the tray hit the table.
‘Aye well, I was. Until Pearl told me you was on your own an’ not spendin’ the mornin’ with the boss an’ them kiddies, an’ your mum an’ dad away.’ Stan huffed out an embarrassed laugh as his gaze slid away from Ella’s. ‘You gonna show me ’ow to drive this fancy oven, then? I was off sick the day we did physics at school.’
‘Oh, Stan.’ She went over and gave him a hug. He squeezed her back, letting her go just as quickly. ‘And there was me thinking you were dressing up again, not coming in that old donkey jacket.’
‘There’s time yet, don’t you worry.’ He winked and she grinned at him before turning away to rearrange the trays in the oven and switch it on. ‘Reckon I can trust you to keep an eye on this while I go back for Pearl, you bein’ a chef an’ all.’
‘Ella! Look!’
She spun round as Lily flew into the kitchen, holding a squirming guinea pig. ‘He’s been, Santa’s been! Look at my guinea pig.’
‘Merry Christmas, Lily.’ Ella bent down as Lily halted and held out her arms very carefully. ‘Wow. She’s lovely. Or is it a he?’
‘She’s a she, and she’s called Lottie, after my favourite doll, the dog-walking one. Santa’s brought the hutch, but Daddy said he must have had a word with Stan too cos Stan’s made us a run for the garden.’ Lily turned to him, her eyes shining. ‘Thank you, Stan. Daddy said you must have known about the guinea pigs because you’re such a good elf.’
‘Well.’ Stan was delighted. His chest seemed to swell as he puffed it out and he tapped his nose. ‘I can’t reveal my secrets or what Santa told me but long as you’re pleased, Lily, then I’m ’appy too. Where’s Arlo?’
‘Getting dressed. He was cross because Daddy wouldn’t let him come out in his pyjamas.’ Lily looked at Ella. ‘But you’re still in your pyjamas.’
‘I am.’ Ella was on her way to the door. ‘I’m going to shower right now, but I’ll be back very soon and we’ll go and see Stan’s amazing guinea pig run, okay?’
‘Okay Ella. Daddy and Arlo won’t be long, and Mamie’s coming too.’
‘Don’t you forget that turkey, chef,’ Stan called, and Ella raised a hand as she ran across the hall.
